Wednesday, October 16, 2019
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Hilariously Stupid Joke: Three Drunk Men Getting In A Taxi
Three drunken guys entered a taxi after a heavy night of drinking. Immediately realizing that the men were inebriated,... Cab driver quickly thought up a plan to get rid of them. He started the engine, turned it off again and said: "We have reached your destination". "Alright pal, here you go," Said the first guy as he gave him the money. The second guy thanked him...
Joke Of The Day: Elderly Couple Was Just Settled Down For Bed
An elderly couple was just settled down for bed,... When the old man realized he left the lights on in the greenhouse in the back yard. Then they heard voices. Three men had broken into the greenhouse. Scared, they called the police. The dispatcher replied,... He would send an officer as soon as one became available as they were all out on calls. The old man...
Hilarious Joke: Sixteen Year-Old Boy & New Chevrolet Avalanche
A sixteen year-old teenager boy came home with a new Chevrolet Avalanche, And his parents began to yell and scream,... "Where did you get that truck?!" He calmly told them, "I bought it today." "With what money?" Demanded his parents. They knew what a Chevrolet Avalanche cost. "Well," said the boy, "This one cost me just fifteen dollars." So the parents began to yell even louder. "Who would sell a...
Clean Family Joke: Couple Had Been Married For Over 50 Years
A couple had been married for over 50 years and had many children and grandchildren. One day, the eldest son calls his father for a normal chat and his father starts musing. "You know son, after 50 years, I'm not really in love with your mother any more,... I'm thinking of getting a divorce and leaving her." The son is absolutely shocked and...
Joke Of The Day: While Teaching A Class Of Good Manners
A teacher trying to teach good manners asked her students the following question: "Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?" Michael said: "Just a minute I have to go pee." The teacher responded by saying: "That would be rude and impolite. What about you Sherman,...
Best Women Joke: Wife Passes A Test At The Pearly Gates
A woman found herself standing at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter greeted her and said,... "These are the Gates to Heaven, my dear. But you must do one more thing before you can enter." The woman was very excited, and asked of St. Peter what she must do. "Spell a word," St. Peter replied. "What word?" she asked. "Any word," answered St. Peter. "It's your...
Best Comedy Joke: A Couple Want To Have Children But The Wife
A couple want to have children but the wife can't get pregnant,... So they go to see a priest for advice. The priest tells them they came at the right time,... Since his superior just sent him to Rome for 10 years, and he's leaving tomorrow. "As soon as I'll get there, I'll immediately light a candle for you," He promises. Time passes and the...
Hilarious Joke: A Lawyer Had Just Bought A Fancy New Car
A lawyer had just bought a fancy new car,... And was eager to show it off to his colleagues, When an eighteen wheeler came out of nowhere and took off the driver's side door with him standing right there. "NOOO!" he screamed, Because he knew that no matter how good a mechanic tried to fix it, it would never be the same. Finally, a...
Hilarious Joke: Air Force Guy Driving From McChord To Ft Lewis
There's an Air Force guy driving from McChord to Ft Lewis, and an Army guy driving from Ft Lewis to McChord. In the middle of the night with no other cars on the road they hit each other head on and both cars go flying off in different directions. The Air Force guy manages to climb out of his car and...
Hilarious Joke: A Church Matron Cooking Some Beans
One of the matrons of the church was cooking a pot of her famous beans for the church potluck. Her son, Little Johnny,... Came running through the house, BB gun in one hand, and a handful of BBs in the other. He tripped and the BBs, naturally, went right into the pot of beans. Thinking it over,... Little Johnny could think of no reason...
Smart Husband Joke: A Man Stumbles Across An Old Genie Lamp
A man stumbles across an old lamp while he was at his attorney's office. Figuring his luck has to change, he rubs the lamp and out pops a genie. The genie explains to him that he gets three wishes,... And whatever he wishes for, his wife gets double. The man asks for his first wish. "The first thing I want is a million dollars." The...
Hilarious Best Student Vs Professor Joke: Legal Or Logical?
After having failed his exam in "Logistics and Organization", a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it. Student: "Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?" Professor: "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!" Student: "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my...
Hilarious Best Lawyer Joke Of The Day: Coats Business
Jacob was in coats business, but unfortunately business was very bad. One day his partner James said to him, "What are we going to do with these fifty coats? They're last year's style and even though we've knocked them down to $100 each, we still can't sell any." Jacob replied, "Use your head, James. Price them at $200 and send 10 of...
