Monday, April 22, 2019
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Hilarious Dirty Husband Wife Joke Of The Day: I Like Your Beard
A married man was visiting his "girlfriend", When she requested that he shave his beard. "Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face." James replied, "My wife loves this beard. I couldn't possibly do it. She would kill me!!" "Oh please?" the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice... "Really, I can't," he replied. "My wife loves...
Hilarious Dirty Husband Wife Best Joke: No More Bad Headaches?
A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those Headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone." "No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?" His wife replies, Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me To Stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat,... "I do not Have a Headache; I do not have a headache, I do not...
Best Dirty Joke Of The Day: Bad Woman & Her Daytime Affair
A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One wet and lusty day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway. "Oh my God - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband's home early!" "I can't jump out the window, It's...
Hilarious Dirty Lawyer Best Joke Of The Day: Certain Things In Life
The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 40s or early 50s. "May I help you?" she asked. "I want to see Valerie," the man replied. "Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else," said the madam. "No. I must see Valerie," was the man's reply. Just...
Best Dirty Non Veg Joke Of The Day: Honest Girl & Virgin Husband
A very 'straight and honest' girl is going to Town. Before she left, her mother gave her some advice: "Daughter, when you're in Town and if you're looking for a match there,... you must take note of the following the requirements mother set for you. You must find a man that is 'faithful', 'thrifty' and must be a 'virgin'." With this advice from her...
Hilarious Bad Comedy Joke Of The Day: Women & Hardware Store
Bob was fixing a door and he found that he needed a new hinge,.. So he sent his wife Mary to the hardware store. At the hardware store, Mary saw a beautiful teapot on a top shelf while she was waiting for Carl, the manager, to finish waiting on a customer. When Carl was finished, Mary asked: "How much for the teapot?" Carl replied:...
Best Dirty Joke Of The Day: World's Most Embarrassing Moments
There was a World wide survey of "Most Embarrassing Moment in human life" the finale had the following three incidents... Third Place "It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we...
Hilariously Good Non Veg Joke Of The Day: SMART TIT FOR TAT
A very shy young man goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting alone. After an hour he gathers enough courage to go and ask her, "Er... excuse me, but would you mind if I sat here beside you?" She responds in a loud voice : "NO, I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!" Everyone in the bar turns to...
Hilarious Non Veg Joke Of The Day: Old Best Friends & Their Sons
Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party. After several drinks, one of the men had to use the restroom. Those who remained talked about their kids. The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and...
Hilariously Best Friends Bad Joke Of The Day: It Could Have Been Worse
Three friends had a very good friend named Joe and he was, naturally, an eternal optimist. At every bad situation he would always say "It could have been worse." His friends hated that quality about him, So they came up with a story so horrible that not even Joe could come up with a bright side. So the next day, only two of his...
Wow! Technology: Hilariously Comedy Bad Joke Of The Day
A guy walks into a bar and sits down. He starts dialing numbers... Like a telephone... On his hand and talking into his hand. The bartender walks over and tells him this is a very tough neighborhood and he doesn't need any trouble here. The guy says, "You don't understand. I'm very hi-tech. I had a phone installed in my hand because I...
Best Joke: On His Birthday, A Man Named Peter Was Really Upset
On his Birthday,... A man named Peter was really upset because none of his family members or near and dear ones wished him. As he walked into his office,... His secretary Anna said,... "Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!" He felt a bit better knowing that at least someone remembered. In the lunch time Anna knocked on his door and said,... "You know,...
Hilarious Joke: 3 Guys Go To Hell, There They Meet The Devil
Three guys go to hell,... When they get there, they meet the devil, who tells them there's a way to get to heaven. The Devil explains that behind 3 doors are tasks that they must each complete,... In whatever order they want, to go to heaven. Door 1 is a room with 10 virgin ladies, the task is to make them all orgasm...
Hilarious Dirty Joke: Two People Find Themselves Celebrating
A chicken farmer went to a local bar,... sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman perked up and said, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!" "What a coincidence," the farmer said. "This is a special day for me; I am celebrating." "This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating," Said the...
