Wednesday, January 23, 2019
An Irishman walks into a bar in London, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it," the bartender tells him, "and it would...
Three drunken guys entered a taxi after a heavy night of drinking. Immediately realizing that the men were inebriated, he quickly thought up a plan to get rid of them. He started the engine, turned it off again and said: "We have reached your destination". "Alright pal, here you go," said the first guy as he gave him the money. The second guy...
3 guys go to hell, when they get there they meet the devil, who tells them there's a way to get to heaven. The Devil explains that behind 3 doors are tasks that they must each complete, in whatever order they want, to go to heaven. Door 1 is a room with 10 (v)irg#in ladies, the task is to make them...
Hilarious Joke: A Good Bar Joke That Always Makes Women Laugh
Jack woke up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas party. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he as feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he saw was couple of aspirins next to a glass of water...
"I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig." "Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears. "Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd cry. I can't stand to see a man crying." "This is...
A blind man enters a bar and find his way to a barstool. After ordering a drink, and sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet. In a husky, deep voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartender...
A blonde redneck guy finds a lamp. He rubs it and a genie emerges. The genie tells him he will be granted three wishes. The guy thinks for a moment and says, 'First, give me a bottomless mug of beer.' A mug of beer appears in his hand. He sips it once, then again and the mug is magically refilled. The guy is thrilled and continues...
A man walks into a watering hole with a large box and takes a seat at the bar. The bartender, curious, asks, "What's in the box?" The man says, "I'll show you if you get me a free beer." So the bartender gets the man a beer. The man drinks it, then pulls out a minuscule little man and a matching piano. The little...
Short Humorous Joke: Drunk Husband Gets Late Night Education
Drunk Husband was brought into night court,.. having been picked up on suspicion of being the notorious night prowler. "What were you doing out at 3 A.M.?" the judge sternly queried Husband. "I was going to a lecture." answered Husband "A lecture at 3 A.M.?" The judge was scornful. "Oh, sure," said Husband. * * * * * "Sometimes my wife stays up longer than that just to lecture me."
Hilarious Clean English Joke: Police Officers & Drunk Old Woman
Two police officers saw an old woman staggering out a local bar, stopping her they can tell she has had far too much to drink,... and instead of taking her to jail they decide to just drive her home. They loaded her into the police cruiser one of the officers gets in the back with the drunk woman. As they drove through the...