Monday, April 22, 2019
Hilarious Good Marriage Humor Joke: Old Woman v/s Sons-in-law
Joke Title: Test An old woman had 3 daughters. One day she decided to test her Sons-in-law. One day she was walking along a lakeshore with the first son-in-law. Purposefully, she fell down in the lake and started yelling for help. The first son-in-law jumped into the water and dragged her out into the shore. The next day he found a brand new E Class...
Hilarious Comedy Elderly Joke Of The Day: 3 Old Age Guys
"Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old man. "You always feel like you have to pee and most of the time you stand there and nothing comes out." "Ah, that's nothing," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy, you don't have a bowel movement any more. You take laxatives, eat bran, sit on the toilet all day and nothing' comes...
Best Hilarious Dirty Comedy Joke: 85 Year Old Grandpa Vs Viagra
A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandpa in the hospital. "How are you grandpa?" he asks. "Feeling fine," says the old man. "What's the food like?" "Terrific, wonderful menus." "And the nursing?" "Just couldn't be better. The young nurses really take care of you." "What about sleeping? Do you sleep OK?" "No problem at all -- nine hours solid every night. At 10 o'clock they bring...
Hilarious Elderly Clean Marriage Humor Joke: 40 Years Together Couple
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the dining room table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear...
Hilarious Comedy Joke: A Man Is Talking To The Family Doctor
A man is talking to the family doctor:,.. "Doctor, I think my wife is going deaf." The doctor answers:,.. "Well, here's something you can try on her to test her hearing. Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question. If she doesn't answer, move a little closer and ask again. Keep repeating this until she answers. Then you'll be able to tell just...
Old Age Humor: Dying Man Thought His Wife Baked Him Cookies
An old man was lying in his death bed upstairs. His most favorite food in the world was chocolate chip cookies. As he lay there, gasping for each breath,... He was sure he could smell freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies. He crawled out of bed and slowly limped down the stairs. Sure enough, across the kitchen,... There was a huge platter of chocolate chip cookies on...
Joke Of The Day: Elderly Couple Was Just Settled Down For Bed
An elderly couple was just settled down for bed,... When the old man realized he left the lights on in the greenhouse in the back yard. Then they heard voices. Three men had broken into the greenhouse. Scared, they called the police. The dispatcher replied,... He would send an officer as soon as one became available as they were all out on calls. The old man...
Clean Family Joke: Couple Had Been Married For Over 50 Years
A couple had been married for over 50 years and had many children and grandchildren. One day, the eldest son calls his father for a normal chat and his father starts musing. "You know son, after 50 years, I'm not really in love with your mother any more,... I'm thinking of getting a divorce and leaving her." The son is absolutely shocked and...
Hilariously Best Old Age Joke: 81 Years Old Man v/s Talking Frog
A guy is 81 years old and loves to fish. He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up." He looked around and couldn't see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, "Pick me up." He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog. The...
Good Clean Joke: Smart Millionaire & His Much Younger Bride
A 60-year-old millionaire was getting married and threw a big wedding reception. The big day arrived, and he got married to his stunning 23-year-old bride in the vast garden of his 50,000-square-foot mansion. Champagne was flowing and an enormous team of waiters was flitting about serving the finest hors-d'oeuvres in the land. Naturally, the millionaire's less wealthy friends couldn't help but feel...
Hilarious Naughty Joke: Old Office Looks Just the Same... Oh Wait
A middle-aged male college professor receives a knock on the door of his office on campus. After fumbling about for a few moments, he opens the door to find an old man, Who greets him with a big smile and says: "May I come in? I worked in this very room thirty years ago when I was a professor at this college." "Sure!"...
Elderly Humor: An Old Couple Has Their Friends Over For Dinner
An old couple has their friends over for dinner one evening,... And after the meal the two men retire to the living room while the women remain chatting at the table. The one guy says to his friend:,... "Hey, we went to a really great restaurant last week and I think you'd really like it. They had good portions for low prices, and...
Hilarious Joke: Three Old Brothers Age 92, 94 & 96 Live In A House Together
Three elderly brothers age 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath, puts his foot in and pauses. He yells down the stairs,... "Was I getting in or out of the bath?" The 94 year old yells back,... "I don't know, I'll come up and see." He starts up the stairs and pauses, then he...
Hilarious Old Age Humor: Elderly Memory Problem Good Joke
Two elderly people living in Trailer Estates, he was a Widower and she a widow, had known each other for a number of years. One evening there was a community supper in the big activity center. The two were at the same table, across from one another as the meal went on, he took a few admiring glances at her and...
