Tuesday, June 25, 2019
Hilarious School Joke Of The Day: Little Johnny v/s Science Class
In a school science class four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol. The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a jar of sperm. The fourth worm was put into a jar of soil. After one day, these were the results: 1) The first worm...
Best Hilarious Family Joke: Teacher v/s Kid's Moral Of The Story
A teacher told her young class to ask their parents for a family story with a moral at the end of it, and to return the next day to tell their stories. In the classroom the next day, Joe gave his example First, "My dad is a farmer and we have chickens. One Day we were taking lots of eggs to market in...
Hilarious Clean Marriage Humor Joke: How To Become A Dad?
I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that. "Why?" my daughter asked. "Because it's been on the ground, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty, and probably has germs." I...
Hilarious Innocent Birthday Gift Joke: Confessions Of Little Johnny
Little Johnny came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted. "Mom, I want a bike for my birthday." Little Johnny was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Johnny's mother asked him if he...
Hilariously Cute Pregnancy Joke Of The Day: Height of Innocence
A three-year-old walked up to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office. He inquisitively asked the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?" She replied, "I'm having a baby." With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?" She answered, "He sure is." Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?" She said, "Oh,...
Hilarious Bad Joke Of The Day: Little Johnny & Sunday School
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?" When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "God Almighty!" shouted Mary and the teacher...
Hilarious Husband Wife Joke Of The Day: Little Johnny Called Daddy
A woman wanted to reach her husband on his mobile phone but discovered that she was out of credit, She instructed her son Little Johnny to use his own phone to pass across an urgent message to his daddy who was on site. After Little Johnny had called, he got back to mummy to inform her that there was a lady that...
Best Dirty Joke Of The Day: Little Johnny & Valentine's Day
Valentine's Day was quickly approaching and Little Johnny was anxious to receive and give Valentine cards during his classroom party,.. Mainly because there were two girls he was particularly very fond of. The rest of his class received the usual "store bought" cheap Valentines that read cutesy "Be Mines",.. But he took special care and time in hand-making two special cards for...
Little Johnny Vs Sunday School Teacher Joke: Making Bad Faces
Finding one of her student Little Johnny making faces at others on the playground,.. Ms. Smith stopped to gently scold the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, "Johnny, when I was a child, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." Johnny looked up and replied, * * * * * * * * * * "Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't...
Hilarious Best Joke For Today: Little Johnny & Teacher's Famous Quotes
It was the end of the school day and all of the kids were anxious to go home. The teacher told the kids, "As soon as you can name the speaker of a famous quote you may leave. O.K,... Who said four score and seven years ago?" Johnny lifts his hand in excitement. "Yes, Johnny?" But before he could answer, Lucy jumped in and said...
Hilarious Animal Joke Of The Day: Old Elephant vs Bad Little Boy
There was a guy who bought an elderly circus elephant; Alas, he couldn't afford to feed it. He'd never seen an elephant jump with all 4 feet off the ground. So he started a contest: entry was $10, and the first person to get the elephant to jump with all 4 feet off the ground would get $50,000. All sorts of people...
Hilarious Bad Joke Of The Day: Dad, Baby & Cup Of Tea
One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me. I was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident. Someone had given me a little "tea set" as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys. Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought...
Hilarious Cute Joke Of The Day: Innocence Babies At Its Best
Two babies were sitting in their cribs, when one baby shouted to the other, "Are you a little girl or a little boy?" "I don't know," replied the other baby giggling. "What do you mean, you don't know?" said the first baby. "I mean I don't know how to tell the difference," was the reply. "Well, I do," said the first baby chuckling, "I'll...
Hilarious Naughty Joke Of The Day: Dad, Secretary & Little Daughter
Joke Title: Doll A man comes home with his little daughter, whom he has just taken to work. The little girl asks, "I saw you in your office with your secretary. Why do you call her a doll?" Feeling his wife's gaze upon him, the man explains, "Well, honey, my secretary is a very hard-working girl. She types like you wouldn't believe, she knows the computer system and...
