Thursday, January 24, 2019
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Hilarious Dirty Surprise Joke Of The Day: After Love Who Is He?
After a long night of making love the young guy rolled over,... was looking around when he noticed a framed picture of another man on a desk in the distance. Naturally, the guy began to worry. "Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously. "No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend then?" he asked. "No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at...
Hilarious Bad Joke Of The Day: Trusted Friend & Wrong Key
All the good knights were leaving for the Crusades. One knight told his best friend, "My bride is without doubt one of the most beautiful women in the world. It would be a terrible waste if no man could have her. Therefore, as my best and most trusted friend, I am leaving you the key to her chastity belt to use should I not...
Most Hilarious Dirty Non Veg Army Joke Of The Day: Heriditary
Two brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their physicals. During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both of them possessed incredibly long, oversized penises. "How do you account for this?" he asked the brothers. "It's hereditary, sir," the older one replied. "I see," said the doctor, writing in his file. "Your father's the reason for your elongated penises?" "No sir, our...
Bad Hilarious Non Veg Joke Of The Day: Men Will Try Everything
A Canadian salesman checked into a futuristic hotel in Tokyo Japan. Realising he needed a haircut before the next day's meeting he called down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the premises. "I'm afraid not, sir," the clerk told him apologetically, "but down the hall from your room is a robot vending machine that should serve your...
Hilarious New Joke Of The Day: Who is Doctor's Best Patient?
Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients on the operating table. The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded." The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside...
Hilarious Naughty Old Man Joke Of The Day: Elderly Man's Confession
An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues: Man: "I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them three times." Priest: "Are you sorry for your sins?" Man: "What sins? " Priest: "What kind...
Hilarious Adult Irish Humor Joke: Married Irishman's Confession On Affair
A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, "I almost had an affair with another woman." The priest said, "What do you mean, almost?" The Irishman said, "Well, we got undressed, naked and rubbed together, but then I stopped." The priest said, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your...
Hilarious Non Veg Bad Dirty Joke: Three Friends in Jungle & Fruit Of Labour
Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits. The first one came...
Hilariously Naughty Little Johnny Bad Joke: The Polite Way to Pee
During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question: 'Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?' Michael said: 'Just a minute I have to go pee.' The teacher responded by saying: 'That would...
Hilarious Dark Humor Joke Of The Day: Kind Lawyer & Poor Family
One afternoon a Lawyer was driving home,... when he saw a man eating grass by the side of the road "Why are doing that?" the lawyer asked. "I don't have any money for food" the man replied. "Oh, then you must come with me". "But, Sir, I have a wife and five children." "They are all welcome". So the family got in the lawyer's car and...
Hilarious Animals Non Veg Long Dirty Joke: How's Your Day Been Ducks?
This guy walks into a quiet bar. He is carrying three ducks. One in each hand and one under his left arm. He places them on the bar. He has a few drinks and chats with the bartender. The bartender is experienced and has learned not to ask people about the animals that they bring into the bar, so he doesn't mention the ducks. They...
Bad Joke Of The Day: Couple Were Waiting Their 16 Year Old Son
A couple were sitting up waiting for their 16 year old son to come home from a social engagement,.. when the boy came into the house with a big smile on his face. "Hi, Mum! Hi, Dad! he said breathlessly,.. "Guess what! I've just had sex for the first time, and it was wonderful!" His mother turned red and said to her husband,.. "He's...
Hilarious Bad Dirty Non Veg Joke Of The Day: Defective Parrot
A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?" The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot." "Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!" "I got every word," says...
Hilarious Best Non Veg Joke Of The Day: Blind Man & Land Lady
A handsome blind person was allowed to stay as a paying guest by a lonely land lady. Being blind, he was considered as harmless creature free to move any where in the house. Once he comes back to house from out side. The moment he enters the house he starts shouting happily and searching the land lady in the house. He is asks...