Hilarious Elderly Dirty Joke: 80-Year-Old Millionaire v/s Doctor's Advice
An 80-year-old millionaire becomes engaged to a beautiful 22-year-old model. He goes to his doctor for a checkup a couple of weeks before the wedding date. The doctor looks him over and says, "Bill, you seem completely healthy but I must tell you one thing." "What's that?", asks the millionaire. "At your age, sex can be dangerous, and you need to watch it, take...
Hilarious Silly Old Man Vs Young Man Clean Joke: Time Please
Young Man: "Sir, may I know the time, please?" Old Man: "Certainly not." Young Man: "Sir, but why? What are you going to lose, if you tell me the time?" Old Man: "Yes, I may lose something if I tell you the time." Young Man: "But Sir, can you tell me how?" Old Man: "See, if I tell you the time you will definitely...
Hilarious Good Comedy Old Biker Joke Of The Day: Hand Job
A crusty old biker, on a summer ride in the country, walks into a tavern and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads: CHEESEBURGER: $1.50 CHICKEN SANDWICH: $2.50 HAND JOB: $1000 Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive female bartender serving drinks to a meager looking group of farmers. "Yes?" she...
Grandpa & Grandma Cute Joke Of The Day: Good Old Days
Grandpa and Grandma always got very excited when they recalled the old days they were together. They made a decision, one day to make it,.. "yesterday once more". They made a date on the riverbank they used to go when they were young. The next day, Grandpa got up 6 a.m. in the morning, dashed to the bank, picked up a big bunch of...
Hilarious Short Naughty Joke: 80 Year Old Man In Confession
An elderly man goes into confession and says to the priest, "Father, I'm 80 years old, married, have four kids and 11 grandchildren. I started taking this new Viagra pill, and last night I had an affair and made love to two 18-year-old girls. and Both of them with. Twice." The priest said: "Well, my son, when was the last time you were...
Hilarious Naughty Old Husband Wife Joke Of The Day: Smart Back
Joke Title: Back At You One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, "Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!!" His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unnoticed. The next morning the husband took a pair of...
Best Naughty Joke Of The Day: Old Men Are Fast Thinkers Beware
The old farmer had a large pond in the back,.. fixed up nicely with picnic tables, a barbecue pit, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built. One evening, the old guy decided to go down to the pond and look it over. He hadn't been there for a...
Hilarious Naughty Grandparents Joke: Grandpa With No Pants
A man came to visit his grandparents, and he noticed,.. his grandfather sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, wearing only a shirt, with nothing on from the waist down. "Grandpa, what are you doing? Your weenie is out in the wind for everyone to see!" he exclaimed. The old man looked off in the distance without answering. "Grandpa, what are you...
Hilarious Older Couple Joke: Romantic Night After 50 Years
An older couple was lying in bed one night. The husband was falling a sleep, but the wife felt romantic and wanted to talk. She said, "You use to hold my hand when we were courting." Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second, and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said, "Then you used to...
Hilarious Comedy Joke Of The Day: Umbrella Thief
An elderly man gave all of his seven umbrellas for repair at one time,... and told the shopkeeper he would pick it up in the evening while back from work. On the way to work in Bus, out of habit he grabbed the umbrella of the woman sitting next to him,... got up and started walking. The woman started yelled, "Umbrella thief, Umbrella...
Hilarious Bar Joke Of The Day: A Smart Guy VS Old Drunkard
Joke Title: How Old Am I? A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I want you to give me 12-year scotch, and don't try to fool me because I can tell the difference." The bartender is skeptical and decides to try to trick the man with 5-year scotch. The man takes a sip, scowls and says, "Bartender, this crap is...
Hilarious Old Age Joke Of The Day: Wife's Hearing Problem
A old man told his doctor, "I don't think my wife's hearing is as good as it used to be. What should I do?" The doctor replied, "Try this test first. When your wife is at the sink doing dishes, stand fifteen feet behind her and ask her a question. If she doesn't respond, keep moving closer, asking the question until she hears you." He went...
Hilarious Clean Joke Of The Day: Young Man And Grandfather
Joke Title: Cold Water A young man went to his grandfather's place to stay for the weekend. He was sitting down to lunch when he noticed that the spoons and forks were encrusted in a thin filmy substance. He asked his grandfather, "Are you sure you washed it properly?" "As clean as cold water can get it." was the reply. So the young man shrugged...