Monday, December 30, 2019
Hilarious Husband Wife: Mix Short Humorous Jokes On Marriage
Man walks into the bedroom with a sheep under his arm while his wife is lying in bed reading. Man says: "This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache." Wife replies: "I think you'll find that is a sheep." Man replies: "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep." A man walks into his bedroom and...
Hilarious Dirty Non Veg Joke Of The Day: Best Mediclaim Couple
A couple went to a sex therapists office at ABC Hospital. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?" The man said, "Will you watch us having sex, for your expert analysis?" The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse," and charged them $50/-. This happened several weeks in a...
Hilarious Naughty Grandparents Joke: Grandpa With No Pants
A man came to visit his grandparents, and he noticed,.. His grandfather sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, wearing only a shirt, with nothing on from the waist down. "Grandpa, what are you doing? Your weenie is out in the wind for everyone to see!" he exclaimed. The old man looked off in the distance without answering. "Grandpa, what are you...
Hilarious Long Naughty Story Joke: Cinderella is Now 95 Years Old
After a fulfilling life with the now dead prince, she happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat named Bob for companionship. One sunny afternoon out of nowhere, appeared the fairy godmother. Cinderella said, "Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years?" The fairy godmother replied, "Cinderella, you have lived...
Young Boy Vs Farmer Neighbour Bad Joke: Is Your Dad Home?
A farmer got in his truck and drove to a neighbouring farm and knocked at the farmhouse door. A young boy, about nine, opened the door. "Is your Dad home"? the farmer asked. "Sorry mate, he isn't" the boy replied. "He went into town." "Well," said the farmer, "Is your mum here"? "No, sir, she's not here either. She went into town with Dad." "How...
Hilarious Doctor Joke: Naughty Husband Wife And Toilet Seat
A man decides to take the opportunity while his wife is away to paint the toilet seat. The wife comes home sooner than expected, sits, and gets the seat stuck to her rear. She is understandably distraught about this and asks her husband to drive her to the doctor. She puts on a large overcoat so as to cover the stuck seat,...
Best Hilarious Old Man Marriage Joke Of The Day: The Old Motor
The marriage of an 80 year old man and a 20 year old woman was the talk of the town. After being married a year, the couple went to the hospital for the birth of their first child. The attending nurse came out of the delivery room to congratulate the old gentleman and said, "This is amazing. How do you do it...
Hilarious Naughty Marriage Joke Of The Day: New Husband
In a small town in the old country the Rabbi died. His widow, the Rebbetzin, was so disconsolate that the people of the town decided that she ought to get married again. But the town was so small that the only eligible bachelor was the town butcher. The poor Rebbetzin was somewhat dismayed because she had been wed to a scholar, and...
Best Marriage Humor: A Man and A Woman Sleeping in Train
A man and a woman, who had never met before, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two were tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper bunk and she in the lower. At 2:00 AM, he leaned over and gently wakes the woman, saying, "Ma'am,...
Most Hilarious Dirty Non Veg Army Joke Of The Day: Heriditary
Two brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their physicals. During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both of them possessed incredibly long, over-sized penises. "How do you account for this?" he asked the brothers. "It's hereditary, sir," the older one replied. "I see," said the doctor, writing in his file. "Your father's the reason for your elongated penises?" "No sir, our...
Hilarious Best Husband Wife Joke For Today: Learn To Shut Up
Joke Title: Twenty Dollars On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed. This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years,.. with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and...
Short Dirty Joke Of The Day: Doctor My Husband Is 300% Impotent
A woman goes to her doctor, complaining that her husband is 300% impotent. The doctor says, "I'm not sure I understand what you mean." She says, "Well, the first 100% you can imagine. * * * * * * * * * * In addition, he burned his tongue and broke his finger!"
Hilarious Husband Wife Corny Joke: Wife Going To Las Vegas
A man came home from work one day to find his wife sitting on the front porch with her bags packed. He asked her where she was going and she replied: "I'm going to Las Vegas." He asked her why she was going. She told him: "I just found out that as a woman I can make £400 a night doing what I...
Hilarious Husband Wife Naughty Conversation Joke: Seasonal Excitement
A statue of a Macho athlete was displayed in a Museum. Husband and Wife came walking there appreciating and arguing everything they saw so far. Husband would not let wife win the battles of wits. So wife relaxed watching this nude statue with just a couple of leaves to cover its privates, hoping husband goes to other displays. The husband says, "Marvelous, but...