Hilarious Joke: Wife Decides To Give Birthday Surprise To Husband
A wife decides to take her husband, Dave, to a strip club for his birthday. They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin'?" His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team." When they are seated,... A waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual and brings...
Hilarious Dirty Joke: Husband, Wife And Laptop Password
A woman helps her husband to set up a new laptop. Once it is completed, She tells him to select a password, Selecting a word that he'll always remember. As the computer asks him to enter it, He looks at his wife and with a macho gesture and a wink in his eye, He types "mypen*s". As he hits "enter" to validate the selection, His wife collapses...
Hilarious Dirty Joke: The Woman, The Merlot And The Refusal
A man enters his favorite ritzy restaurant, and while sitting at his regular table,... He notices a gorgeous woman sitting at a table nearby all alone. He calls the waiter over and asks for their most expensive bottle of Merlot to be sent over to her,... knowing that if she accepts it, she is his for the night. The waiter gets the bottle...
Hilarious Dirty Joke: Teacher v/s Little Johnny In Maths Class
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun,... How many would be left?" "None," replied Johnny, "Cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking." Little Johnny...
Hilarious Bad Celebrity Joke Of The Day: Alone With a Scarlett on Island
After a terrible cruise shipwreck, famous beauty and actress Scarlett Johansson finds herself alone on a deserted island. Hours pass, and only one other man makes it to the island with her, and some guy were the only survivors of a shipwreck. They didn't know each other before the shipwreck, but he did know who she was, of course. At the beginning...
Hilarious Naughty Joke Of The Day: James Bond In Heaven
M sends James Bond on a secret mission to heaven. When M doesn't hear from Bond for over a day, he gets worried and calls up heaven. The Virgin Mary picks up the phone and says "Virgin Mary speaking." M asks her if Bond has reached there yet. She replies that he hasn't. M waits another few hours and calls heaven back again. "Virgin Mary speaking,"...
Hilarious Madam Vs Maid Bad Naughty Joke: Good Pay Raise
The Maid asked for a pay raise. Madam was very upset about this and asked: "Now Maria, why do you want an increase?" Maria: "Well Madam, there are three reasons why I want an increase. The first is that I iron better than you." Madam: "Who said you iron better than me?" Maria: "The Master said so." Madam: "Oh." Maria: "The second reason is that I...
Hilarious Good Comedy Old Biker Joke Of The Day: Hand Job
A crusty old biker, on a summer ride in the country, walks into a tavern and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads: CHEESEBURGER: $1.50 CHICKEN SANDWICH: $2.50 HAND JOB: $1000 Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive female bartender serving drinks to a meager looking group of farmers. "Yes?" she...
Hilarious Best Comedy Animal Joke: Bear, Rabbit & Magical Frog
One day, down in the mystical forest, a magical frog was hopping towards a water hole. The forest was so enormous that the frog had never laid eyes on another animal before. But today, by chance a bear was chasing after a rabbit to have for dinner. The frog called for the two to stop and said, "Because you are the only two...
Hilarious Dirty Non Veg Joke Of The Day: Best Mediclaim Couple
A couple went to a sex therapists office at ABC Hospital. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?" The man said, "Will you watch us having sex, for your expert analysis?" The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse," and charged them 500/-. This happened several weeks in a...
Hilarious Bad Nurse Joke Of The Day: Size - Does It Matter?
A young man was so paranoid about the size of his penis that he could never work up the courage to have sex. Then one day he fell in love with a nurse. One fine evening, they went back to her place. She put on some soft music and led him into the bedroom. Totally mortified, he told her of his problem. "Don't worry,"...
Hilarious Non Veg Hospital Joke Of The Day: The New Age Baby
Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm together and have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated with it. When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital. A dozen babies are in the ward, eleven of whom are crying and screaming. Over in the corner, one baby is smiling serenely. A nurse comes by, and to the delight of...
Hilarious Best Dirty Mind Joke Of The Day: Two Nuns & A Man
There were Two Nuns. One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent. SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants. SL: It's logical....