Wednesday, March 27, 2019
Short Dirty Joke Of The Day: Doctor My Husband Is 300% Impotent
A woman goes to her doctor, complaining that her husband is 300% impotent. The doctor says, "I'm not sure I understand what you mean." She says, "Well, the first 100% you can imagine. * * * * * * * * * * In addition, he burned his tongue and broke his finger!"
Hilarious Naughty Old Man Joke Of The Day: Elderly Man's Confession
An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues: Man: "I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them three times." Priest: "Are you sorry for your sins?" Man: "What sins? " Priest: "What kind...
Best Marriage Humor: A Man and A Woman Sleeping in Train
A man and a woman, who had never met before, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two were tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper bunk and she in the lower. At 2:00 AM, he leaned over and gently wakes the woman, saying, "Ma'am,...
Hilarious Short Naughty Joke: 80 Year Old Man In Confession
An elderly man goes into confession and says to the priest, "Father, I'm 80 years old, married, have four kids and 11 grandchildren. I started taking this new Viagra pill, and last night I had an affair and made love to two 18-year-old girls. and Both of them with. Twice." The priest said: "Well, my son, when was the last time you were...
Hilarious Dirty Mind Joke: Boyfriend Asks Girlfriend To Play Weeweechu
One beautiful December evening Huan Cho and his girlfriend Jung Lee was sitting by the side of the ocean. It was a romantic full moon, when Huan Cho said,.. "Hey baby, how about playing Weeweechu". "Oh no, not now, lets look at the moon." said Jung Lee. "Oh c'mon baby, lets you and I play Weeweechu. I love you and it's a perfect...
Hilarious Indian Management Joke Of The Day: Ravan & Pappu
Once Pappu started praying to Ravan and after 1 year Ravan was very happy from the bhakti of Pappu. Then Ravan decides to give 3 vardans to Pappu. RAVAN: Say vatsa! What you want? PAPPU: I want 100 vardans. RAVAN: But I can give you only 3 vardans. PAPPU: But I want 100 vardans. RAVAN: No child that's not possible. PAPPU: No I want 100 means...
Best Dirty Joke Of The Day: Bad Woman & Her Daytime Affair
A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One wet and lusty day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway. "Oh my God - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband's home early!" "I can't jump out the window, It's...
Hilarious Joke: So You Think You've Had A BAD DAY?
It got crowded in heaven, so, for one day it was decided only to accept people who had really had a bad day on the day they died. St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates and said to the first man, "Tell me about the day you died." The man said, "Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wife was...
Hilarious Corny Husband Wife Joke Of The Day: Weight Watchers
Mrs. Speidell, who was a little on the chubby side, was at her weight-watchers meeting. "My husband insists I come to these meetings because he would rather screw a woman with a trim figure." she lamented to the woman next to her. "Well," the lady replied, "What's wrong with that?" * * * * * * * * "He likes to do it while I'm stuck at these damn meetings."
Hilarious Bad Joke Of The Day: Little Girl v/s Pregnancy
Joke Title: Come let us A ten year old girl rushes to her grandmother and asks her, "Can I be pregnant?" Grandmother, "Are you fooling. You can not be pregnant. Go and play out side." The girl then goes to grandfather and asks him the same question and the reply also is the same. The girl goes to her father with the same question...
Hilarious Cheating Joke: Three Men And Heavenly Transportation
Once there were three men, Dave, John, and Sam, who were involved in a tragic car accident in which all three died. As they stood at the gates of heaven St. Peter came up to them and said, "You will all be given a method of transportation for your eternal use around heaven. You will be judged on your past deeds, and will...
A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying, "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa." The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye Grandpa?"... The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do" The next day...
Hilarious Joke: How God Created Man After Listening Eve's Side Of The Story
After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. 'So, how is everything going?' inquired God. 'It is all so beautiful, God,' she replied. 'The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem. It's these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I...
Hilarious Non Veg Joke: Young Man Asked Doctor For Virginity Test
A young man was planning to get married,.. and asked his doctor how he could tell if his bride is a virgin. The doctor said, "Well, you need three things,.. A can of red paint, a can of blue paint and a shovel.." The man was astonished and asked, "So what do I do with these?" The doctor replied: "Before the wedding night,.. you paint...
