Circuit: Bhai america mein address puchega tho kya bolne ka?
Munna Bhai: Dhobhi Ghaat.
Circuit: Bhai english mein bolneka tho?
Munna Bhai: Bolne ka, Washing Town.
Circuit: Bhai idhar aane ko kya bolne ka?
Munna Bhai: Come Here.
Circuit: Bhai phir udhar jaaneko kya bolthe hai?
Munna Bhai: Pehle udhar jaaneka phir bolneka come here.
Circuit: Bhai yeh kaisa bolne ka – chale hat hawa aane de?
Munna Bhai: Simple hain Circuit, Bolne ka, “Hey u move sideways let the air force come in.”
Circuit: Bhai tum tho pass ho gayela bhai?
Munna Bhai: Yes bro I have just passed away.
Munna Bhai: Abhi tu bol “eh mamu bheja mat phira.”
Circuit: Mother’s brother don’t rotate my brain.
Munna Bhai: Yeh bol “Idhar aa khajhur detha hun karcha pani.” {kajhur yaane date}
Circiut: Come with me for a date I will pay you.
Munna Bhai: Ab yeh bol “Apun ko bahut sardi ho gayi hai.”
Circuit: I got big winter in small nose.
PROFESSOR: Gandhi Jayanti ke baray mein kya jante ho?
MUNNA BHAI: Gandhi bahut zabardast aadmi tha, Baap. Maa Kasam,
Par apun ko yeh nehin maloom ke yeh Jayanti kaun hai.
MUNNA BHAI: Circuit, bole toh yeh Ford kya hai?
CIRCUIT: Bhai, gaadi hai.
MUNNA BHAI: Toh phir, yeh Oxford kya hai?
CIRCUIT: Bole toh, simple hai bhai, Ox mane Bael, Ford mane gaadi. Oxford bole toh Baelgaadi.
CIRCUIT: Bhai, Bapu ne bola tha ke kabhi jhoot nehin bolna mangta hai.
Apun aaj se kabhi jhoot nehin bolega Bhai.
MUNNA BHAI: Aye Circuit, woh Sabrina ka baap aya hai tere ko dhund rehla hai.
CIRCUIT: Bhai usko bolo apun gaoon gayea hai, kheti karne ko.
MUNNA BHAI: Par Circuit, abhi to tu bola kabhi jhoot nehin bolega.
CIRCUIT: Bhai, apun jhoot nehin bolega, par tum to bol sakta hai na.
CIRCUIT: Bhai, apnay ko char mahinay mein Sindhi sikhna padega. Kuch hal batao.
MUNNA BHAI: Sindhi kyun, aur char mahinay ka kya chakkar hai?
CIRCUIT: Bhai, Mainay ek Sindhi baccha adopt kiya hai, aur woh char mahinay mein bolne lagay ga.
Circuit takes a flight to Singapore and he is seated next to an Englishman.
Circuit open his tiffin and serves himself a roti.
ENGLISHMAN: What is this?
CIRCUIT: Bread India.
Circuit then open the box of jalebi.
ENGLISHMAN: What is this?
CIRCUIT: Sweet India.
With all the food he hogged on, Munna farts.
The Englishman is offended and in shock asks …
ENGLISHMAN: What is that?
CIRCUIT: Air India.
MUNNA BHAI: Circuit, tereko malum hai, apun bachpan mein 20 maley ke building se gir gaya tha.
CIRCUIT: Aarey bhai, phir kya hua. Bach gaya ki tapak gaya?
MUNNA BHAI: Yaad nahin hai yaar. Bahut purani baat hai.
MUNNA BHAI: Mamu, tu kitna padha hai?
MAMU: B.A.
MUNNA BHAI: Sala, two lafz padha aur woh bhi ulta?
MUNNA BHAI: Oye Circuit, yeh sala light bulb pe baap ka naam kyu likh raha hai?
CIRCUIT: Bhai, Apun baap ka naam roshan kar rehle hai, Bhai.
PRINCIPAL: Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.
MUNNA BHAI: Boley to, Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu?
Munna bhai: Circuit MURGA & MURGI me diffrence kaise samajhne ka?
