Monday, June 10, 2019
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Hilariously Best Women Joke Of The Day: New Husband Store
A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City,... Where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch... You...
Good Naughty Humor: Married Woman's Ultimate Fantasy In Three Words
A woman (mom) was sitting at a bar enjoying a cocktail after work one night, when the bar door opened and the most gorgeous hunk of a man she had ever seen entered. He was tall, muscular, and handsome, with thick dark hair and beautiful, sparkling green eyes, and his every movement was so masculine and sensuous that the woman could not...
Hilarious Dirty Parrots Joke Of The Day: Who Needs Prayers?
Joke Title: Who Needs Prayers? A lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing. They keep saying "Hi, we're hot. Do you want a date?" "That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed. "But I do have a solution to your problem. Bring your two parrots over to my...
Hilarious Best Friendship Joke Of The Day: Honesty is Best Policy
Jack decided to go skiing with his best friend buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night. "I realize it's terrible weather out there and...
Best Hilarious Pregnancy Humor Every Women Must Read: The Washcloth
Joke Title: The Washcloth This has to be read, laughed at and passed on. There is not a woman alive today who won't crack up over this! This is a real incident, and no its not me so ignore the I's and me's. I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call...
Hilarious Bad Joke Of The Day: Little Johnny & Sunday School
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?" When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "God Almighty!" shouted Mary and the teacher...
Best Hilarious Housewife Joke Of The Day: Bad Day & Phone Call
The worried housewife sprang to the telephone when it rang and listened with relief to the kindly voice in her ear. "How are you, darling?" it said. "What kind of a day are you having?" "Oh, mother," said the housewife, breaking into bitter tears, "I've had such a bad day. The baby won't eat and the washing machine broke down. I haven't had...
Best Hilarious Adam, Eve & God Joke: Why Women Are Stupid?
After spending time with Eve, Adam was walking in the Garden with God. Adam told God how much the woman means to him and how blessed he feels to have her. Adam began to ask questions about her. Adam: Lord, Eve is beautiful. Why did you make her so beautiful? God: So you will always want to look at her. Adam: Lord, her skin...
Hilarious Best Psychiatrists Joke Of The Day: Doctors Meeting
A group of psychiatrists were attending a convention. Four of them decided to leave, and walked out together. One said to the other three, "People are always coming to us with their guilt and fears, but we have no one that we can go to when we have problems." The others agreed. Then one said, "Since we are all professionals, why don't we take some...
Best Marriage Humor: A Man and A Woman Sleeping in Train
A man and a woman, who had never met before, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two were tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper bunk and she in the lower. At 2:00 AM, he leaned over and gently wakes the woman, saying, "Ma'am,...
Hilarious Husband Wife Clean Joke Of The Day: Bank Robbery
A man walks into a Bank, gets in line, and when it was his turn he pulls out a gun ... and robs the Bank! ... But just to make sure he leaves no witnesses, he turns around and asks the next customer in line: "Did you see me rob this Bank?" The customer replies ..... "YES" The bank robber raises his gun POINTS IT...
Hilarious Old Man VS Young Man Best Joke: The Generation Gap
A very self-important college freshman attending a recent football game,.. ...Took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation. "You grew up in a different world, actually an almost primitive one!" The student said, loud enough for many of those nearby to hear. "The young people...
Hilarious Bad Joke Of The Day: Dad, Baby & Cup Of Tea
One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me. I was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident. Someone had given me a little "tea set" as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys. Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought...
Hilarious Best Drunkard Joke Of The Day: The Talking Clock
One late night after bar time a drunk guy is showing some friends around his brand new apartment. The last stop is the bedroom, where a big brass gong sits next to the bed. "What's that gong for?" the friend asks him. "It's not a gong," the drunk replies. "It's a talking clock." "How does it work?" The guys picks up a hammer, gives the...
Joke Of The Day: Old Lady Asked Her Best Friend For A Favor
Two 90-year-old women, Bertha and Betty, had been best friends all of their lives. When it was clear that Bertha was dying, Betty visited her every day. One day Betty said,.. "Bertha, we both loved playing softball all our lives, and we played all through high school. Please do me one favor: When you get to heaven, somehow you must let me know...
