Saturday, June 6, 2020
A Chinese doctor can't find a job in a Hospital in the US, so he opens his own clinic and puts up a sign outside. It reads: 'GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100.' An American lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic. Lawyer: 'I have lost my sense of...
Hilarious Dirty Lawyer Best Joke Of The Day: Certain Things In Life
The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 40s or early 50s. "May I help you?" she asked. "I want to see Valerie," the man replied. "Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else," said the madam. "No. I must see Valerie," was the man's reply. Just...
A woman and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The woman, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy...
A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, "Ribbit. 9- Iron". The man looks around and doesn't see anyone. "Ribbit. 9-Iron." He looks at the frog and...
Hilarious Joke: A Lawyer Had Just Bought A Fancy New Car
A lawyer had just bought a fancy new car,... And was eager to show it off to his colleagues, When an eighteen wheeler came out of nowhere and took off the driver's side door with him standing right there. "NOOO!" he screamed, Because he knew that no matter how good a mechanic tried to fix it, it would never be the same. Finally, a...
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple were involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting they began to wonder; Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter arrived they asked him if they could get married in Heaven. St....
Best Hilarious Comedy Joke: Two Lawyers v/s Pregnant Secretary
Two lawyers had been life long friends: they were partners and shared everything, including their hot-blooded secretary. One day the secretary announced she was pregnant. They told her not to worry and assured her that they would pay all medical costs and would act as co-fathers when the child was born and provide all expenses thereafter. The day of delivery arrived. Both the...
Hilarious Joke: A Police Officer Pulls A Lawyer Over For Speeding
A police officer pulls a lawyer over for speeding. Lawyer: "Is there a problem, officer?" Officer: "Yes, you were speeding." Lawyer: "Ah, okay." Officer: "Can I see your driver's license?" Lawyer: "Well, I'd give it to you if I had one, but I don't." Officer: "You don't have a driver's license?" Lawyer: "Nope. Had it taken away from me 10 years ago when I got caught...
Hilarious Dark Humor Joke Of The Day: Kind Lawyer & Poor Family
One afternoon a Lawyer was driving home,... when he saw a man eating grass by the side of the road "Why are doing that?" the lawyer asked. "I don't have any money for food" the man replied. "Oh, then you must come with me". "But, Sir, I have a wife and five children." "They are all welcome". So the family got in the lawyer's car and...
Hilarious Dark Joke: Lawyer's Funeral And His Loyal Clients
A man is at his lawyer's funeral,.. and is surprised by the turnout for this one man. He turns to the people around him. "Why are you all at this man's funeral?" A man turns towards him and says, "We're all clients." "And you ALL came to pay your respects? How touching." * * * * * "No, we came to make sure he was dead."
Joke Of The Day: The Smart Blonde And The Dumb Lawyer
A blonde and a lawyer were seating next to each other on a flight. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, so she politely says no and turns to the window for a nap. The lawyer insists and explains that the game is easy and very fun. He explains,...
Hilarious Dirty Best Lawyer Joke Of The Day: Getting A Date
There was a loser who couldn't get a date. He went to a bar and asked this one guy how to get a date. The guy said, "It's simple. I just say I'm a lawyer." So the guy went up to a pretty woman and asked her out. After she said "No," he told her that it was probably a good thing because...
A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial. "Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?" he asked. "No sir," the policeman responded, "but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away." "Officer, who provided this description?" "The officer who responded to the scene." "A fellow officer provided the description of this...
Best Joke Of The Day: Lawyer Versus The Naughty Little Boy
A lawyer is trying to call his clients. The phone rings and their little boy, in a whisper, says, "Hello." Lawyer: "Is your mommy there?" Boy: (whisper) "Yes." Lawyer: "Can I speak with her?" Boy: (whisper) "She's busy." Lawyer: "Is your daddy there?" Boy: (whisper) "Yes." Lawyer: "Can I speak with him?" Boy: (whisper) "He's busy." Lawyer: "Is there anyone else there?" Boy: (whisper) "The fire department." Lawyer: "Can I talk...