Best Hilarious Woman Joke Of The Day: Women Are Impossible To Please
Two girlfriends are chatting. "Have you heard about the new husband shopping centre in town?" one asks. "It's a four-floor building where women can go to choose a husband from hundreds of eligible men. The only rule is, once you go up a floor, you can't go down, except to leave the place never to return. Let's try it out." So, the pair head...
Hilarious Social Charity Joke Of The Day: Generous Lawyer
A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community...
Hilarious Best Non Veg Joke Of The Day: Blind Man & Land Lady
A handsome blind person was allowed to stay as a paying guest by a lonely land lady. Being blind, he was considered as harmless creature free to move any where in the house. Once he comes back to house from out side. The moment he enters the house he starts shouting happily and searching the land lady in the house. He is asks...
Best Hilarious Dark Non Veg Dirty Army Joke: Bonus Payments
The Pentagon recently found it had too many generals and offered an early retirement bonus. They promised any general who retired straight away would get his full annual benefits plus 10,000 Dollars for every inch measured in a straight line between any two parts of the general's body, with the general getting to select any pair of points he wished. The...
Clean Hilarious Joke: God's Professional Help To A Good Woman
A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her daughter was very sick with a fever. She left her work and stopped by the pharmacy to get some medication. She got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys in the car. She didn't know what to do, so she called home and told...
Best Hilarious Bad Dirty Non Veg Joke Of The Day: Mosasa Sperm
Out of a bunch of millions of sperms, there was this one sperm named Mosasa. Mosasa was always trying to keep his fitness, jogging, lifting weights, and even swimming. And when his friends asked him why was he doing these things he said,.. "only one of us will meet the egg and make a baby, and I want to be that one...
Hilarious Movie Theater Joke: Disheveled Old Man & The Usher
An old man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the movie theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the old man,.. "Sorry sir, but you're only allowed one seat." The old man didn't budge. The usher became more impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager." Once again, the...
Joke Of The Day: Son & Mothers Talking Parrot Reading Bible Gift
Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers and prospered. Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who lived far away in another city. The first said, "I had a big house built for Mama." The second said, "I had a hundred thousand dollar...
Hilarious Joke: Worst Salesman Of The Year & His Customer Service
Young Johnny was appointed sales person at a local General Dealer's store in Kampala. While on one of his shifts, a lady approached him and asked if they had peach jam to which he bluntly replied, "Out of stock." At this, the lady immediately turned to leave the shop in disgruntlement. It was then that the shopkeeper, who had been looking on, called...
Hilarious Best Joke Of The Day: Smart Engineer Vs Doctor
An Engineer was unemployed for a long time. He could not find a job so he opened a medical clinic and puts a sign up outside: "Get your treatment for $500, if not treated get back $1,000." One Doctor thinks this is a good opportunity to earn $1,000 and goes to his clinic. Doctor: "I have lost taste in my mouth." Engineer: "Nurse, please...
Best Joke Of The Day: Lawyer Versus The Naughty Little Boy
A lawyer is trying to call his clients. The phone rings and their little boy, in a whisper, says, "Hello." Lawyer: "Is your mommy there?" Boy: (whisper) "Yes." Lawyer: "Can I speak with her?" Boy: (whisper) "She's busy." Lawyer: "Is your daddy there?" Boy: (whisper) "Yes." Lawyer: "Can I speak with him?" Boy: (whisper) "He's busy." Lawyer: "Is there anyone else there?" Boy: (whisper) "The fire department." Lawyer: "Can I talk...
Hilarious Joke: A Woman Joins A Country Club And Played Golf
A woman joins a country club and one day hears the guys talking about their golf round. She says, "I played on my college's golf team. I was pretty good. Mind if I join you next week?" No one wants to say 'yes', but they're on the spot. Finally, one man says, "Okay, but we start at 6:30 am." He figures the early...
Joke Of The Day: 3 Grandpas Discuss Whose Age Is The Worst
Three older gentlemen sat down at the park for a conversation. "There's no worse age than 70," says the youngest, "You always feel like you have to pee, and most of the time you try and try and nothing comes out!" "Ah, That's nothing," said the 80 year old, "80 is a much worse age. You can't even do your business anymore. You...
Hilarious Joke: Businessman Impregnanted His Italian Mistress
A businessman has been having an affair with a passionate Italian woman for the past two years. One day, she tells him that she's pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he says he will pay her a sum of money if she returns to Italy and raises the child in secret. He promises to provide for the child...