Titanic was sinking.
An englishman asked Santa, “How far is land”?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction?
Two days of powercut in Delhi had made life miserable.
Worst affected was Delhi Metro station where families of Santa & Banta were struck for 48 hrs on escalators.
How did santa tried to kill a bird?
He took it to the top of a building and dropped it from there to die.
Santa: I have swallowed a kay.
Santa: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.
Santa was drawing money from ATM.
Banta, who was just behind him in the line said: I’ve seen ur password. It’s ****.
Santa: U r wrong. It’s 1394.
Santa falls in love with a nurse…
After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: “I love u sister.”
Santa asked Banta: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening?
Banta: Very simple, because he is PM not AM.
Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?
Banta: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.
A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again,
Santa replies: I’m coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.
Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatos 5 days ago, he hasn’t came back yet!
Santa: Why don’t u cook something else?
An Englishman and santa inside the toilet.
Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Santa: Good evening, we open the zip and do!
Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went there. You know why?
Because he opened petrol pump on second floor..
Ultimate answer while changing the job.
Interviewer: Why did you changed your last job?
Santa: Because the company shifted and didn’t tell me where.
Santa and Banta went for a drive.
Santa: Hey, look out from the window, are the indicators working or not?
Banta puts his head out & says “Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No!!!”
Santa’s wife died.
He is calm, but his wife’s lover is crying furiously…
Finally, santa consoles him: Don’t worry buddy, I will marry again.
Why did santa keep the door open while bathing?
Because he was afraid that someone might watch him from the key hole.
Santa phoned his wife: I am not coming home. The steering, dash board, gears of car have been stolen.
After sometime he calls again: I am coming, earlier I sat on the back seat.