Best Hilarious Clean Farmer Joke Of The Day: I Am Just Fine
Joke Title: I Am Just Fine Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine,'" asked the lawyer. Farmer Joe responded, "Well. I'll tell you what happened. I had...
Dumb Joke Of The Day: Who Are the Smartest People in the World?
A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and then he bailed...
Hilarious Stupid Wife Joke: I Want A Divorce... Judge: Really?
A judge was interviewing a South Carolina woman regarding her pending divorce and asks, "What are the grounds for your divorce?" "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by." "No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?" "It is made of concrete, brick, and mortar," she responded. "I mean," he continued, "what...
Hilarious Dark Joke Of The Day: Judge Can't Judge Smart Lawyer
A young lawyer was defending a wealthy businessman in a complicated lawsuit. Unfortunately, the evidence was against his client, and he feared the worst. So the lawyer asked the senior partner of the law firm if it would be appropriate to send the judge a box of Havana cigars as bribe. The partner was horrified. "The judge is an honorable man," the partner...
Two lawyers, Jon and Amanpreet, head out for their usual 9 holes of golf. Jon offers Amanpreet a $50 bet. Amanpreet agrees and they're off. They shoot a great game. After the 8th hole, Amanpreet is ahead by one stroke, but cuts his ball into the rough on the 9th. "Help me find my ball. Look over there," he says to Jon. After a few...
Hilarious Comedy Joke Of The Day: Polish Divorce V/S Lawyer
A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect,... They got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances,... And asked him the following questions: L: Have...
Hilarious Joke: Grandma Gets Called To Court – What She Reveals On The Witness Stand Shocks Everyone
In a court trial in a small town in Nebraska, the prosecutor called his first witness, an elderly grandma, to the stand. He walked up to her and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know who I am?" She answered, "Of course I know who you are, Mr. Rawley. I've known you since you were a little boy, and honestly, you're a disappointment. You...
Simple Clean Joke Of The Day: Two Lawyer Friends Playing Golf
Joke Title: Oh, Those Darn Lawyers Two lawyers, Jon and Ethan, head out for their usual 9 holes of golf. Jon offers Ethan a $50 bet. Ethan agrees and they're off. They shoot a great game. After the 8th hole, Ethan is ahead by one stroke, but cuts his ball into the rough on the 9th. "Help me find my ball. Look over there," he...
Joke Of The Day: Son & Mothers Talking Parrot Reading Bible Gift
Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers and prospered. Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who lived far away in another city. The first said, "I had a big house built for Mama." The second said, "I had a hundred thousand dollar...
Hilarious Clean Courtroom Joke Of The Day: Bad Jury Duty
A man was chosen for jury duty who very much wanted to be dismissed from serving. He tried every excuse he could think of but none of them worked. On the day of the trial he decided to give it one more shot. As the trial was about to begin he asked if he could approach the bench. "Your Honour," he said, "I must...
Best Comedy Joke Of The Day: Grandma v/s Lawyers in Court
Lawyers should never ask grandmas a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, an elderly grandmother to the stand. He approached her and asked: "Mrs.. Jones, do you know me?" She responded: "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you're...
Hilarious Best Lawyer Joke Of The Day: Coats Business
Jacob was in coats business, but unfortunately business was very bad. One day his partner James said to him, "What are we going to do with these fifty coats? They're last year's style and even though we've knocked them down to $100 each, we still can't sell any." Jacob replied, "Use your head, James. Price them at $200 and send 10 of...
Hilarious Clean Courtroom Joke Of The Day: Innocent Accused?
A man accused of theft was appearing before the Judge. "Your Honor," his lawyer said, "I feel it is very unfair for my client to be accused of robbery. He is an illegal immigrant, has just arrived in America and is guest in our city. Unable to find his way he roams all around curiously. He came to this country with knowledge of only...