Sunday, June 16, 2019
Hilarious Dirty Joke: A Couple Making Love In Their Bedroom
Ole and Lena are having love in their bedroom. Ole says, "Lena, did you know that there are 117,000 musk ox in Alaska?" Lena says, "No, I didn't." Ole says, "And Lena, did you know there are 482,000 grizzly bears living in Alaska?" Lena says, "No, I didn't. Gee, you're smart." Ole says, "And Lena, did you know there are more than 2 million...
Best Hilarious Catholic Joke Of The Day: Why Didn't Ya Tell Me?
Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked,.. "Father, my dog is dead. Could ya' be saying' a Mass for the poor creature?" Father Patrick replied, "I'm afraid not. We can not have services for an animal in the church. But there are...
Bad Comedy Joke Of The Day: Dad Got The Best Lie Detector
One day Jack's dad bought a robot. The robot was special in that it could detect a lie and would slap the person who lied on the face. Jack returned late from school that day and his dad asked him, "Son why are you late from school?". Jack answered, "Dad we had extra classes today". Much to his astonishment the Robot jumped up and...
Hilariously Best Terrible Joke Of The Day: The Obliging Mortician
Dorothy was very upset because her husband Albert had just passed away. She goes to the mortuary to look at her dearly departed, and the instant she sees him she starts wailing and crying. One of the attendants rushes up to comfort her. Through her tears she explains that she was upset because Albert was wearing a black suit and that it...
Hilarious School Joke Of The Day: Little Johnny v/s Science Class
In a school science class four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol. The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a jar of sperm. The fourth worm was put into a jar of soil. After one day, these were the results: 1) The first worm...
Hilarious Old Age Humor: Elderly Memory Problem Good Joke
Two elderly people living in Trailer Estates, he was a Widower and she a widow, had known each other for a number of years. One evening there was a community supper in the big activity center. The two were at the same table, across from one another as the meal went on, he took a few admiring glances at her and...
Best Hilarious Indian Joke Of All Time: English Woman & WC
In the days when you couldn't count on a public toilet facility, an English woman was planning a trip to India. She was registered to stay in a small guest house owned by the local schoolmaster. She was concerned as to whether the guest house contained a WC. In England, a bathroom is commonly called a WC which stands for "Water Closet". She...
Hilarious Indian Kannada Humor Joke: The Ultimate In GAY
The recent Delhi High Court ruling on Gays has created quite a stir in Karnataka and has made the average Kannadiga take a re-look at his daily life. The native Kannadiga family man wakes up in the morning (belaGAY) and discovers that his whole family could be GAY. His father is heard telling his mother : maganGAY, magalGAY, soseGAY. His wife says...
Joe passed away. His will provided $30,000 for an elaborate funeral. As the last guests departed the affair, his wife, Helen, turned to her oldest friend. "Well, I'm sure Joe would be pleased," she said. "I'm sure you're right," replied Jody, who lowered her voice and leaned in close. "How much did this really cost?" "All of it," said Helen. "Thirty thousand." "No!" Jody exclaimed. "I...
Joke Of The Day: Introducing The New Doctor To The Community
A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older doctor suggested the young one accompany him on his rounds so the community could become used to a new doctor. At the first house a woman complained, "I've been a little sick to my stomach." The older doctor said, "Well, you've probably been overdoing the...
Hilarious Good Comedy Old Biker Joke Of The Day: Hand Job
A crusty old age biker, on a summer ride in the country, walks into a tavern and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads: CHEESEBURGER: $1.50 CHICKEN SANDWICH: $2.50 HAND JOB: $1000 Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive female bartender serving drinks to a meager looking group of farmers. "Yes?"...
Bad Joke Of The Day: Couple Were Waiting Their 16 Year Old Son
A couple were sitting up waiting for their 16 year old son to come home from a social engagement,.. when the boy came into the house with a big smile on his face. "Hi, Mum! Hi, Dad! he said breathlessly,.. "Guess what! I've just had sex for the first time, and it was wonderful!" His mother turned red and said to her husband,.. "He's...
Hilarious Husband Wife Bad Joke Of The Day: Fishing Surprise
Saturday morning I got up early, put on my long johns, dressed quietly,... made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck,... and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. There was snow mixed with the rain and the wind was blowing 50 mph. I pulled back into the garage, turned on...
Little Johnny v/s Maths Teacher Joke: New Generation Student
Math Teacher: Johnny, Tell me, If you have 12 chocolates and,... You give 5 to Sophia, 3 to Emma and, 4 to Isabella, Then what will you get? Little Johnny says: * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * "3 New Girlfriends Mam...!!!"
