Monday, December 9, 2019
Hilarious Dirty Husband Wife Joke Of The Day: I Like Your Beard
A married man was visiting his "girlfriend", When she requested that he shave his beard. "Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face." James replied, "My wife loves this beard. I couldn't possibly do it. She would kill me!!" "Oh please?" the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice... "Really, I can't," he replied. "My wife loves...
Hilarious Comedy Joke Of The Day: Lady v/s Gentleman On Bus
Joke Title: Acquainted This lady that was wearing a tight skirt was waiting at the bus stop to get onto the bus. A bus pulled up and the driver opened the doors. She tried to step up onto the step but her skirt was too tight. So she reached back to unzip and loosen it a little. She tried to step up onto the...
Good Naughty Humor: Married Woman's Ultimate Fantasy In Three Words
A woman (mom) was sitting at a bar enjoying a cocktail after work one night, when the bar door opened and the most gorgeous hunk of a man she had ever seen entered. He was tall, muscular, and handsome, with thick dark hair and beautiful, sparkling green eyes, and his every movement was so masculine and sensuous that the woman could not...
Little Johnny comes home from sunday school with a black eye. His father sees it and says, "Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with the other boys?" "But Dad, it wasn't my fault. We were all in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of me had her dress...
Hilarious Non Veg Joke: The 11th Husband And Virgin Wife
A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband to "Please be gentle; I'm still a virgin." "What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be possible, if you've been married ten times?" "Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to...
A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying, "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa." The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye Grandpa?"... The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do" The next day...
Enjoy These Best & Hilarious Bad Short Dirty Jokes: Dark Humor
There are 3 Male and 1 Female pencils in a box. The Female pencil got pregnant!! Which Male pencil is responsible? * * * * * * ANSWER: THE ONE WITHOUT THE RUBBER. Woman in bed with husband's best friend, phone rings! "YES".. "OK, BYE". She turns to her lover and says, * * * * * * * "THAT'S MY HUBBY, SAYS HE'S NOW GOLFING WITH YOU." Three Roosters: normal, retarded and a gay. Normal : cock-a-doodle-dooo !!! Retarded : doodle-cock-a-dooo...
Best Dirty Joke Of The Day: Bad Woman & Her Daytime Affair
A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One wet and lusty day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway. "Oh my God - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband's home early!" "I can't jump out the window, It's...
Hilarious & Naughty Smart Wife Joke Of The Day: Present For Husband
A woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip. The wife answers: "Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?" The husband laughs and says: "An Italian girl,...!!!" The woman kept quiet and left. Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport...
Hilarious Dirty Husband Wife Best Joke: No More Bad Headaches?
A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those Headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone." "No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?" His wife replies, Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me To Stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat,... "I do not Have a Headache; I do not have a headache, I do not...
Hilarious Adult Irish Humor Joke: Married Irishman's Confession On Affair
A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, "I almost had an affair with another woman." The priest said, "What do you mean, almost?" The Irishman said, "Well, we got undressed, naked and rubbed together, but then I stopped." The priest said, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your...
Two priests were going to Hawaii on vacation and decided that they would make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, and so on. The next morning they went to the beach, dressed in...
Hilarious Dirty Parrots Joke Of The Day: Who Needs Prayers?
Joke Title: Who Needs Prayers? A lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing. They keep saying "Hi, we're hot. Do you want a date?" "That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed. "But I do have a solution to your problem. Bring your two parrots over to my...
Best & Hilarious Doctor Joke Of The Day: Dentist's Dirty Wisdom
A man went to the dental surgeon to have a tooth pulled. The dentist pulls out a freezing needle to give the man. "No way! No needles! I hate needles!" the patient said. The dentist starts to hook up the laughing gas and the man again objects. "I can't do the gas thing - the thought of having the gas mask on is...
Hilarious Dirty Mind Joke: Old Man's Visit To A Fertility Doctor
A 75-year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said,.. "Take this jar home and bring me back a sample tomorrow." The next day, the 75-year old man reappears at the doctor's office and gives him the jar,.. which is as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor...
Hilarious Naughty & Short Non Veg Dirty Jokes: Smile Please 18+
Marry and make a woman happy OR remain a bachelor and make several women happy! A pregnant lady went to an astrologer. Astrologer: When u delivers a baby, baby's father will die. Lady: Thank God! My husband is safe! There are only 5 things we need in life: Good friends, Good job, Good food, Good sleep & Good _UCK. Whatever u are thinking... is right. A cute Nurse came 4 the...
One day, there were two boys playing by a stream. One boy went over to the bush to check out some noises. He pointed out a woman bathing naked in the steam. So, both boys decided to stay and watch her. All of a sudden the second boy took off running. The first boy couldn't understand why he ran away, so he took off after...
Best Joke: On His Birthday, A Man Named Peter Was Really Upset
On his Birthday,... A man named Peter was really upset because none of his family members or near and dear ones wished him. As he walked into his office,... His secretary Anna said,... "Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!" He felt a bit better knowing that at least someone remembered. In the lunch time Anna knocked on his door and said,... "You know,...
Short Dirty Doctor Joke Of The Day: Won't You Kiss Me, Doctor?
"Won't you kiss me, doctor," asks a beautiful woman. "No, it would be against my code of ethics," says the doctor. "Please just one kiss," begs the woman. "It's completely out of the question," he goes on. * * * * * * * * * * * * "I shouldn't even really be having sex with you."
Hilarious Short Non Veg Dirty Joke: Naughty Dentist VS Nervous Woman
A nervous young lady sat on a dentist's chair to get her tooth extracted,.. Seeing too many instruments she got frightened. "Doctor, I would much rather have a baby than my tooth pulled out." The dentist retorted : * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * "Well make up your mind, ... so that I can adjust the chair accordingly".
Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the...
Hilarious Dirty Joke: Teacher v/s Little Johnny In Maths Class
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun,... How many would be left?" "None," replied Johnny, "Cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking." Little Johnny...
Hilarious Dirty Golf Joke Of The Day: Man Takes A Week Off Work
A man takes a week off work and decides to play a round of golf every day. First thing Monday morning, he sets off and soon finds himself catching up with a stunning woman playing in front of him. He suggests that they play against each other for the rest of the day and she agrees. The woman proves to be very...
Hilarious Bad Joke Of The Day: Perception of Husband & Wife
Two women are chatting in office. Woman 1: I had $ex last night, did you? Woman 2: Yes. Woman 1: Was it good? Woman 2: No, it was a disaster... My husband came home, ate his dinner in three minutes, got on top of me, finished having $ex in five minutes, rolled over and fell asleep in two minutes. How was yours? Woman 1: Oh it was...
Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched with horror as her ball headed directly towards a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of them and he immediately fell to the ground clutching his hands together to his groin, rolling around in obvious agony. The woman rushed over and immediately began to apologize. "Please allow me...
Bad Joke Of The Day: Couple Were Waiting Their 16 Year Old Son
A couple were sitting up waiting for their 16 year old son to come home from a social engagement,.. when the boy came into the house with a big smile on his face. "Hi, Mum! Hi, Dad! he said breathlessly,.. "Guess what! I've just had sex for the first time, and it was wonderful!" His mother turned red and said to her husband,.. "He's...
Hilarious Dirty Lawyer Best Joke Of The Day: Certain Things In Life
The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 40s or early 50s. "May I help you?" she asked. "I want to see Valerie," the man replied. "Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else," said the madam. "No. I must see Valerie," was the man's reply. Just...