Santa : Why did the man put his radio in his refrigerator?
Banta : I give up.
Santa : Stupid, because he wanted to hear cool music.
Jasmeet : “Your honor, I want to divorce my husband Santa.”
Judge : “But why?”
Jasmeet : “Because he is not faithful to me.”
Judge : “How do you know ?”
Jasmeet : “My lord, not a single child resembles him.”
From his death bed, Santa called his wife Jasmeet and said,
“One month after I die I want you to marry Banta.”
Jasmeet : “Banta ! But he is your enemy!”
Santa : “Yes, I know that! I’ve suffered all these years so let him suffer now.”
Banta : I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife Preeto that I’d be home tonight, and when I got into my room I found Preeto in another man’s arms.
Santa : kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said, “Maybe, she didn’t get the fax.”
Santa : “When we were first married, I would come home from the office, Jasmeet would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it’s all different, I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking.”
Banta : “Why complain?, You’re still getting the same service!”
Preeto : “My neighbour is always speaking ill of her husband, but look at me, my husband is foolish, lazy and a coward; but have I ever said anything bad about him?”
Jasmeet drew Santa’s attention to the couple next door and said, “Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don’t you do that?”
Santa : “I would love to, “But I don’t know her well enough… may be you could introduce us..!”
Santa : “When my wife is infuriated, she starts shouting at me, my children and even at our dogs and nobody dares answer her.”
Banta : “And when you are angry, what do you do?”
Santa : “I also shout angrily at the windows and doors of the house and none of them dares to answer back.”
Jasmeet : My husband always comes home late, no matter how I try.
Preeto : “Take my advice, and do what I did. Once my husband came home at three o’clock in the morning, and from my bed I called out: “Is that you, Jaspal?” And that cured him.
Jasmeet : “Cured him !… But how?”
Preeto : “You know, his name is Banta.”
Santa : “You looked troubled, what’s your problem?”
Banta : “I’m going to be a father.”
Santa : “But that’s wonderful,”
Banta : “What’s wonderful? My wife Preeto doesn’t know about it yet.”
It was mealtime on Punjab Airline.
Air Hostess : “Would you like dinner?”
Banta : “What are my choices?”
Air Hostess : “Yes or no,”
Jasmeet : You always carry my photo in your wallet to the office. Why?
Santa : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Jasmeet : You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Santa : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, “What other problem can there be greater than this one?”
Santa : “Would you have married me if my father hadn’t left me a fortune?”
Jasmeet : “Honey, I’d have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE.”
Jasmeet : “What do you like most in me: my pretty face or my body?”
Santa : looking at her from head to toe and replied: “I like your sense of Humor”.
Santa went to a STD/ISD/PCO SHOP and slapped the operator twice. Guess why ?
because there it was written “Number Dial Karne Se Pehele Do Lagae”
Santa was driving with girlfriend Preeto to Chandigarh.
He puts his hand on her lap.
She smiles and says, “You can go further dear…”
So, Santa drives to SHIMLA.