Hilarious Best Jokes For Kids: Children, School & Spelling Humor
My son, Johnny, a kindergartner, practices spelling with magnetic letters on the refrigerator: "cat", "dog", "dad", and "mom" have been proudly displayed for all to see. One morning, while getting ready for the day, Mitchell bounded into the room with his arms outstretched. In his hands were three magnetic letters: "G - O - D." "Look what I spelled, Mom!" Mitch exclaimed, with...
Hilarious Doctor & Mental Patients Clean Joke: Congratulations
Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for seven years. The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board overlooking an empty swimming pool, and asks the...
Hilarious Clean Bar Joke Of The Day: Good Nun vs Vodka
A man is drinking in a bar when a nun harasses him about drinking. In self-defense the man says, "Who told you that drinking is bad?" Nun : Mother Superior told me. Man : So, have you ever tried it? Nun : No, I haven't ever taken a drink of hard liquor. Man : Well, don't criticize me if you haven't tried it. I'll tell you...
Hilarious Short Non Veg Dirty Joke: Naughty Dentist VS Nervous Woman
A nervous young lady sat on a dentist's chair to get her tooth extracted,.. Seeing too many instruments she got frightened. "Doctor, I would much rather have a baby than my tooth pulled out." The dentist retorted : * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * "Well make up your mind, ... so that I can adjust the chair accordingly".
Joke Of The Day: Son & Mothers Talking Parrot Reading Bible Gift
Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers and prospered. Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who lived far away in another city. The first said, "I had a big house built for Mama." The second said, "I had a hundred thousand dollar...
Hilarious Joke: Man Is Flabbergasted At These Pets Crazy Prices
One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one. The man asks, "How much is the yellow one?" "$2,000," the assistant replies. The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it's so expensive. "This parrot is a very special one," the assistant explains. "He...
Hilarious Joke Of The Day: Never Lie To A Smart Wife / Woman
One day, the husband called his wife, and asked: "Honey I've been asked to go fishing in China with my boss for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get the promotion. So could you please pack enough clothes for a week, set out my rod & fishing box. We're leaving from office & I'll swing by the house to...
Naughty Smart Woman Joke: How To Inherit A Fortune
When Fred found out he was going to inherit a fortune,... when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. So one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just an ordinary man," he said as...
Hilarious Political Joke: Indian Tourist And Bronze Statue Of A Rat
An Indian tourist walks into a curio shop in San Francisco. Looking around at the exotica, he notices a very lifelike, Life-sized bronze statue of a rat. It has no price tag, But is so striking he decides he must have it. He takes it to the owner: "How much for the bronze rat?" "Twelve dollars for the rat, one hundred dollars for...
Top 30 Best Desi Jokes Collection: Indian English Hindi Humor
1) What's the difference between Gandhi, Musharraf & Lalu? Gandhi didn't know what's lie, Musharraf doesn't know whats truth,... And Lalu doesn't know the difference. 2) Open Challenge 4 Every 1 ... * * * * * * * * * Choti abcd Badi ABCD se Kitne Saal Chhoti Hai??? 3) Are you a high scoring student? Bored of getting good marks? Then join WHATSAPP UNIVERSITY... aur fark dekhiye sirf 3 mahino me.. marks se nomarks... ab sach mein...
Hilarious Indian Desi Robert And Ajit Short PJ Hindi English Jokes
Scene: Robert and Ajit go for shikar... Robert spots a peacock... Robert: Boss.... more.. more... Ajit picks up the peacock, shoots it and says... Ajit : Nomore! Robert: Bass is gaddar ka kya karen? Ajit : ise sui chubho chubho kar mar daalo... pulees samjhegi sui-cide hua hai. Scene: Robert and Ajit are in a boat. The boat suddenly springs a hole and water starts coming inside. Robert...
Hilarious Joke: Worst Salesman Of The Year & His Customer Service
Young Johnny was appointed sales person at a local General Dealer's store in Kampala. While on one of his shifts, a lady approached him and asked if they had peach jam to which he bluntly replied, "Out of stock." At this, the lady immediately turned to leave the shop in disgruntlement. It was then that the shopkeeper, who had been looking on, called...
Hilarious Pharmacist Joke Of The Day: The Religious Boyfriend
A young man strides into a chemist and asks for a packet of condoms. The pharmacist replies: "They come in packs of three, nine, or 12. Which would you like?" "Well," the young man begins confidently, "I've been seeing this girl and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's the night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're...