Friday, November 16, 2018
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Tag: Bad Jokes

Rude Joke: Bus Driver Insults A Passenger's Baby
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. With a grimace, the bus driver says, "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman, fuming, walks to the rear of the bus and sits down. Unable to contain her rage any longer, she turns to the man sitting next to her and vents: "That driver just insulted me!" The man, understanding, replies emphatically, "You go...
Hilarious Fart Joke: A Woman Goes To Her Boyfriend's Parents House For Dinner
A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no...
Hilarious Joke: The Suspicious Father And His Three Beautiful Teenage Daughters
There once was a farmer whose wife had died and left him with three beautiful teenage daughters. Every weekend, when they went out on dates, the farmer would stand at the door with his shotgun, making it clear to their dates he wanted no trouble from them. Another Saturday night came around. At about 7pm., there was a knock on the door. He answered and...
Bad Arrogant Joke: The Prudish Son and the Sausage Factory
There once was a man who owned a sausage factory, and he was showing his arrogant preppy son around his factory. Try as he might to impress his snobbish son, his son would just sneer. They approached the heart of the factory, where the father thought, "this should impress him!" He showed his son a machine and said: "Son, this is the heart of the...
Innocent Divorce Joke: A Mom Is Driving A Little Girl To Her Friends House For A Play Date
A Mom is driving a little girl to her friends house for a play date. "Mommy," the little girl asks, "How old are you?" "Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age," the mother warns. "It is not polite." "OK," the little girl says, "How much do you weigh?" "Now really," the mother says, "These are personal questions and are really...
Hilarious Joke: Preparing For The Funeral
When old Mr. O'Leary died, an elaborate wake was planned. In preparation, Mrs. O'Leary called the undertaker aside for a private little talk. "Please be sure to fasten his toupee to his head very securely. No one but I knew he was bald," she confided, "and he'd never rest in peace if anyone found out at this point. Our friends from the old country...
A little boy wakes up three nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents' room. Finally one morning he goes to his mom and says, "Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noises and when I look in your bedroom you're bouncing up and down on him." His mom is taken by surprise and...
At a bar, Archie approaches Zoe, a pretty girl drinking by herself. He tries to make conversation, offers to buy her a drink, when suddenly she yells, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight, you pig!" Everyone in the bar stops and stares. Completely embarrassed, Archie slinks back to his table with a red face. After a few minutes, Zoe walks over to him...
Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the...
Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched with horror as her ball headed directly towards a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of them and he immediately fell to the ground clutching his hands together to his groin, rolling around in obvious agony. The woman rushed over and immediately began to apologize. "Please allow me...
A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying, "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa." The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye Grandpa?"... The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do" The next day...
As the crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a five-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum. No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down, the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the seats around him. Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, an...
Two priests were going to Hawaii on vacation and decided that they would make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, and so on. The next morning they went to the beach, dressed in...
Little Johnny comes home from sunday school with a black eye. His father sees it and says, "Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with the other boys?" "But Dad, it wasn't my fault. We were all in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of me had her dress...
John dies and passes on to the afterlife he comes to, looks around and finds himself in what looks like the dirtiest alley of the world's worst urban center. As he's trying to come to terms with what's happening he hears a voice say, "Hey there old friend, fancy meeting you here." John looks up and sees his old friend...
A guy and his wife went to an expensive golf course. He said to his wife, "Be careful of the expensive houses around us. I don't know if we can afford to break a window." His wife tees off and breaks the biggest window of the most expensive looking house. He said, "Oh no! We had better go ask how much it's...
Funny Husband Joke: A Man Stumbles Across An Old Lamp
A man stumbles across an old lamp while he was at his attorney's office. Figuring his luck has to change, he rubs the lamp and out pops a genie. The genie explains to him that he gets three wishes, and whatever he wishes for, his wife gets double. The man asks for his first wish. "The first thing I want is a million...