Hilarious Husband Wife Naughty Conversation Joke: Seasonal Excitement
A statue of a Macho athlete was displayed in a Museum. Husband and Wife came walking there appreciating and arguing everything they saw so far. Husband would not let wife win the battles of wits. So wife relaxed watching this nude statue with just a couple of leaves to cover its privates, hoping husband goes to other displays. The husband says, "Marvelous, but...
Hilarious Old Age Humor: Grandma Buys A Bumper Sticker, Never Expecting What It Would Get Her Into
Dear Granddaughter, The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting. So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. Boy, am I glad I...
Hilarious Wife Joke: Smart Lesson To A Cheating Husband
When the math professor's wife returns home from work, she finds an envelope on the living room table. She opens it and finds a letter from her husband: "My dearest wife, We have been married for nearly thirty years, and I still love you as much as on the day I proposed. You must realize, however, that you are now 54 years old and no longer...
A little boy wakes up three nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents' room. Finally one morning he goes to his mom and says, "Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noises and when I look in your bedroom you're bouncing up and down on him." His mom is taken by surprise and...
Hilarious Naughty Joke Of The Day: Wife Likes Her Birthday Gift
Adam was talking to his friend at the bar, and said: "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday - she has everything, and besides,... she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I'm stuck." His friend said: "I have an idea! Why don't you make up a certificate saying she can have 60 minutes of great sex, any...
Best Hilarious Dirty Comedy Joke: 85 Year Old Grandpa Vs Viagra
A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandpa in the hospital. "How are you grandpa?" he asks. "Feeling fine," says the old man. "What's the food like?" "Terrific, wonderful menus." "And the nursing?" "Just couldn't be better. The young nurses really take care of you." "What about sleeping? Do you sleep OK?" "No problem at all -- nine hours solid every night. At 10 o'clock they bring...
Best Non Veg Joke Of The Day: Dirty Talking Prostitute Parrots
A lady approaches her priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing." "What do they say?" the priest inquired. "They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Want to have some fun'?" "That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your...
Best Joke Of The Day: Lawyer Versus The Naughty Little Boy
A lawyer is trying to call his clients. The phone rings and their little boy, in a whisper, says, "Hello." Lawyer: "Is your mommy there?" Boy: (whisper) "Yes." Lawyer: "Can I speak with her?" Boy: (whisper) "She's busy." Lawyer: "Is your daddy there?" Boy: (whisper) "Yes." Lawyer: "Can I speak with him?" Boy: (whisper) "He's busy." Lawyer: "Is there anyone else there?" Boy: (whisper) "The fire department." Lawyer: "Can I talk...
Hilarious Cute Joke Of The Day: Innocence Babies At Its Best
Two babies were sitting in their cribs, when one baby shouted to the other, "Are you a little girl or a little boy?" "I don't know," replied the other baby giggling. "What do you mean, you don't know?" said the first baby. "I mean I don't know how to tell the difference," was the reply. "Well, I do," said the first baby chuckling, "I'll...
Dirty Joke Of The Day: Two Women Were Playing Golf
Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began...
Hilarious Joke: A Journalist Interviewing A Mom-Of-8
A woman had 8 children, all of them boys. So, one day a magazine sent a journalist to her house for an interview. He asked her about the boys and what their names were. She said 'Kevin'. 'Right', he said, 'what about that blonde one over there?' 'Kevin', she said. 'Oh, and the tall one with the freckles?' 'Kevin', she said. 'Well, and the little chubby one...
Most Hilarious Dirty Non Veg Army Joke Of The Day: Heriditary
Two brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their physicals. During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both of them possessed incredibly long, oversized penises. "How do you account for this?" he asked the brothers. "It's hereditary, sir," the older one replied. "I see," said the doctor, writing in his file. "Your father's the reason for your elongated penises?" "No sir, our...
Hilarious Dirty Husband Wife Best Joke: No More Bad Headaches?
A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those Headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone." "No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?" His wife replies, Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me To Stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat,... "I do not Have a Headache; I do not have a headache, I do not...