Thursday, January 24, 2019
Most Hilarious Dirty Non Veg Army Joke Of The Day: Heriditary
Two brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their physicals. During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both of them possessed incredibly long, oversized penises. "How do you account for this?" he asked the brothers. "It's hereditary, sir," the older one replied. "I see," said the doctor, writing in his file. "Your father's the reason for your elongated penises?" "No sir, our...
Hilarious New Joke Of The Day: Who is Doctor's Best Patient?
Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients on the operating table. The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded." The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside...
Hilarious Short Non Veg Dirty Joke: Naughty Dentist VS Nervous Woman
A nervous lady sat on a dentist's chair to get her tooth extracted, seeing too many instruments she got frightened. "Doctor, I would much rather have a baby than my tooth pulled out." The dentist retorted : * * * * * * * "Well make up your mind, ... so that I can adjust the chair accordingly".
Hilarious Dirty Mind Joke: Old Man's Visit To A Fertility Doctor
A 75-year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said,.. "Take this jar home and bring me back a sample tomorrow." The next day, the 75-year old man reappears at the doctor's office and gives him the jar,.. which is as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor...
Best Hilarious Famous Doctor VS Car Mechanic Joke: Marvelous Answer
A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon in his shop,.. who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at his car. The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hello Doctor! Please come over here for a minute." The famous surgeon, a...
Hilarious Clean Doctor Humor Joke: The Expensive Veterinarian Bill
A man rushes his limp dog to the veterinarian. The doctor pronounces the dog dead. The agitated man demands a second opinion. The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat. The cat sniffs the body and meows. The vet says, "I'm sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead, too." The man is still unwilling to accept that...
Medical Humour Joke: Doctor's Best Of Friend Patient & His Will
The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said: "Since we are the best of friends,.. I would not want to insult you by offering payment. But I would like for you to know that I had mentioned you in my will." "That is very kind of you," said the doctor emotionally,.. and then added,.. "Can I see that prescription I just gave you? ......
Hilarious Non Veg Joke: Young Man Asked Doctor For Virginity Test
A young man was planning to get married,.. and asked his doctor how he could tell if his bride is a virgin. The doctor said, "Well, you need three things,.. A can of red paint, a can of blue paint and a shovel.." The man was astonished and asked, "So what do I do with these?" The doctor replied: "Before the wedding night,.. you paint...
Husband Wife Joke: Doctor, Woman & Green Tea Placebo Effect
A woman goes to the doctor, beaten black and blue... Doctor: "What happened?" Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do,.. Every time my husband comes home drunk he beats me to a pulp...." Doctor: "I have a real good medicine against that: When your husband comes home drunk, just take a glass of green tea and start swirling it in your mouth. Don't drink it,...
Hilarious Dumb Joke: Stupid Patient Stung By A Bee Joke
Patient: Please doctor help me. I have been stung by a bee. Doctor: Don't worry. I'll put some cream on it. Patient: You'll never find the bee. It must be miles away by now. Doctor: No No please understand. I'll put some cream on the place u were stung. Patient: Oh! it happened in the garden where I was sitting under a tree. Doctor:...
Joke Of The Day: Son & Mothers Talking Parrot Reading Bible Gift
Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers and prospered. Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who lived far away in another city. The first said, "I had a big house built for Mama." The second said, "I had a hundred thousand dollar...
Hilarious Dirty Joke: Blonde Patient's Normal Life After An Operation
A surgeon went to check on his very blonde patient after an operation. She was awake, so he examined her thoroughly and told her that she could expect a complete recovery. She asked him, "How long will it be before I can resume a normal $ex life again, Doctor?" The surgeon seemed to pause, which alarmed the girl. "What's the matter, Doctor? I will...
Hilarious Best Joke Of The Day: Smart Engineer Vs Doctor
An Engineer was unemployed for a long time. He could not find a job so he opened a medical clinic and puts a sign up outside: "Get your treatment for $500, if not treated get back $1,000." One Doctor thinks this is a good opportunity to earn $1,000 and goes to his clinic. Doctor: "I have lost taste in my mouth." Engineer: "Nurse, please...
Dumb Joke Of The Day: Who Are the Smartest People in the World?
A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and then he bailed...
Joke Of The Day: Doctor's Advice Gets Old Woman in Big Trouble
An elderly lady went to the doctor and asked for his help in reviving her husband's passion. "Why don't you give him Vi*gra?" the doctor asked. "Oh, no," the woman replied. "He doesn't even take aspirin for a headache!" "That's not a problem," the doctor told her. "Just crush up the pill and slip it into his coffee. He'll never even know." Several days later,...
Hilarious Pregnancy Joke: Congratulations! You're The Father Of Quadruplets
Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies. A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, "Congratulations! You're the father of twins." "That's odd," answers the man. "I work for the Minnesota Twins." A nurse says to the second guy, "Congratulations! You're the father of of triplets." "That's weird," answers the second man. "I work for the 3M company." A...
Stupid Joke: Elderly Man Tells Doctor His 20-Year-Old Bride Is Pregnant
The doctor asked the old man how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old said, "Things are great, and I've never felt better! I now have a 20-year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that, doctor?" The doctor considered the question for a minute, and then began to tell a story. "I have an older friend, much like you,...
Joke Of The Day: Introducing The New Doctor To The Community
A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older doctor suggested the young one accompany him on his rounds so the community could become used to a new doctor. At the first house a woman complained, "I've been a little sick to my stomach." The older doctor said, "Well, you've probably been overdoing the...
Hilarious Joke: A Doctor And His Wife Having A Big Argument
A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. Things in the bedroom hadn't been good for a while, so they were going at it over that. "You aren't so good in bed either!" he shouted and stormed off to work. He began his working day, and didn't hear a peep from his wife. By mid-morning, he decided to make amends and phoned...
Funny Old Man Joke: I Need Doctor's Prescription To Sleep With My Wife
The medics rushed Mr. Sol Steinberg to the hospital in the middle of the night, apparently due to a massive heart attack. The doctors work on him all night and morning and finally discharge him to the Intensive Care Unit, where therapy continues. After a couple of days, Mr. Steinberg's physician comes into his room and says, "Sol, I'm happy to tell...
Funny Animal Joke: Woman Gets Terrible News From Her Pet Duck's Vet
A woman brought a very limp duck to a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, Ma'am, but your duck, Cuddles, has passed away." The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am...
Stupid Joke: Blonde Walks Into A Doctors Office
Blonde walks into a doctors office and says: "Doctor, what's the problem with me? When I touch my arm, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my leg, ouch! it hurts... When I touch my head, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my chest, ouch! it really hurts!" . . . . . . . . . . . The Doctor replies: "Your finger is broken."
An 80 year old man was having his annual checkup and the doctor asked him how he was feeling. "I've never been better!" he boasted. "I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?" The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy...
Dentist Joke: This Guy Can't Stop Washing His Hands
A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands. He then takes off his trousers and washes his hands again. The girl has been watching him and says, "You must be a dentist." The guy, surprised,...
A three year old walked over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office. He inquisitively ask the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?" She replied, "I'm having a baby." With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?" She said, "He sure is." Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?" She said, "Oh,...
A woman is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds." When the woman returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds. "Wow, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my...
An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on...