Hilarious Government Job Dirty Joke: Canada Post Employment
A guy goes to Canada Post to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him "Are you allergic to anything?" He says "Yes, just caffeine." "Have you ever been in the service?" the interviewer asks. "Yes," he says, "I was in Afghanistan for two years." The interviewer says "That will give you 5 extra points toward employment here." He then asks, "Are you disabled in...
Hilarious Bad Non Veg Dirty Joke Of The Day: Annal Deodorant
A man walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist for some rectal deodorant. The pharmacist explains to the man they don't sell rectal deodorant and that in fact he's never heard of it before. The man assures the pharmacist that he has been buying the stuff from this store for years and needs some more. "I'm sorry", says the pharmacist, "we...
Best Hilarious Dark Non Veg Dirty Army Joke: Bonus Payments
The Pentagon recently found it had too many generals and offered an early retirement bonus. They promised any general who retired straight away would get his full annual benefits plus 10,000 Dollars for every inch measured in a straight line between any two parts of the general's body, with the general getting to select any pair of points he wished. The...
Hilarious Dirty Mind Joke: Two Statues, One Female & One Male
In a city park stood two naked statues, one female and the other male. These two statues faced each other for many years. Early one morning, an angel appeared before the statues and said,.. "Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people,.. I am giving you your greatest wish. I hereby give you the gift...
Best Hilarious Bad Dirty Non Veg Joke Of The Day: Mosasa Sperm
Out of a bunch of millions of sperms, there was this one sperm named Mosasa. Mosasa was always trying to keep his fitness, jogging, lifting weights, and even swimming. And when his friends asked him why was he doing these things he said,.. "only one of us will meet the egg and make a baby, and I want to be that one...
Hilarious Bad Joke: Little Girl & Father's Sudden Bizarre Knowledge
A little girl runs out to the backyard where her father is working and asks him,... "Daddy what's sex?" Her father sits her down and tells her all about the birds and the bees. He tells her about conception, sexual intercourse, sperms and eggs. He goes on to tell her about puberty, menstruation, erection, wet-dreams... and he thinks, what the hell, and goes on...
Hilarious Joke Of The Day: Friends Advice On Vacation Every Year
Two Rednecks, Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earlene got pregnant. Then two years...
Hilarious Non Veg Joke: Young Man Asked Doctor For Virginity Test
A young man was planning to get married,.. and asked his doctor how he could tell if his bride is a virgin. The doctor said, "Well, you need three things,.. A can of red paint, a can of blue paint and a shovel.." The man was astonished and asked, "So what do I do with these?" The doctor replied: "Before the wedding night,.. you paint...
Hilarious Best Joke Of The Day: Effiecency Of The Restaurant Staff
A timeless lesson on how consultants can make a difference for an organization. Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant,... and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt...
Hilarious Bad Joke Of The Day: Perception of Husband & Wife
Two women are chatting in office. Woman 1: I had $ex last night, did you? Woman 2: Yes. Woman 1: Was it good? Woman 2: No, it was a disaster... My husband came home, ate his dinner in three minutes, got on top of me, finished having $ex in five minutes, rolled over and fell asleep in two minutes. How was yours? Woman 1: Oh it was...
Hilarious Non Veg PC Humor Joke: Naughty Husband, Wife & New Computer
A woman was helping her husband set up his new computer and,... at the appropriate point in the process, she told him that he would now need to enter a password. Something he could remember easily and would use each time he had to log on. The husband was a bit bored by the process and, feeling in a rather amorous mood, figured...
Hilarious Joke: How God Created Man After Listening Eve's Side Of The Story
After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. 'So, how is everything going?' inquired God. 'It is all so beautiful, God,' she replied. 'The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem. It's these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I...
Hilarious Joke: Poor Jewish Man And His Good Deeds For Heaven
A very good and pious Jew, Samuel Goldberg, man dies and immediately goes to heaven. The angel at the gate greets him and tells him that he can't admit him to heaven. When Mr. Goldberg asks why, the angel replies, "Well, this is a little embarrassing. You see, as I look at your record, for all intents and purposes, you have no...