Tuesday, October 22, 2019
Hilarious Good Marriage Humor Joke: Old Woman v/s Sons-in-law
Joke Title: Test An old woman had 3 daughters. One day she decided to test her Sons-in-law. One day she was walking along a lakeshore with the first son-in-law. Purposefully, she fell down in the lake and started yelling for help. The first son-in-law jumped into the water and dragged her out into the shore. The next day he found a brand new E Class...
Good Husband Wife Comedy Joke Of The Day: Hearing Problem
An elderly man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about...
Hilarious Comedy Elderly Joke Of The Day: 3 Old Age Guys
"Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old man. "You always feel like you have to pee and most of the time you stand there and nothing comes out." "Ah, that's nothing," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy, you don't have a bowel movement any more. You take laxatives, eat bran, sit on the toilet all day and nothing' comes...
Best Hilarious Dirty Comedy Joke: 85 Year Old Grandpa Vs Viagra
A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandpa in the hospital. "How are you grandpa?" he asks. "Feeling fine," says the old man. "What's the food like?" "Terrific, wonderful menus." "And the nursing?" "Just couldn't be better. The young nurses really take care of you." "What about sleeping? Do you sleep OK?" "No problem at all -- nine hours solid every night. At 10 o'clock they bring...
Hilarious Best Joke Of The Day: Elderly Women & Speed Limit
A Police Officer was waiting along the side of a highway waiting to catch speeding drivers. There weren't as many violators this day as usual. The State Police Officer sees an old car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the...
Hilarious Good Comedy Old Biker Joke Of The Day: Hand Job
A crusty old age biker, on a summer ride in the country, walks into a tavern and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads: CHEESEBURGER: $1.50 CHICKEN SANDWICH: $2.50 HAND JOB: $1000 Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive female bartender serving drinks to a meager looking group of farmers. "Yes?"...
Hilarious Grandma Vs Doctor Dirty Joke: Baby's First Clinic Visit
A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room,... waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam. The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight,.. and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed? "Breast-fed," she replied. "Well, strip down to your waist," the doctor ordered. She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded,...
Hilarious Short Naughty Joke: 80 Year Old Man In Confession
An elderly man goes into confession and says to the priest, "Father, I'm 80 years old, married, have four kids and 11 grandchildren. I started taking this new Viagra pill, and last night I had an affair and made love to two 18-year-old girls. and,... Both of them with. Twice." The priest said: "Well, my son, when was the last time you were...
Hilarious Bar Joke Of The Day: A Smart Guy VS Old Drunkard
Joke Title: How Old Am I? A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I want you to give me 12-year scotch, and don't try to fool me because I can tell the difference." The bartender is skeptical and decides to try to trick the man with 5-year scotch. The man takes a sip, scowls and says, "Bartender, this crap is...
Hilarious Naughty Old Man Joke Of The Day: Elderly Man's Confession
An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues: Man: "I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them three times." Priest: "Are you sorry for your sins?" Man: "What sins? " Priest: "What kind...
Hilarious Naughty Grandparents Joke: Grandpa With No Pants
A man came to visit his grandparents, and he noticed,.. His grandfather sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, wearing only a shirt, with nothing on from the waist down. "Grandpa, what are you doing? Your weenie is out in the wind for everyone to see!" he exclaimed. The old man looked off in the distance without answering. "Grandpa, what are you...
Smart Grandma In Hospital Best Joke: How To Keep Yourself Informed
A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph's Hospital, And she timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?" The operator responded, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the patient's name and room number?" The grandmother in her weak tremulous voice said, "Norma Findlay, Room 302." The operator replied, "Let me place you on hold while I check...
Best Hilarious Old Man Marriage Joke Of The Day: The Old Motor
The marriage of an 80 year old man and a 20 year old woman was the talk of the town. After being married a year, the couple went to the hospital for the birth of their first child. The attending nurse came out of the delivery room to congratulate the old gentleman and said, "This is amazing. How do you do it...
