Monday, April 22, 2019
Hilarious Comedy Joke Of The Day: Lady v/s Gentleman On Bus
Joke Title: Acquainted This lady that was wearing a tight skirt was waiting at the bus stop to get onto the bus. A bus pulled up and the driver opened the doors. She tried to step up onto the step but her skirt was too tight. So she reached back to unzip and loosen it a little. She tried to step up onto the...
Good Naughty Humor: Married Woman's Ultimate Fantasy In Three Words
A woman (mom) was sitting at a bar enjoying a cocktail after work one night, when the bar door opened and the most gorgeous hunk of a man she had ever seen entered. He was tall, muscular, and handsome, with thick dark hair and beautiful, sparkling green eyes, and his every movement was so masculine and sensuous that the woman could not...
Hilarious Dirty Husband Wife Joke Of The Day: I Like Your Beard
A married man was visiting his "girlfriend", When she requested that he shave his beard. "Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face." James replied, "My wife loves this beard. I couldn't possibly do it. She would kill me!!" "Oh please?" the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice... "Really, I can't," he replied. "My wife loves...
Hilarious & Naughty Smart Wife Joke Of The Day: Present For Husband
A woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip. The wife answers: "Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?" The husband laughs and says: "An Italian girl,...!!!" The woman kept quiet and left. Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport...
Best & Hilarious Doctor Joke Of The Day: Dentist's Dirty Wisdom
A man went to the dental surgeon to have a tooth pulled. The dentist pulls out a freezing needle to give the man. "No way! No needles! I hate needles!" the patient said. The dentist starts to hook up the laughing gas and the man again objects. "I can't do the gas thing - the thought of having the gas mask on is...
Hilarious Dirty Husband Wife Best Joke: No More Bad Headaches?
A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those Headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone." "No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?" His wife replies, Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me To Stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat,... "I do not Have a Headache; I do not have a headache, I do not...
Best Dirty Joke Of The Day: Bad Woman & Her Daytime Affair
A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One wet and lusty day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway. "Oh my God - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband's home early!" "I can't jump out the window, It's...
Hilarious School Joke Of The Day: Little Johnny v/s Science Class
In a school science class four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol. The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a jar of sperm. The fourth worm was put into a jar of soil. After one day, these were the results: 1) The first worm...
Hilarious Dirty Parrots Joke Of The Day: Who Needs Prayers?
Joke Title: Who Needs Prayers? A lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing. They keep saying "Hi, we're hot. Do you want a date?" "That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed. "But I do have a solution to your problem. Bring your two parrots over to my...
Best Hilarious Comedy Joke: Two Lawyers v/s Pregnant Secretary
Two lawyers had been life long friends: they were partners and shared everything, including their hot-blooded secretary. One day the secretary announced she was pregnant. They told her not to worry and assured her that they would pay all medical costs and would act as co-fathers when the child was born and provide all expenses thereafter. The day of delivery arrived. Both the...
Hilarious Dirty Lawyer Best Joke Of The Day: Certain Things In Life
The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 40s or early 50s. "May I help you?" she asked. "I want to see Valerie," the man replied. "Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else," said the madam. "No. I must see Valerie," was the man's reply. Just...
Hilarious Best Friendship Joke Of The Day: Honesty is Best Policy
Jack decided to go skiing with his best friend buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night. "I realize it's terrible weather out there and...
Best Hilarious Dirty Comedy Joke: 85 Year Old Grandpa Vs Viagra
A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandpa in the hospital. "How are you grandpa?" he asks. "Feeling fine," says the old man. "What's the food like?" "Terrific, wonderful menus." "And the nursing?" "Just couldn't be better. The young nurses really take care of you." "What about sleeping? Do you sleep OK?" "No problem at all -- nine hours solid every night. At 10 o'clock they bring...
Hilarious Bad Joke Of The Day: Priest Vs Little Boy's Confession
A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already. The little boy says, "Dark in here." The man...
Best Dirty Non Veg Joke Of The Day: Honest Girl & Virgin Husband
A very 'straight and honest' girl is going to Town. Before she left, her mother gave her some advice: "Daughter, when you're in Town and if you're looking for a match there,... you must take note of the following the requirements mother set for you. You must find a man that is 'faithful', 'thrifty' and must be a 'virgin'." With this advice from her...
