Saturday, April 20, 2019
Dark Humor Joke: Married Man, Cheating Wife And Cabby
A man returning home a day early from a business trip got into a taxi at the airport. It was after midnight. While en route to his home, he asked the cabby if he would be a witness. The man suspected his wife was having an affair and he intended to catch her in the act. For $100, the cabby agreed. Quietly arriving at...
Two priests were going to Hawaii on vacation and decided that they would make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, and so on. The next morning they went to the beach, dressed in...
Hilarious Dirty Joke: Husband, Wife And Laptop Password
A woman helps her husband to set up a new laptop. Once it is completed, She tells him to select a password, Selecting a word that he'll always remember. As the computer asks him to enter it, He looks at his wife and with a macho gesture and a wink in his eye, He types "mypen*s". As he hits "enter" to validate the selection, His wife collapses...
Hilarious Bad Joke Of The Day: Little Girl v/s Pregnancy
Joke Title: Come let us A ten year old girl rushes to her grandmother and asks her, "Can I be pregnant?" Grandmother, "Are you fooling. You can not be pregnant. Go and play out side." The girl then goes to grandfather and asks him the same question and the reply also is the same. The girl goes to her father with the same question...
Hilarious Bad Dirty Non Veg Joke Of The Day: Defective Parrot
A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?" The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot." "Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!" "I got every word," says...
Hilarious Naughty Old Man Joke Of The Day: Elderly Man's Confession
An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues: Man: "I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them three times." Priest: "Are you sorry for your sins?" Man: "What sins? " Priest: "What kind...
Best Non Veg Joke Of The Day: Dirty Talking Prostitute Parrots
A lady approaches her priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing." "What do they say?" the priest inquired. "They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Want to have some fun'?" "That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your...
Hilarious Indian Management Joke Of The Day: Ravan & Pappu
Once Pappu started praying to Ravan and after 1 year Ravan was very happy from the bhakti of Pappu. Then Ravan decides to give 3 vardans to Pappu. RAVAN: Say vatsa! What you want? PAPPU: I want 100 vardans. RAVAN: But I can give you only 3 vardans. PAPPU: But I want 100 vardans. RAVAN: No child that's not possible. PAPPU: No I want 100 means...
Hilariously Stupid Joke: A Blonde Being Asked To Climb A Pole
A group of guys were chatting with a hot good-looking blonde and, somewhat improbably, asked her to climb this pole that was conveniently nearby. For whatever reason, she decided to do it. When she told her mother what happened, her mother scolded her: "Don't you understand that they only wanted to see your underwear?" The girl was understandably upset at being very stupid and...
Hilarious Bad Joke Of The Day: Charlie Vs Priest At Church
Joke Title: Trading Place Charlie was responsible for taking up the offerings at a local church. One Sunday, after the service, the priest counted the money and found there was less than anticipated, given the size of the congregation. He took Charlie aside and questioned him. Charlie said that he did not take any of the offerings. The priest questioned him again and again...
Hilarious Dirty Husband Wife Joke Of The Day: I Like Your Beard
A married man was visiting his "girlfriend", When she requested that he shave his beard. "Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face." James replied, "My wife loves this beard. I couldn't possibly do it. She would kill me!!" "Oh please?" the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice... "Really, I can't," he replied. "My wife loves...
Clean Office Joke: A Young Programmer & His Project Manager
A young Programmer and his Project Manager board a train,... Headed through the mountains on its way to Wichita. They can find no place to sit except for two seats,.. Right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother. After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young programmer are interested in each other,.. Because they are giving...
Hilarious Short Naughty Joke: 80 Year Old Man In Confession
An elderly man goes into confession and says to the priest, "Father, I'm 80 years old, married, have four kids and 11 grandchildren. I started taking this new Viagra pill, and last night I had an affair and made love to two 18-year-old girls. and Both of them with. Twice." The priest said: "Well, my son, when was the last time you were...
Hilarious Joke: Teacher And Principal Asks Jimmy Questions To See If He Can Skip Grades
A second grade teacher was having trouble with one of her student Johnny. One day, she asked Johnny what his problem was. He replied, "I'm too smart for the second grade, my sister is in the fourth grade, and I'm smarter than her too." The teacher took him to the principal's office and explained the situation to the principal. The principal told her...
