Friday, February 15, 2019
Hilarious Clean Marriage Humor Joke: Why Men Wear Ear Rings?
I have often wondered how this trend got started, I now have the answer. A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense." The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you...
Best Hilarious Clean Office Joke: Always Allow Boss To Speak First
A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says: Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each." So the eager senior manager shouted:, "I want...
Hilarious Good Family Joke Of The Day: High Telephone Bill
The phone bill was exceptionally high and the man of the house called a family meeting... Dad: People this is unacceptable. You have to limit the use of the phone. I do not use this phone, I use the one at the office. Mom: Same here, I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone. Son: Me too, I never use...
Hilarious Clean Safe For Work Office Joke: New Company Trainee
A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee... On his first day, he dialled the kitchen and shouted into the phone: "Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!" The voice from the other side responded: "You fool; you've dialled the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?" "No" replied the trainee. "It's the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!" The...
Hilarious Best Lawyer Joke Of The Day: Coats Business
Jacob was in coats business, but unfortunately business was very bad. One day his partner James said to him, "What are we going to do with these fifty coats? They're last year's style and even though we've knocked them down to $100 each, we still can't sell any." Jacob replied, "Use your head, James. Price them at $200 and send 10 of...
Hilarious Comedy Joke Of The Day: Umbrella Thief
An elderly man gave all of his seven umbrellas for repair at one time,... and told the shopkeeper he would pick it up in the evening while back from work. On the way to work in Bus, out of habit he grabbed the umbrella of the woman sitting next to him,... got up and started walking. The woman started yelled, "Umbrella thief, Umbrella...
Hilarious Naughty Joke Of The Day: Dad, Secretary & Little Daughter
Joke Title: Doll A man comes home with his little daughter, whom he has just taken to work. The little girl asks, "I saw you in your office with your secretary. Why do you call her a doll?" Feeling his wife's gaze upon him, the man explains, "Well, honey, my secretary is a very hard-working girl. She types like you wouldn't believe, she knows the computer system and...
Hilarious American Political Humor Joke Of The Day: Why US Has Crisis?
An Israeli doctor says: "Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks." A German doctor says: "That is nothing; we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four...
Hilarious Best Husband Wife Joke For Today: Learn To Shut Up
Joke Title: Twenty Dollars On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed. This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years,.. with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and...
Hilarious Government Office Clean Joke Of The Day: The Genie
A government employee found an old brass lamp in a filing cabinet. When he dusted it off, a genie appeared and granted him three wishes. "I'd love an ice-cold beer right now," he told the genie. Poof! A beer appeared. Next, the man said, "I wish to be on an island, surrounded by beautiful and willing women." Poof! He was on an island with...
Hilarious Computer IT Humor: Is Microsoft Windows A Virus?
No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do: #1. They replicate quickly - okay, Windows does that. #2. Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so - okay, Windows does that. #3. Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk - okay, Windows does that too. #4. Viruses are usually carried, unknown to...
Bad Hilarious Non Veg Joke Of The Day: Men Will Try Everything
A Canadian salesman checked into a futuristic hotel in Tokyo Japan. Realising he needed a haircut before the next day's meeting he called down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the premises. "I'm afraid not, sir," the clerk told him apologetically, "but down the hall from your room is a robot vending machine that should serve your...
Hilarious Clean Best Work Joke: Irishman, Russian & Japanese
Joke Title: "SUPPLIES" There friends an Irishman, a Russian and a Japanese man, all set out on a journey looking for work. They go by a quiet little dusty town and see a sign advertising work in the local coal mine. The pay is great, so they go off and look for the boss. They find him and he tells them: "Well, you know, I...
Hilarious Government Job Dirty Joke: Canada Post Employment
A guy goes to Canada Post to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him "Are you allergic to anything?" He says "Yes, just caffeine." "Have you ever been in the service?" the interviewer asks. "Yes," he says, "I was in Afghanistan for two years." The interviewer says "That will give you 5 extra points toward employment here." He then asks, "Are you disabled in...
