Sunday, January 19, 2020
Clean Office Joke: A Young Programmer & His Project Manager
A young Programmer and his Project Manager board a train,... Headed through the mountains on its way to Wichita. They can find no place to sit except for two seats,.. Right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother. After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young programmer are interested in each other,.. Because they are giving...
Hilarious Good Simple Marriage Joke Of The Day: Jealous Husband
A jealous husband hired a private detective to check on the movements of his wife. The husband wanted more than a written report; he wanted video of his wife's activities. A week later, the detective returned with a video. They sat down together to watch it. Although the quality was less than professional, the man saw his wife meeting another man! He saw the...
Hilarious Joke: A Church Matron Cooking Some Beans
One of the matrons of the church was cooking a pot of her famous beans for the church potluck. Her son, Little Johnny,... Came running through the house, BB gun in one hand, and a handful of BBs in the other. He tripped and the BBs, naturally, went right into the pot of beans. Thinking it over,... Little Johnny could think of no reason...
Hilarious Clean Humor Joke Of The Day: Beggars Of Today
A man walks past a beggar every day and gives him $2.00 and that Continues for a year. Then suddenly the daily donation changes to $1.50 "Well," the beggar thinks, "it's still better than nothing." A year passes in this way until the man's daily donation suddenly becomes $1.00 "What's going on now?" the beggar asks his donor. "First you give me $2.00 every...
Best Hilarious Old Man Marriage Joke Of The Day: The Old Motor
The marriage of an 80 year old man and a 20 year old woman was the talk of the town. After being married a year, the couple went to the hospital for the birth of their first child. The attending nurse came out of the delivery room to congratulate the old gentleman and said, "This is amazing. How do you do it...
Hilarious Joke: Teacher And Principal Asks Jimmy Questions To See If He Can Skip Grades
A second grade teacher was having trouble with one of her student Johnny. One day, she asked Johnny what his problem was. He replied, "I'm too smart for the second grade, my sister is in the fourth grade, and I'm smarter than her too." The teacher took him to the principal's office and explained the situation to the principal. The principal told her...
Hilarious Creepy Marriage Joke Of The Day: Supportive Wife
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, Yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were...
Hilarious Joke: Grandma Gets Called To Court – What She Reveals On The Witness Stand Shocks Everyone
In a court trial in a small town in Nebraska, the prosecutor called his first witness, an elderly grandma, to the stand. He walked up to her and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know who I am?" She answered, "Of course I know who you are, Mr. Rawley. I've known you since you were a little boy, and honestly, you're a disappointment. You...
Clean Marriage Joke Of The Day: Couple At Bank Robbery
Joke Title: No Witness Left A tough bank robber barged into a bank and yelled loudly with a raised gun, "This is a bank robbery, everybody surrender". He quickly rounded up all the customers along with wet-pant bank guard together, then rushed to the teller and asked her to fill up his bag with money, which she did. He then turned to a...
Hilarious Dad Joke: One Day A 12-Year-Old Boy Was Walking
One day a 12-year-old boy was walking down the street,... When a car pulled up beside him and the driver lowered a window. "I'll give you a large bag of M&Ms if you get in the car,"... Said the driver. "No way! Get lost!" Replied the boy. "How about a bag of M&Ms and 10 dollars?" The driver asked. "I said no way," Replied the boy again. "What about...
Hilarious Animals Non Veg Long Dirty Joke: How's Your Day Been Ducks?
This guy walks into a quiet bar. He is carrying three ducks. One in each hand and one under his left arm. He places them on the bar. He has a few drinks and chats with the bartender. The bartender is experienced and has learned not to ask people about the animals that they bring into the bar, so he doesn't mention the ducks. They...
Joke Of The Day: 3 Grandpas Discuss Whose Age Is The Worst
Three older gentlemen sat down at the park for a conversation. "There's no worse age than 70," says the youngest, "You always feel like you have to pee, and most of the time you try and try and nothing comes out!" "Ah, That's nothing," said the 80 year old, "80 is a much worse age. You can't even do your business anymore. You...