Circuit: Simple hai bhai..
Ek patthar marne ka, Agar BHAGA to MURGA or BHAGI to MURGI.
MUNNA BHAI: ABEY CIRCUT YE BARISH KE TIME BIJLI KYUN CHAMAKTI HAI RE?
CIRCUT: Bhai, bolay to upper wala torch maar kar dekhta hoga kahin sookha to nahi reh gaya.
MUNNA BHAI: Apun ka desh kaun chalata hai?
CIRCUIT: Bhai, simple hai… apna SMS.
MUNNA BHAI: Kya fekta hai?
CIRCUIT: Bhai sms bole to … Apna,
SARDAR MANMOHAN SINGH…
MUNNA BHAI: Ye Ramnavmi kyo manai jaati hai?
CIRCUIT: Arey simple hai Bhai…
Is din bhagwan RAM aathvi pass karke Navmi me gaye the.
After Finishing MBBS, Dr. Munna Starts his practice.
He 1st checks the patient’s eyes, tongue & ears with a Torch & finally declares
“BOLE TO…….. TORCH THEEEEK HAI, MAMU.”
Munna Bhai: Abay Circuit, Jaa baju walay ghar say Doctor ko bula ke laa, meri tabiat kharab ho reli hai.
Cirkit: Par Bhai,.. aap to khud doctor ho.
Munna Bhai: Bolay to meri fees buhat zyada hai na re.
Munna: Yaar Circuit, Ye Gandhiji Har note me haste kyu rehte hai?
Circuit: Simple hai bhai! Royenge to note gila ho jaye ga.
Munna Bhai: Aay circuit, baapu bole toh gandhi ji kapde kyu nahi pehantay thay?
Circuit: Bhai bole toh bapu bhi us time ke Salmaan Khan hoyenge!!!
Exam’s song by Munna bhai:
Chanda Mama so Gaye,
Student sarey jage.
Dekho pakdo yaron,
Ghadi ke kaante bhaage.
Ek pariksha khatam,to duji
Shuru ho gayi MAAMU.
Munna Bhai: Bolay to Apun ko tera operation dobara karna paray ga.
Kyun ke apun kay rubber ke gloves teray andar hi reh gaye hain.
Patient: Agar yeh baat hai to mujhay jaanay do. Mien tumharay gloves ki payment kar doon ga.
Circuit: Bhai Jail Ko Hindi Me Hawalaat kyun Kehte Hain?
Munna Bhai: Kyunki Jail Mein Khane Ko Sirf Hawa Aur Laat Hi Milti Hai.
Munna bhai: American rastrapati sala kaha rehta hai?
Circut: Bhai, Dhobigath pe.
Munna bhai: Dhobigath bole to?
Circut: Bhai englih main usko “Washington” kehte hai.
Munna Bhai: Circuit, apun k mind me 1 laucha chal rela he, ye Bagla 1 tang utha k kase ko sota he?
Circuit: aray simple hai Bhai, bolay to agar Bagla dosri tang bhi utha lega to gir jai ga na, Bhai.
Teacher to circuit: Munna bhai ne raat ko khana khaya, is sentence ka future tense banao.
Circuit: Munna bhai subah potty karega.
Munna Bhai: Circuit apun ko 1 Nurse se Pyar ho gayela hai, luv Letter me kya Likhu?
Circuit: Simple hai Bhai, Likhne ka “DEAR SISTER I LOV U “MUNNA BHAI”
MUNNA BHAI: Circuit agar bina daant wala kutta kate to kya karne ka re?
CIRCUIT: Simple he Bhai, bina sui wala injection lene ka!!!
MUNNA BHAI visits Mysore palace.
CIRCUIT: Bhai us kursi par mat baithna.
Munna Bhai: Kaiku?
CIRCUIT: Wo tipu sultan ki he bhai.
Munna Bhai: Tension kaiku leta he re maamu? Aayega to uth jaunga re, I shappath !!!
LECTURER: Write a note on Gandhi Jayanti.
CIRCUIT WRITES: Gandhi was a great man, but maa kasam I don’t know who is Jayanti. Koi locha-lafda hoga buddhe ka!