Hilarious Crazy Office Joke Of The Day: Worker Needs Light To Work
I urgently needed a few days off work,.. but I knew the Boss would Not Allow me to take leave.. I thought that maybe if I acted 'CRAZY' Then He would tell me to take a few days off. So, I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker (Sipho) asked me what I was doing. I told him that...
Indian Hilarious Software Engineer Joke: Online Chat At Office
A Guy was chatting with a female (never met her directly). (Background, both are s/w engineers by the way and both work for real big MNC's ) Hero: Hey...GM ()... How's u doing today? Female: VGM... Day is going good and it got better having found u on chat. Hero: wow... am honored, u know what, my day starts only when I find...
Hilarious Indian Management Joke: Banta Singh, Lord Dharamraja & Priest
A Priest dies & is awaiting his turn in line at the Heaven's Gates. Ahead of him is a guy, nattily dressed, in dark sun glasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket & jeans. Lord Dharmaraja (an Indian God) asks him: "Please tell me who are you, so that I may know whether to admit you into the kingdom of Heaven or...
Good Clean Jokes In English: Six Hilarious And Best Army Humor
#.01 The General-in-training There was this General-in-training, and his superiors were asking him questions. "What happened on June 6, 1944?" "We stormed the beach at Normandy, which later became known as D-Day, sir!" "What was the turning point of world war 2?" "Battle of the bulge, sir!" "What's is the importance of May 12" The Man thought and thought "I don't know, sir!" The superior then...
Hilarious Interview Joke: Cajun Man And His Smart Math Answers
A Cajun man wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test. "Here's your first question, the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9." "Without numbers?" the Cajun says, "That is easy." and proceeds to draw three trees. "What's this?" the boss asks. "Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine," says...
Hilarious Bad Joke Of The Day: Perception of Husband & Wife
Two women are chatting in office. Woman 1: I had $ex last night, did you? Woman 2: Yes. Woman 1: Was it good? Woman 2: No, it was a disaster... My husband came home, ate his dinner in three minutes, got on top of me, finished having $ex in five minutes, rolled over and fell asleep in two minutes. How was yours? Woman 1: Oh it was...
Hilarious IT Joke: Bill Gates in Heaven Looking For Windows
Bill Gates died and, much to everyone's surprise, went to Heaven. When he got there, he had to wait in the reception area, which was about the size of Massachusetts. There were millions of people living in tents. Food and water were being distributed from the backs of trucks, while staffers with clipboards slowly worked their way through the crowd. Bill lived in...
Hilarious Indian Management Joke Of The Day: Ravan & Pappu
Once Pappu started praying to Ravan and after 1 year Ravan was very happy from the bhakti of Pappu. Then Ravan decides to give 3 vardans to Pappu. RAVAN: Say vatsa! What you want? PAPPU: I want 100 vardans. RAVAN: But I can give you only 3 vardans. PAPPU: But I want 100 vardans. RAVAN: No child that's not possible. PAPPU: No I want 100 means...
Clean Hilarious Joke: Two Friends Working In The Same Office
Two friends working in the same office. One wanted some time off, but knew the boss wouldn't allow him to take leave. He decided to act crazy so the boss would tell him to take a few days off. He hung upside down from the ceiling so the other guy asked him "What are you doing?" "Ah, me pretending to be a light...
Stupid Boss Joke: Dumb CEO Overreacted And Fired A Worker
In a factory: A man standing on the floor and looking aimlessly. CEO of that factory came and asked his salary. Man replied "$2000 sir." CEO took out his wallet and gave $6000 and told him "I pay people here to work and not to waste time, This is your 3 months salary. Now get out of here. Never come back" That guy left without...
Hilarious Joke Of The Day: Never Lie To A Smart Wife / Woman
One day, the husband called his wife, and asked: "Honey I've been asked to go fishing in China with my boss for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get the promotion. So could you please pack enough clothes for a week, set out my rod & fishing box. We're leaving from office & I'll swing by the house to...
Office Jokes: 6 Management Lessons That Everyone Should Know
Lesson 1/6: A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.' After thinking for a moment,...
Joke Of The Day: Young Salesman Shocks His Boss At New Job
A young man from Minnesota moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job. The manager asks, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says, "Yeah. I was a salesman back in Minnesota." The boss liked the kid and gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and...