Hilarious Old Geezer Joke: An Old Man & The Neighbor's Kid
An ugly old man in Mississippi was sitting on his front porch watching the sun rise. He sees the neighbor's kid walk by carrying something big under his arm. He yells out "Hey boy, whatcha got there?" Boy yells back "Roll of chicken wire." Old man says "What you gonna do with that?" Boy says "Gonna catch some chickens." Old man yells "You damn fool,...
Hilarious Clean Joke Of The Day: Young Man And Grandfather
Joke Title: Cold Water A young man went to his grandfather's place to stay for the weekend. He was sitting down to lunch when he noticed that the spoons and forks were encrusted in a thin filmy substance. He asked his grandfather, "Are you sure you washed it properly?" "As clean as cold water can get it." was the reply. So the young man shrugged...
Hilarious Old Man VS Young Man Best Joke: The Generation Gap
A very self-important college freshman attending a recent football game,.. ...Took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation. "You grew up in a different world, actually an almost primitive one!" The student said, loud enough for many of those nearby to hear. "The young people...
Best Naughty Joke Of The Day: Old Men Are Fast Thinkers Beware
One old farmer had a large pond in the back,.. fixed up nicely with picnic tables, a barbecue pit, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built. One evening, the old guy decided to go down to the pond and look it over. He hadn't been there for a...
Hilarious Elderly Joke Of The Day: Husband Scolds His Wife For Forgetting
While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant, and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table, and she din't miss them until they had been driving about forty minutes. By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to...
Grandpa & Grandma Cute Joke Of The Day: Good Old Days
Grandpa and Grandma always got very excited when they recalled the old days they were together. They made a decision, one day to make it,.. "yesterday once more". They made a date on the riverbank they used to go when they were young. The next day, Grandpa got up 6 a.m. in the morning, dashed to the bank, picked up a big bunch of...
Hilarious Comedy Joke Of The Day: Umbrella Thief
An elderly man gave all of his seven umbrellas for repair at one time,... And told the shopkeeper he would pick it up in the evening while back from work. On the way to work in Bus, out of habit he grabbed the umbrella of the woman sitting next to him,... Got up and started walking. The woman started yelled, "Umbrella thief, Umbrella...
Hilarious Older Couple Joke: Romantic Night After 50 Years
An older couple was lying in bed one night. The husband was falling a sleep, but the wife felt romantic and wanted to talk. She said, "You use to hold my hand when we were courting." Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second, and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said, "Then you used to...
Really Funny Clean Old Age Joke Of The Day: Shameless Visitor
The Grandmother of a just got married grandson phoned that he was coming to present his beautiful lovely wife to grandma. The delighted Grandma started giving instructions how to come to their high rise colony retirement Apartment. She started blabbering, "When you come to the front door of the apartment building inside vestibule, My son there is a push button, push it with...
Hilarious Elderly Clean Marriage Humor Joke: 40 Years Together Couple
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the dining room table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear...
Joke Of The Day: Old Lady Asked Her Best Friend For A Favor
Two 90-year-old women, Bertha and Betty, had been best friends all of their lives. When it was clear that Bertha was dying, Betty visited her every day. One day Betty said,.. "Bertha, we both loved playing softball all our lives, and we played all through high school. Please do me one favor: When you get to heaven, somehow you must let me know...
Hilarious Comedy Joke: A Man Is Talking To The Family Doctor
A man is talking to the family doctor:,.. "Doctor, I think my wife is going deaf." The doctor answers:,.. "Well, here's something you can try on her to test her hearing. Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question. If she doesn't answer, move a little closer and ask again. Keep repeating this until she answers. Then you'll be able to tell just...
Old Age Humor: Dying Man Thought His Wife Baked Him Cookies
An old man was lying in his death bed upstairs. His most favorite food in the world was chocolate chip cookies. As he lay there, gasping for each breath,... He was sure he could smell freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies. He crawled out of bed and slowly limped down the stairs. Sure enough, across the kitchen,... There was a huge platter of chocolate chip cookies on...
Joke Of The Day: Elderly Couple Was Just Settled Down For Bed
An elderly couple was just settled down for bed,... When the old man realized he left the lights on in the greenhouse in the back yard. Then they heard voices. Three men had broken into the greenhouse. Scared, they called the police. The dispatcher replied,... He would send an officer as soon as one became available as they were all out on calls. The old man...