Munna Bhai: Ae Circuit ye Dr. log opration se pehle patient ko behosh kyun karte hai?
Circuit: Bhai! Bole to patient opration sikh gaya to Dr. Logo ki to wat lag jayegi na.
Circuit: Bhai, apun ne kal Sania Mirza se phone pe baat ki.
Munna bhai: Arre wah, kya kaha usne.
Circuit: Usne kaha, Mamu wrong number!!
Munn Bhai: College ka fulform kya hota he Circuit?
Circuit: Boleto Bhai,
C-come
O-on
L-love
L-lets
E-every
G-girl
E-every day
Bhai!!
Good Night in Munna Bhai Style:
Chand fekta hai light,
Boleto hogayi hai night,
To band karneka light,
Sojane ka tight,
Samje Tubelight,
Boleto Good Night.
Munna Aur Circuit Jurassic Park Dekhne Jaate Hai.
Munna Bhai: Circuit Tu Kyon Darta Hai, Film hi Toh Hai.
CIRCUIT: Bhai Apne Ko Pata hai yeh Film Hai, Tumko pata hai ke yeh Film hai, Lekin Us bechare Jaanwar Ko Thodi pata hai ki yeh film hai.
Munna Bhai: Arre Circuit apne rikshaw se ek pahiya kyun nikaal raha hai.
Circuit: Arre bhai, bole toh yahan board laga hai. Parking for 2 wheelers only.
Munna bhai: “Circuit, agar bus pe tu chade, ya fir tujpe bus chad Jaye to kya hoga”!!
Circuit: “Bole to Bhai, dono baar ticket apna hi katega.”
Professor: Munna, Batao Akal badi ya bhais?
Muna Bhai: Bole to pahle date of birth bata Mamu.
Munna Bhai: Abey Circuit Agar Maa Ke Charno Me Jannat Hoti Hai To Nani Ke Charno Me Kya Hoti Hai?
Circuit: Simple Hai Bhai,.. Nani Ke Charno Me Jannat 2 Hoti Hai.
Circuit: Bhai Ek Rikshaw Me Ek Takli Aurat Beitraily He Use English Me Kya Kahate Hai??
Munnabhai: Simple hai re circuit, Usko bolneka “Autometacly”
Munna Bhai Aur Circuit Shikar Per Jate Hai Circuit Ko Ek Mor Dikhta Hai…
Circuit: Bhai….. mor… mor..”
Munna Bhai Mor Ko Goli Mar Ke Kehta Hai: ”No More!”
Munna Bhai Ke Ghar Ladki Hue.
Circuit: Bhai Ab To Muhale Ke, Sare Ladke Isko Line Marenge.
Munna Bhai: Tu Fikar Mat Kar Re, Apun Iska Naam “Didi” Rakhenge.
Munna Bhai: Chand Pe Pahla Kadam Kisne Rakha?
Circiut: Bhai! Niel Armstrom Ne!
Munna Bhai: Aur Dusra?
CIRCUIT: Kya Bhai? Dusra Bhi Usinech Rakha Hoyenga Na, Langda Thodi Tha Wo.
Munna Bhai: Teray ko maaloom hai ke cigarette aik tarah say slow poison ka kaam karti hai?
Patient: To mujhay konsa marnay ki jaldi hai bhai.
Munna Bhai: Meray paas aik buri khabar hai, aur aik buhat hi buri khabar hai teray wastay.
Patient: Acha to pehlay buri khabar suna daal.
Munna Bhai: Apun ke paas jo teri report pahunchi us me likha tha ke teray paas sirf 24 ghantay hain zinda rehnay ke liye.
Patient: Sirf 24 ghantay, is say buri khabar kya ho sakti hai.
Munna Bhai: (Jadu ki Japhhi Dalte Huye) Mein kal say teray tak pahunchnay ki koshish kar raha hoon.
CIRCUIT: Bhai, who apnay bachpan ka dost aarehla aaj raat ko dinner pe. Mera Sara chain collection apnay kamray mein chupa do na please.
MUNNABHAI: Kyun tera dost chor hai kya?
CIRCUIT: Nahin Bhai, who apnay chain pehchan lega na.
