Operator: “Thank you for calling Pizza Galaxy, The Best Pizzas in this Earth. May I have your…”

Customer: “Hello, can I order?”

Operator: “Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?”

Customer: “It’s eh…, hold… …on… 889861356102049 998-45-54610”

Operator: “OK… you’re… Mr. Gomez and you’re calling from 143 Bangkal St, Sky View Apt, Makati, 80th floor…

Your home number is 8094! 2366, your office 7645-2302 and your mobile is 01482662566.

This is a new number, Which number are you calling from now Sir?”

Customer: “Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?”

Operator: “We are connected to the system Sir.”

Customer: “May I order your Seafood Pizza.”

Operator: “That’s not a good idea Sir.”

Customer: “How come?”

Operator: “According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir.”

Customer: “What?… What do you recommend then?”

Operator: “Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You’ll like it”

Customer: “How do you know for sure?”

Operator: “You borrowed a book entitled “Popular Hokkien Dishes” from the National Library last week Sir.”

Customer: “OK I give up… Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?”

Operator: “That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is $179.99”

Customer: “Can I pay by! credit card?”

Operator: “I’m afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank $9637.55 since October last year.”

“That’s not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir.”

Customer: “I guess I have to run to the neighborhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives.”

Operator: “You can’t Sir. Based on the records, you’ve reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today.”

Customer: “Never mind just send the pizzas, I’ll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?”

Operator: “About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can’t wait you can always come and collect it on your scooter…”

Customer: “What!”

Operator: “According to the details in system, you own a Lambretta 1969 Vintage Scooter,… registration number USE 8917…”

Customer: “????”

Operator: “Is there anything else Sir?”

Customer: “Nothing… by the way… aren’t you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?”

Operator: “We normally would Sir, but based on your records you’re also diabetic… …”

Customer: “#$$^%&[email protected]$%^”

Operator: “Better watch your language Sir.

Remember on 11th Nov 1986 you were convicted for using abusive language on a policeman who stopped you for driving through a one way,

in fact you were driving a 1973 Volkswagen bearing registration number UTD 4267…”

Customer: [Faints]