A guy and a girl meet at a bar.
They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place.
A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands.
He then takes off his trousers and washes his hands again.
The girl has been watching him and says,
"You must be a dentist."
The guy, surprised,...
A cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman.
He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"
"No", he replies,
"I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it.."
The intrigued woman says,
"A state-of-the-art watch?...
A man walks into a watering hole with a large box and takes a seat at the bar.
The bartender, curious, asks, "What's in the box?"
The man says, "I'll show you if you get me a free beer."
So the bartender gets the man a beer.
The man drinks it, then pulls out a minuscule little man and a matching piano.
The little...
A blind man enters a bar and find his way to a barstool.
After ordering a drink, and sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells to the bartender,
"Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet.
In a husky, deep voice, the woman next to him says,
"Before you tell that joke, you should know something.
The bartender...
"I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me,
grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig."
"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says,
menacingly, as I burst into tears.
"Come on, man," the biker says,
"I didn't think you'd cry. I can't stand to see a man crying."
"This is...
At a bar, Archie approaches Zoe, a pretty girl drinking by herself.
He tries to make conversation, offers to buy her a drink, when suddenly she yells,
"No, I won't sleep with you tonight, you pig!"
Everyone in the bar stops and stares.
Completely embarrassed, Archie slinks back to his table with a red face.
After a few minutes, Zoe walks over to him...
An Irishman walks into a bar in London, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.
When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
"You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it," the bartender tells him, "and it would...
A husband and wife were walking down a high street when the wife spots a beautiful diamond necklace in a jewelry store window.
She urges her husband to go inside so that she can take a look at it.
Although she wants it, he simply doesn’t have to buy it for her, but he promises that it’ll be hers one day.
A...
Three drunken guys entered a taxi after a heavy night of drinking.
Immediately realizing that the men were inebriated, he quickly thought up a plan to get rid of them.
He started the engine, turned it off again and said: "We have reached your destination".
"Alright pal, here you go," said the first guy as he gave him the money.
The second guy...
A wife decides to take her husband, Dave, to a str*p club for his birthday.
They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin'?"
His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.
"Oh no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team."
When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his...
A guy is sitting in a bar; absolutely drooling at a pretty young thing in her short, pink mini-dress.
Using the time-honoured icebreaker, he sends her a drink.
"How lucky am I," he thinks, as she gets up to come sit next to him.
They strike up a wonderful conversation.
Finally, the girl turns to him and says,
"Look, you seem like a really...
