A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for dinner.
This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous.
They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.
The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole.
The gas pains are almost making her eyes water.
Left with no...
There once was a farmer whose wife had died and left him with three beautiful teenage daughters.
Every weekend, when they went out on dates,
the farmer would stand at the door with his shotgun,
making it clear to their dates he wanted no trouble from them.
Another Saturday night came around.
At about 7pm., there was a knock on the door.
He answered and...
There once was a man who owned a sausage factory,
and he was showing his arrogant preppy son around his factory.
Try as he might to impress his snobbish son, his son would just sneer.
They approached the heart of the factory, where the father thought,
"this should impress him!"
He showed his son a machine and said:
"Son, this is the heart of the...
Jack woke up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas party.
He didn't even remember how he got home from the party.
As bad as he as feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.
Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he saw was couple of aspirins next to a glass of water...
Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father.
He watched as his father moved from horse to horse,
running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest.
After a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?"
His father replied,
"Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good...
A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying,
"God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa."
The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye Grandpa?"...
The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do"
The next day...
The son of a rich Saudi sheikh arrives in Germany for his University studies.
He soon writes home to his father.
Dear Dad,
Berlin is wonderful, the people are nice and I really like it here,
but Dad I am a little ashamed to be riding to class every day in my 24k gold Ferrari 599GTB
when my professors, friends and many...
A man in Scotland calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says,
"I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing;
forty-five years of misery is enough."
"Dad, what are you talking about?" the son screams.
"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer." the father says.
"We're...
Little Johnny comes home from sunday school with a black eye.
His father sees it and says, "Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with the other boys?"
"But Dad, it wasn't my fault.
We were all in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of me had her dress...
Thomas is 32 years old and he is still single.
One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?"
Thomas replied, "Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them."
His friend thinks for a moment...
A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall.
They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, "What is this Father?"
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in...
One day a 12-year-old boy was walking down the street
when a car pulled up beside him and the driver lowered a window.
"I'll give you a large bag of M&Ms if you get in the car," said the driver.
"No way! Get lost!" replied the boy.
"How about a bag of M&Ms and 10 dollars?" the driver asked.
"I said no way," replied...
