Sunday, July 21, 2019
Home Tags Car Jokes

Tag: Car Jokes

Hilarious Clean Simple Joke Of The Day: Blonde vs Car Sale
Judi tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it because the car had 250,000 miles on the odometer. One day, she told her problem to a friend she worked with at a salon. Her friend told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal." "That doesn't matter," replied Judi, "I...
Hilarious Best Joke Of The Day: Elderly Women & Speed Limit
A Police Officer was waiting along the side of a highway waiting to catch speeding drivers. There weren't as many violators this day as usual. The State Police Officer sees an old car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the...
Hilarious Clean Humor Joke Of The Day: A Priest And A Nun
A priest and a nun are on their way back from the seminary when their car breaks down. The garage doesn't open until morning so they have to spend the night in a hotel. It only has one room available. The priest says: "Sister, I don't think the Lord would object if we spend the night sharing this one room. I'll sleep on the...
Hilarious Bad Marriage Joke Of The Day: I Want A Divorce
A married couple are driving along a highway doing 60mph, the wife behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks over at her and says, "Honey, I know we've been married for 20 years, but I want a divorce." The wife says nothing but slowly increases speed to 70mph. He then says, "I don't want you to try to talk me out of it, because...
Hilarious Animal Joke Of The Day: Police Officer & Talking Monkey
A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said, "I wish you could talk." The monkey looked up at the officer and shook his head up and...
Hilarious Joke: Sixteen Year-Old Boy & New Chevrolet Avalanche
A sixteen year-old teenager boy came home with a new Chevrolet Avalanche, And his parents began to yell and scream,... "Where did you get that truck?!" He calmly told them, "I bought it today." "With what money?" Demanded his parents. They knew what a Chevrolet Avalanche cost. "Well," said the boy, "This one cost me just fifteen dollars." So the parents began to yell even louder. "Who would sell a...
Hilarious Joke: A Lawyer Had Just Bought A Fancy New Car
A lawyer had just bought a fancy new car,... And was eager to show it off to his colleagues, When an eighteen wheeler came out of nowhere and took off the driver's side door with him standing right there. "NOOO!" he screamed, Because he knew that no matter how good a mechanic tried to fix it, it would never be the same. Finally, a...
Funny Joke: A Rabbi & A Priest Decide To Buy A Car Together
A priest and a rabbi operated a church and a synagogue across the street from each other. Since their schedules intertwined, they decided to go in together to buy a car. After the purchase, they drove it home and parked it on the street between them. A few minutes later, the rabbi looked out and saw the priest sprinkling water on their...
Best Hilarious Famous Doctor VS Car Mechanic Joke: Marvelous Answer
A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon in his shop,.. who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at his car. The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hello Doctor! Please come over here for a minute." The famous surgeon, a...
Clean Hilarious Joke: God's Professional Help To A Good Woman
A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her daughter was very sick with a fever. She left her work and stopped by the pharmacy to get some medication. She got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys in the car. She didn't know what to do, so she called home and told...
Hilarious Joke: A Police Officer Pulls A Lawyer Over For Speeding
A police officer pulls a lawyer over for speeding. Lawyer: "Is there a problem, officer?" Officer: "Yes, you were speeding." Lawyer: "Ah, okay." Officer: "Can I see your driver's license?" Lawyer: "Well, I'd give it to you if I had one, but I don't." Officer: "You don't have a driver's license?" Lawyer: "Nope. Had it taken away from me 10 years ago when I got caught...
Hilarious Clean Joke: A Husband And Blonde Wife At Breakfast
On a bitterly cold winter morning a husband and his blonde wife in Newcastle were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowploughs can get through." So the good blonde wife went...
Hilarious Clean Joke: Husband Goes Police Station To Report Missing Wife
Husband went to the police station to report that his wife was missing... Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home... Sergeant: What is her height? Husband: Gee, I'm not sure. About five-feet four. Sergeant: Weight? Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat. Sergeant: Colour of eyes? Husband: Never really noticed, brown or green. Sergeant: Colour of hair? Husband: Changes a...
Hilariously Dumb Joke: A Blonde Wanting To Earn Money
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?: The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The...
Hilarious Husband Humor: Why Running Away From a Cop?
A man in his mid-forties bought a new BMW and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to see what the engine had. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind...