Friday, February 15, 2019
Little Johnny Vs Sunday School Teacher Joke: Making Bad Faces
Finding one of her student Little Johnny making faces at others on the playground,.. Ms. Smith stopped to gently scold the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, "Johnny, when I was a child, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." Johnny looked up and replied, * * * * * * * * * * "Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't...
Hilarious Husband Wife Joke Of The Day: Little Johnny Called Daddy
A woman wanted to reach her husband on his mobile phone but discovered that she was out of credit, She instructed her son Little Johnny to use his own phone to pass across an urgent message to his daddy who was on site. After Little Johnny had called, he got back to mummy to inform her that there was a lady that...
Hilarious Innocent Birthday Gift Joke: Confessions Of Little Johnny
Little Johnny came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted. "Mom, I want a bike for my birthday." Little Johnny was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Johnny's mother asked him if he...
Hilarious Clean Marriage Humor Joke: How To Become A Dad?
I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that. "Why?" my daughter asked. "Because it's been on the ground, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty, and probably has germs." I...
Hilarious Bad Joke Of The Day: Little Johnny & Sunday School
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?" When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "God Almighty!" shouted Mary and the teacher...
Hilarious Clean Religious Joke Of The Day: Daddy's Scribbles
Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, and they give him $50." The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100." The third boy says, * * * * * * * * "I...
Hilariously Cute Pregnancy Joke Of The Day: Height of Innocence
A three-year-old walked up to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office. He inquisitively asked the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?" She replied, "I'm having a baby." With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?" She answered, "He sure is." Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?" She said, "Oh,...
Best Dirty Joke Of The Day: Little Johnny & Valentine's Day
Valentine's Day was quickly approaching and Little Johnny was anxious to receive and give Valentine cards during his classroom party,.. mainly because there were two girls he was particularly very fond of. The rest of his class received the usual "store bought" cheap Valentines that read cutesy "Be Mines",.. but he took special care and time in hand-making two special cards for...
Hilarious Clean Family Joke: Mom, Dad & Little Girl's Question
Joke Title: Origin A little girl asked her mother: How did the human race appear? The mother answered: "God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so was all mankind made." Two days later she asks her father the same question. The father answered: "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race was developed." The confused girl returns to her mother and...
Hilarious Bad Joke Of The Day: Little Girl v/s Pregnancy
Joke Title: Come let us A ten year old girl rushes to her grandmother and asks her, "Can I be pregnant?" Grandmother, "Are you fooling. You can not be pregnant. Go and play out side." The girl then goes to grandfather and asks him the same question and the reply also is the same. The girl goes to her father with the same question...
Hilarious Bad Joke Of The Day: Dad, Baby & Cup Of Tea
One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me. I was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident. Someone had given me a little "tea set" as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys. Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought...
Hilarious Joke For Kids: Innocent Farm Boy & Mighty Neighbor
Joke Title: Pa Won't Like It A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and yelled over to the boy, "Hey Willis, forget your troubles. Come in and visit with us. I'll help you get the wagon up later." "That's mighty nice of you," Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to." "Aw...
Hilarious Naughty Joke Of The Day: Dad, Secretary & Little Daughter
Joke Title: Doll A man comes home with his little daughter, whom he has just taken to work. The little girl asks, "I saw you in your office with your secretary. Why do you call her a doll?" Feeling his wife's gaze upon him, the man explains, "Well, honey, my secretary is a very hard-working girl. She types like you wouldn't believe, she knows the computer system and...
Hilarious Best Joke For Today: Little Johnny & Teacher's Famous Quotes
It was the end of the school day and all of the kids were anxious to go home. The teacher told the kids, "As soon as you can name the speaker of a famous quote you may leave. O.K,... Who said four score and seven years ago?" Johnny lifts his hand in excitement. "Yes, Johnny?" But before he could answer, Lucy jumped in and said...
Hilarious Cute Joke Of The Day: Innocence Babies At Its Best
Two babies were sitting in their cribs, when one baby shouted to the other, "Are you a little girl or a little boy?" "I don't know," replied the other baby giggling. "What do you mean, you don't know?" said the first baby. "I mean I don't know how to tell the difference," was the reply. "Well, I do," said the first baby chuckling, "I'll...