Best Naughty Joke Of The Day: Old Men Are Fast Thinkers Beware
One old farmer had a large pond in the back,.. fixed up nicely with picnic tables, a barbecue pit, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built. One evening, the old guy decided to go down to the pond and look it over. He hadn't been there for a...
Hilarious Cute Joke Of The Day: Innocence Babies At Its Best
Two babies were sitting in their cribs, when one baby shouted to the other, "Are you a little girl or a little boy?" "I don't know," replied the other baby giggling. "What do you mean, you don't know?" said the first baby. "I mean I don't know how to tell the difference," was the reply. "Well, I do," said the first baby chuckling, "I'll...
Hilarious Naughty Joke Of The Day: Dad, Secretary & Little Daughter
Joke Title: Doll A man comes home with his little daughter, whom he has just taken to work. The little girl asks, "I saw you in your office with your secretary. Why do you call her a doll?" Feeling his wife's gaze upon him, the man explains, "Well, honey, my secretary is a very hard-working girl. She types like you wouldn't believe, she knows the computer system and...
Enjoy These Best & Hilarious Bad Short Dirty Jokes: Dark Humor
There are 3 Male and 1 Female pencils in a box. The Female pencil got pregnant!! Which Male pencil is responsible? * * * * * * ANSWER: THE ONE WITHOUT THE RUBBER. Woman in bed with husband's best friend, phone rings! "YES".. "OK, BYE". She turns to her lover and says, * * * * * * * "THAT'S MY HUBBY, SAYS HE'S NOW GOLFING WITH YOU." Three Roosters: normal, retarded and a gay. Normal : cock-a-doodle-dooo !!! Retarded : doodle-cock-a-dooo...
Hilarious Naughty Doctor Joke Of The Day: Rusty Newborn Baby
After their baby was born, the panicked father went to see the Obstetrician. "Doctor," the man said, "I don't mind telling you, but I'm a little upset because my daughter has red hair. She can't possibly be mine." "Nonsense," the doctor said. "Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the...
Hilarious Husband Wife Bedroom Humor Short Joke: Undressing
James is alone in the bedroom when his beautiful wife opens the door and walks in. "James," she whispers, "Take off my shirt." "James," she whispers, "Take off my bra." "James," she whispers, "Take off my skirt." "James," she whispers, "Take of my stockings." "James," she whispers, "Take off my panties." "James!" she screams, * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * "And Don't ever wear my fucking clothes again!"
Hilarious Naughty Joke: Six Old Ladies Naked On The Grass
Joke Title: Business Strategy One day while passing a nursing home I noticed six old ladies lying naked on the grass. I thought this was a bit unusual but I continued on my way to the store. On my return trip, I passed the same nursing home with the same six old ladies laying on the lawn. This time my curiosity got the...
Hilarious Naughty Women Joke Of The Day: Annual Outing
Jenny was explaining to her husband how much fun they'd had at the beach during her bridge club annual outing. "But," she told him, "it didn't end all that great for me." "Why, what happened?" he asked. "I went out to take a swim in the rough water but I didn't go out far because the waves were very bad. Then I suddenly...
Hilarious Stupid Sexy Joke Of The Day: Doctor v/s Decent Assistant
Joke Title: Mr. Paddy Doctor wanted to get off work and play golf, so he approached his assistant Paddy. "I am going golfing tomorrow Paddy and I don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all of our patients." "Yes, sir!" answers Paddy. The doctor goes off to golf and returns the following...
Hilarious Best Non Veg Joke Of The Day: American Tourist & Mexican Delicacy
An american was touring Mexico. After his day's sight-seeing, he stops at a local restaurant. While sipping his wine, he notices a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only it looked good, but the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, "What was that you just served the gentleman at the next table?" The waiter replied, "Ah, senor, you...
Hilarious Non Veg Hospital Joke Of The Day: The New Age Baby
Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm together and have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated with it. When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital. A dozen babies are in the ward, eleven of whom are crying and screaming. Over in the corner, one baby is smiling serenely. A nurse comes by, and to the delight of...
Hilarious Dirty Surprise Joke Of The Day: After Love Who Is He?
After a long night of making love the young guy rolled over,... was looking around when he noticed a framed picture of another man on a desk in the distance. Naturally, the guy began to worry. "Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously. "No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend then?" he asked. "No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at...
Hilarious Corny Joke Of The Day: Clever Guest & Super Computer
The Super Computer stood at the end of the Computer Company's production line. At which point the guided tour eventually arrived. The salesman stepped forward to give his prepared demo. "This", he said,... ..."is the Super Computer. It will give an intelligent answer to any question you may care to ask it". At which a Clever Guest stepped forward - there is always one...