Best Comedy Clean Innocent Joke: Two Good Children In A Clinic
Joke Title: Two Tests Two children were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying very loudly. 2nd Child: Why are you crying? 1st Child: I came here for blood test. 2nd Child: So? Are you afraid? 1st Child: No. Not that. For the blood test, they cut my finger. At this, the second one started crying. The first one was astonished. 1st Child: Why are you...
Little Johnny v/s Maths Teacher Joke: New Generation Student
Math Teacher: Johnny, Tell me, If you have 12 chocolates and,... You give 5 to Sophia, 3 to Emma and, 4 to Isabella, Then what will you get? Little Johnny says: * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * "3 New Girlfriends Mam...!!!"
Best Hilarious Joke Of The Day: Good Boss V/S Bad Little Kid
Joke Title: Kids Too Much A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, He dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper. "Hello?" "Is your daddy home?" he asked. "Yes," whispered the small voice. "May I talk with him?" The child whispered, "No." Surprised and...
Little Johnny v/s School Teachers & Parents: Hilarious Clean Jokes
Teacher: If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got? Little Johnny: Seven! Teacher: No, listen carefully again. If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got? Little Johnny: Seven! Teacher: Let's try this another way. If I give you two apples and two apples...
Hilarious Dad Joke: One Day A 12-Year-Old Boy Was Walking
One day a 12-year-old boy was walking down the street,... When a car pulled up beside him and the driver lowered a window. "I'll give you a large bag of M&Ms if you get in the car,"... Said the driver. "No way! Get lost!" Replied the boy. "How about a bag of M&Ms and 10 dollars?" The driver asked. "I said no way," Replied the boy again. "What about...
Clean Hilarious Marriage Parenting Joke: Human Race Creation Or Evolution
A little girl asked her father: "How did the human race appear?" The father answered: "God made Adam and Eve; they had children; and so was all mankind made." Two days later the girl asked her mother the same question. The mother answered: "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved." The confused girl returned to her father and said: "Dad, how is...
Rude Insulting Joke: A Stranger Was Seated Next To Little Johnny On The Plane
A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the stranger turned to the Little Johnny and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, "What would you like to discuss?" "Oh,...
Hilarious Joke: A Church Matron Cooking Some Beans
One of the matrons of the church was cooking a pot of her famous beans for the church potluck. Her son, Little Johnny,... Came running through the house, BB gun in one hand, and a handful of BBs in the other. He tripped and the BBs, naturally, went right into the pot of beans. Thinking it over,... Little Johnny could think of no reason...
Small Joke For Kids: New Teacher, Little Johnny And Psychology Course
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds,... Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said,... "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" Little Johnny said:,... * * * * * * * * * * "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
Good Clean Joke For Kids: 2 Twins Changing Their Name
There are a pair of twins called Ving and Ling. Ving decided to go to the town hall to change his name. Ling decided to give him a lift there. When they arrived Ling reminded Ving that he would disgrace their family if he changed his name to Lee. Ving takes a form and quickly fills it out to change his name. He sends...
Hilarious Political Comedy Joke: George Bush v/s School Kids
George Bush goes to a primary school to talk about the war. After his talk, he offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and George asked: "What is your name?" Boy: "Bob." George: "And what is your question, Bob?" Bob: "I have 3 questions." "First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?" "Second, why are you president when...
Dad, Little Boy & Pilot On Plane: Clean Hilarious Joke Of The Day
Joke Title: A to Z...!! An airplane is flying over the United States at night. The pilot says: "Ladies and Gentlemen, the plane is losing altitude and all the baggage must be thrown out." A little later, the pilot says: "We're still losing altitude, we must throw anything out that is in the cabin". The plane continues its descent despite more things being thrown out. Pilot:...
Hilarious Best Money Joke Of The Day: Dad, Kid & Choked Coin
Joke Title: Cough It Up A dad walks into a market with his young son. The kid is holding One money coin. Suddenly, the boy starts choking and gasping for breath. The dad realizes the boy has swallowed the coin and starts panicking, shouting for help. A well dressed, attractive, but serious looking woman in a blue business suit is sitting at a Tea...