Hilarious Grandma Vs Doctor Dirty Joke: Baby's First Clinic Visit
A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room,... waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam. The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight,.. and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed? "Breast-fed," she replied. "Well, strip down to your waist," the doctor ordered. She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded,...
Hilarious Bad Comedy Joke Of The Day: Women & Hardware Store
Bob was fixing a door and he found that he needed a new hinge,.. So he sent his wife Mary to the hardware store. At the hardware store, Mary saw a beautiful teapot on a top shelf while she was waiting for Carl, the manager, to finish waiting on a customer. When Carl was finished, Mary asked: "How much for the teapot?" Carl replied:...
Best Dirty Joke Of The Day: World's Most Embarrassing Moments
There was a World wide survey of "Most Embarrassing Moment in human life" the finale had the following three incidents... Third Place "It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we...
Best Light Weight New Funny Jokes In English: Latest Good Humor
Rocket to Moon On the first night of honeymoon the wife crazy husband says, "My sweet darling, I am going to take you to moon tonight." The impatient wife says, "Sure, but first at least let's see the rocket to get there." Period of Patience Dad went to school for getting the report card for his son in the middle of the class and had...
Hilarious Wise Rabbi In Small Town Joke: A Cow From Alberta
The only cow in a small town in USA stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found that they could buy a cow from BC Canada for 1,000 dollars, or one from Alberta Canada for 800 dollars. Being poor, they bought the cow from Alberta. The cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all the time, and the people were...
Hilarious Animal Joke Of The Day: Old Elephant vs Bad Little Boy
There was a guy who bought an elderly circus elephant; Alas, he couldn't afford to feed it. He'd never seen an elephant jump with all 4 feet off the ground. So he started a contest: entry was $10, and the first person to get the elephant to jump with all 4 feet off the ground would get $50,000. All sorts of people...
Enjoy These Best & Hilarious Bad Short Dirty Jokes: Dark Humor
There are 3 Male and 1 Female pencils in a box. The Female pencil got pregnant!! Which Male pencil is responsible? * * * * * * ANSWER: THE ONE WITHOUT THE RUBBER. Woman in bed with husband's best friend, phone rings! "YES".. "OK, BYE". She turns to her lover and says, * * * * * * * "THAT'S MY HUBBY, SAYS HE'S NOW GOLFING WITH YOU." Three Roosters: normal, retarded and a gay. Normal : cock-a-doodle-dooo !!! Retarded : doodle-cock-a-dooo...
Hilarious Stupid Sexy Joke Of The Day: Doctor v/s Decent Assistant
Joke Title: Mr. Paddy Doctor wanted to get off work and play golf, so he approached his assistant Paddy. "I am going golfing tomorrow Paddy and I don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all of our patients." "Yes, sir!" answers Paddy. The doctor goes off to golf and returns the following...
Hilariously Good Non Veg Joke Of The Day: SMART TIT FOR TAT
A very shy young man goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting alone. After an hour he gathers enough courage to go and ask her, "Er... excuse me, but would you mind if I sat here beside you?" She responds in a loud voice : "NO, I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!" Everyone in the bar turns to...
Best Hilarious Non Veg Joke: Pregnant Wife & Husband's Labor Pain
A man took his pregnant wife to the hospital to give birth. The doctor told them that he'd developed a new machine and asked if they'd like to try it. The machine would take some of the woman's pain away and give it to the father there by easing the mothers burden. The couple thought it was a good idea and agreed...
Naughty Smart Woman Joke: How To Inherit A Fortune
When Fred found out he was going to inherit a fortune,... when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. So one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just an ordinary man," he said as...
Little Johnny v/s Maths Teacher Joke: New Generation Student
Math Teacher: Johnny, Tell me, If you have 12 chocolates and,... You give 5 to Sophia, 3 to Emma and, 4 to Isabella, Then what will you get? Little Johnny says: * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * "3 New Girlfriends Mam...!!!"