Hilarious Joke: Husband Demands A Divorce In Letter To Wife
This is the letter that the man wrote to his wife: Dear Wife, I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today &...
Hilarious Joke: Rabbi, My Wife Is Trying to Poison Me. What Should I Do?
A man goes to see the Rabbi. "Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it." The Rabbi asked, "What"s wrong?" The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me." The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?" The man then pleads, "I"m telling you, I"m certain she"s poisoning me, what should I do?" The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me...
A woman goes into Cabela's to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter. The clerk was standing behind the counter wearing dark glasses. She says to him, "Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?" He says, "Ma'am,...
Three men find themselves at the pearly gates. The men walk up to the gate and St. Peter greets them and says, "You have made it to heaven, now all you have to do is pass the test to see what your fate will be." "What is the test?" One man replied. Peter says, "You must walk through the room of ducks. If...
Hilarious Pakistani Joke Of The Day: Best Business Strategy
Ahmed and Hamid are both beggars at several motorway services in England. Ahmed drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage free house and has a lot of money to spend. Hamid only brings in 2 to 3 pounds a day. Hamid asks Ahmed how he manages to bring home a suitcase full of £10 notes every day. Ahmed says, "Look at your sign." It...
Dirty Joke: Three Men, A Philosopher, A Mathematician & An Idiot
Three men, a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree. Before anyone knows it, the three men found themselves standing before the pearly gates of Heaven,... Where St. Peter and the Devil were standing nearby. "Gentlemen," the Devil started, "Due to the fact that Heaven is now overcrowded, St. Peter has agreed...
Job Interview Clean Good Office Humor Joke: Are You Kidding?
Reaching the end of a job interview,... The Human Resources Person asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?" The Engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $225,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement...
Hilarious Clean Simple Joke Of The Day: Blonde vs Car Sale
Judi tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it because the car had 250,000 miles on the odometer. One day, she told her problem to a friend she worked with at a salon. Her friend told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal." "That doesn't matter," replied Judi, "I...
A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying, "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa." The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye Grandpa?"... The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do" The next day...
Hilarious Dark Joke Of The Day: Best Sniffer Dog in The Plane
A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane,... When another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his black Labrador Retriever in the middle seat next to the man. The first man looks very quizzically at the dog and asks why the dog is allowed on the plane. The second man explained that...
Hilarious Old Age Joke Of The Day: Wife's Hearing Problem
A old man told his doctor, "I don't think my wife's hearing is as good as it used to be. What should I do?" The doctor replied, "Try this test first. When your wife is at the sink doing dishes, stand fifteen feet behind her and ask her a question. If she doesn't respond, keep moving closer, asking the question until she hears you." He went...
While walking down the street one day, a presidential candidate is tragically hit by a car and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. "Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high-ranking official around these parts, you see, so we're...
Hilarious Dirty Joke Of The Day: Country Doctors
A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older gentleman suggested the young one accompany him on his rounds so the community could become used to a new doctor. At the first house a woman complained, "I've been a little sick to my stomach." The older doctor said, "Well, you've probably been overdoing the...
Hilarious Naughty Grandparents Joke: Grandpa With No Pants
A man came to visit his grandparents, and he noticed,.. His grandfather sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, wearing only a shirt, with nothing on from the waist down. "Grandpa, what are you doing? Your weenie is out in the wind for everyone to see!" he exclaimed. The old man looked off in the distance without answering. "Grandpa, what are you...
Funny Old Man Joke: I Need Doctor's Prescription To Sleep With My Wife
The medics rushed Mr. Sol Steinberg to the hospital in the middle of the night, apparently due to a massive heart attack. The doctors work on him all night and morning and finally discharge him to the Intensive Care Unit, where therapy continues. After a couple of days, Mr. Steinberg's physician comes into his room and says, "Sol, I'm happy to tell...