Hilarious Joke: 3 Guys Go To Hell, There They Meet The Devil
Three guys go to hell,... When they get there, they meet the devil, who tells them there's a way to get to heaven. The Devil explains that behind 3 doors are tasks that they must each complete,... In whatever order they want, to go to heaven. Door 1 is a room with 10 virgin ladies, the task is to make them all orgasm...
Hilarious Joke: An Atheist, The Lord & Wild Bear In The Jungle
A photographer, who was also a confirmed atheist,.. Decided to go into the woods to capture photos of the fall foliage. It was a beautiful day: fall colors, birds chirping, a babbling brook,... And a gentle breeze rustling the leaves. While snapping shots, the photographer heard a noise behind him,... And whirled around to see a huge bear coming through the bushes. He dropped his...
Clean Office Joke: A Young Programmer & His Project Manager
A young Programmer and his Project Manager board a train,... Headed through the mountains on its way to Wichita. They can find no place to sit except for two seats,.. Right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother. After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young programmer are interested in each other,.. Because they are giving...
Hilarious Joke: Sixteen Year-Old Boy & New Chevrolet Avalanche
A sixteen year-old teenager boy came home with a new Chevrolet Avalanche, And his parents began to yell and scream,... "Where did you get that truck?!" He calmly told them, "I bought it today." "With what money?" Demanded his parents. They knew what a Chevrolet Avalanche cost. "Well," said the boy, "This one cost me just fifteen dollars." So the parents began to yell even louder. "Who would sell a...
Clean Family Joke: Couple Had Been Married For Over 50 Years
A couple had been married for over 50 years and had many children and grandchildren. One day, the eldest son calls his father for a normal chat and his father starts musing. "You know son, after 50 years, I'm not really in love with your mother any more,... I'm thinking of getting a divorce and leaving her." The son is absolutely shocked and...
Hilarious New Joke Of The Day: Who is Doctor's Best Patient?
Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients on the operating table. The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded." The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside...
Hilarious Joke: Three Old Brothers Age 92, 94 & 96 Live In A House Together
Three elderly brothers age 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath, puts his foot in and pauses. He yells down the stairs,... "Was I getting in or out of the bath?" The 94 year old yells back,... "I don't know, I'll come up and see." He starts up the stairs and pauses, then he...
Hilarious Joke: A Lawyer Had Just Bought A Fancy New Car
A lawyer had just bought a fancy new car,... And was eager to show it off to his colleagues, When an eighteen wheeler came out of nowhere and took off the driver's side door with him standing right there. "NOOO!" he screamed, Because he knew that no matter how good a mechanic tried to fix it, it would never be the same. Finally, a...
Hilarious Dirty Joke: Teacher v/s Little Johnny In Maths Class
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun,... How many would be left?" "None," replied Johnny, "Cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking." Little Johnny...
Smart Husband Joke: A Man Stumbles Across An Old Genie Lamp
A man stumbles across an old lamp while he was at his attorney's office. Figuring his luck has to change, he rubs the lamp and out pops a genie. The genie explains to him that he gets three wishes,... And whatever he wishes for, his wife gets double. The man asks for his first wish. "The first thing I want is a million dollars." The...
Hilarious Best Lawyer Joke Of The Day: Coats Business
Jacob was in coats business, but unfortunately business was very bad. One day his partner James said to him, "What are we going to do with these fifty coats? They're last year's style and even though we've knocked them down to $100 each, we still can't sell any." Jacob replied, "Use your head, James. Price them at $200 and send 10 of...
Hilarious Best Non Veg Joke Of The Day: Blind Man & Land Lady
A handsome blind person was allowed to stay as a paying guest by a lonely land lady. Being blind, he was considered as harmless creature free to move any where in the house. Once he comes back to house from out side. The moment he enters the house he starts shouting happily and searching the land lady in the house. He is asks...