Clean Hilarious Marriage Parenting Joke: Human Race Creation Or Evolution
A little girl asked her father: "How did the human race appear?" The father answered: "God made Adam and Eve; they had children; and so was all mankind made." Two days later the girl asked her mother the same question. The mother answered: "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved." The confused girl returned to her father and said: "Dad, how is...
Cute Joke For Kids: Little Johnny Asked Mother For Dad's Baldness
Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning and got to thinking about things. "Mommy, mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs on his head?".. he asked his mother. "He thinks a lot,".. replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming up with a good answer to her husband's baldness. Or she was until Little Johnny thought for a second and asked, * * * * * * "So why do you...
Hilarious Best Jokes For Kids: Children, School & Spelling Humor
My son, Johnny, a kindergartner, practices spelling with magnetic letters on the refrigerator: "cat", "dog", "dad", and "mom" have been proudly displayed for all to see. One morning, while getting ready for the day, Mitchell bounded into the room with his arms outstretched. In his hands were three magnetic letters: "G - O - D." "Look what I spelled, Mom!" Mitch exclaimed, with...
Hilarious Short Joke For Kids: Little Boy, Pastor & Way To Heaven
A little boy was waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery store. While he was waiting,.. a man came to him and asked, "Son, can you tell me what is the way to the Post Office here?" The little boy replied,.. "Sure! Just go straight down this street a couple of blocks and turn to your right." The man thanked the boy...
Hilarious Innocent Jokes For Kids: Pastor Ask Boys Where is God?
There were two young brothers, 8 and 10 years old, who were exceedingly mischievous. Whatever went wrong in the neighborhood, it turned out they had a hand in it. Their parents were at their wits' end trying to control them. Hearing about a pastor nearby who worked with delinquent boys, the mother suggested to her husband that she would ask the pastor...
Hilarious Bad Joke: Little Girl & Father's Sudden Bizarre Knowledge
A little girl runs out to the backyard where her father is working and asks him,... "Daddy what's sex?" Her father sits her down and tells her all about the birds and the bees. He tells her about conception, sexual intercourse, sperms and eggs. He goes on to tell her about puberty, menstruation, erection, wet-dreams... and he thinks, what the hell, and goes on...
Best Joke Of The Day: Lawyer Versus The Naughty Little Boy
A lawyer is trying to call his clients. The phone rings and their little boy, in a whisper, says, "Hello." Lawyer: "Is your mommy there?" Boy: (whisper) "Yes." Lawyer: "Can I speak with her?" Boy: (whisper) "She's busy." Lawyer: "Is your daddy there?" Boy: (whisper) "Yes." Lawyer: "Can I speak with him?" Boy: (whisper) "He's busy." Lawyer: "Is there anyone else there?" Boy: (whisper) "The fire department." Lawyer: "Can I talk...
Dumb Joke Of The Day: Who Are the Smartest People in the World?
A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and then he bailed...
Hilarious Pregnancy Joke: Congratulations! You're The Father Of Quadruplets
Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies. A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, "Congratulations! You're the father of twins." "That's odd," answers the man. "I work for the Minnesota Twins." A nurse says to the second guy, "Congratulations! You're the father of of triplets." "That's weird," answers the second man. "I work for the 3M company." A...
Hilarious Joke: Two Misbehaving Boys Was Sent To A Preacher
Jimmy and Matty, ages 8 and 4, were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew if any mischief occurred in their town, the two boys were probably involved. The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but...
Hilarious Family Joke: Woman Tried To Impress Guests At Dinner
A family was having some neighbors over for a dinner party. Everything was going swimmingly. Annabelle and her family were charming and fun, the guests were entertained, the appetizers were delicious. Even the house was spotless. Finally, the time came for everyone to gather at the dinner table for the promised meal. At the table, Annabelle turned to Lizzie, her six-year-old daughter, and in...
Funny Joke Of The Day: A Teacher And Little Johnny In The Class
A teacher said to her class, "Right, I'm going to hold something under the desk and I want you to guess it. This one is round and red." Little Johnny's hand shot up, but he was ignored. "It's a plum miss," said a girl. "No it's an apple, but I like your thinking. The next one is oval shaped and green." The teacher ignored Little Johnny...