Hilarious Naughty Joke: Six Old Ladies Naked On The Grass
Joke Title: Business Strategy One day while passing a nursing home I noticed six old ladies lying naked on the grass. I thought this was a bit unusual but I continued on my way to the store. On my return trip, I passed the same nursing home with the same six old ladies laying on the lawn. This time my curiosity got the...
Hilarious School Joke Of The Day: Little Johnny v/s Science Class
In a school science class four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol. The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a jar of sperm. The fourth worm was put into a jar of soil. After one day, these were the results: 1) The first worm...
Hilarious Joke: A Young Couple Just Married In Their Honeymoon Suite On Wedding Night
A young couple, just married, were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they were undressing for bed, the husband - who was a big burly man - tossed his trousers to his bride and said, "Here, put these on." She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body. "I cant wear your trousers," she said. "That's...
Hilarious Joke: A Journalist Interviewing A Mom-Of-8
A woman had 8 children, all of them boys. So, one day a magazine sent a journalist to her house for an interview. He asked her about the boys and what their names were. She said 'Kevin'. 'Right', he said, 'what about that blonde one over there?' 'Kevin', she said. 'Oh, and the tall one with the freckles?' 'Kevin', she said. 'Well, and the little chubby one...
Hilarious Naughty Doctor Joke Of The Day: Rusty Newborn Baby
After their baby was born, the panicked father went to see the Obstetrician. "Doctor," the man said, "I don't mind telling you, but I'm a little upset because my daughter has red hair. She can't possibly be mine." "Nonsense," the doctor said. "Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the...
Hilarious Old Widows Naughty Joke: Best Senior Dating
Dorothy and Edna, two "senior" widows, are talking. Dorothy: "That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date,... I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer." Edna: "Well, I'll tell you,... He shows up at my apartment punctually at 7 P.M., dressed like such a gentleman in...
Hilarious Joke: A Woman Joins A Country Club And Played Golf
A woman joins a country club and one day hears the guys talking about their golf round. She says, "I played on my college's golf team. I was pretty good. Mind if I join you next week?" No one wants to say 'yes', but they're on the spot. Finally, one man says, "Okay, but we start at 6:30 am." He figures the early...
Short Dirty Joke: Little Johnny With His Cat At School
At school one day the teacher heard cat noises coming from the class, and she discovered little johnny with a cat up his jumper. She said, "Why have you got your cat at school?" Little Johnny started crying. "I woke up this morning to hear the postman tell Mummy ... * * * * * * * * * 'I'm gonna eat your pu$$y today!"
Hilarious Joke: So You Think You've Had A BAD DAY?
It got crowded in heaven, so, for one day it was decided only to accept people who had really had a bad day on the day they died. St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates and said to the first man, "Tell me about the day you died." The man said, "Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wife was...
Hilarious Non Veg Joke Of The Day: Old Best Friends & Their Sons
Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party. After several drinks, one of the men had to use the restroom. Those who remained talked about their kids. The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and...
Hilarious Dirty Mind Joke: Boyfriend Asks Girlfriend To Play Weeweechu
One beautiful December evening Huan Cho and his girlfriend Jung Lee was sitting by the side of the ocean. It was a romantic full moon, when Huan Cho said,.. "Hey baby, how about playing Weeweechu". "Oh no, not now, lets look at the moon." said Jung Lee. "Oh c'mon baby, lets you and I play Weeweechu. I love you and it's a perfect...
Hilarious Dirty Joke: Two People Find Themselves Celebrating
A chicken farmer went to a local bar,... sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman perked up and said, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!" "What a coincidence," the farmer said. "This is a special day for me; I am celebrating." "This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating," Said the...
Hilarious Non Veg Hospital Joke Of The Day: The New Age Baby
Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm together and have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated with it. When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital. A dozen babies are in the ward, eleven of whom are crying and screaming. Over in the corner, one baby is smiling serenely. A nurse comes by, and to the delight of...