Wednesday, January 23, 2019
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Hilarious Naughty Old Man Joke Of The Day: Elderly Man's Confession
An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues: Man: "I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them three times." Priest: "Are you sorry for your sins?" Man: "What sins? " Priest: "What kind...
Best Hilarious Catholic Joke Of The Day: Why Didn't Ya Tell Me?
Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked,.. "Father, my dog is dead. Could ya' be saying' a Mass for the poor creature?" Father Patrick replied, "I'm afraid not. We can not have services for an animal in the church. But there are...
Hilarious Innocent Jokes For Kids: Pastor Ask Boys Where is God?
There were two young brothers, 8 and 10 years old, who were exceedingly mischievous. Whatever went wrong in the neighborhood, it turned out they had a hand in it. Their parents were at their wits' end trying to control them. Hearing about a pastor nearby who worked with delinquent boys, the mother suggested to her husband that she would ask the pastor...
Good Hilarious Catholic Joke: Heart Attack & Health Insurance Bill
A man suffered a serious heart attack and had open heart bypass surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at a Catholic Hospital. As he was recovering, a nun asked him questions regarding how he was going to pay for his treatment. She asked, 'Do you have health insurance?' He replied in a raspy voice, 'No' The...
Hilarious Clean Religious Joke: Framing The Question Correctly
Two friends Jack and Max are walking from religious service. Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying. Max replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest?" So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks,.. "Priest, may I smoke while I pray?" But the Priest says,.. "No, my son, you may not. That's utter disrespect to our religion." Jack goes back to...
Hilarious Whiskey Joke: Dying Old Nun And Her Wisdom Words
A 98-year-old Mother Superior from Ireland was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable. They tried giving her some warm milk to drink but she refused it. One of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen and remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas... She opened it and...
Hilarious Joke: The World's Most Expensive Memorial Stone
A man named Bill died. In his will, he asked for an elaborate funeral and his will allocated $100,000 dollars to cover its expenses. As the last guests departed the affair, his wife Nancy turned to her oldest and dearest friend. "Ah well, Bill would be pleased," she said. "You're right," replied Mary, who lowered her voice and leaned in close. "So go on,...
Hilarious Best Christian Joke Of The Day: The Atheist and the Bear
An atheist was walking through the woods. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and...
Hilarious Clean Joke: Atheist Argument With Old Lady Neighbor
There was a little old lady who was very spiritual, who would step out on her porch every day, raise her arms to the sky and yell "Praise the Lord!" One day, an atheist bought the house next door to her, and he became very irritated with the spiritual lady. So after a month or so of her yelling "Praise the Lord" from...
Joke Of The Day: Four Catholic Men And A Catholic Woman
Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman (old age friends) were having coffee in St. Peters Square. The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'." The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'." The third Catholic gent...
Funny Religious Joke: Hunter Prays To Be Rescued From The Bear
In the middle of a forest, there was a hunter who was suddenly confronted by a huge, mean bear. In his fear, all attempts to shoot the bear were unsuccessful. Finally, he turned and ran as fast as he could. The hunter ran and ran and ran until he ended up at the edge of a very steep cliff. His hopes were dim. Seeing...
Hilarious Joke: Preparing For The Funeral
When old Mr. O'Leary died, an elaborate wake was planned. In preparation, Mrs. O'Leary called the undertaker aside for a private little talk. "Please be sure to fasten his toupee to his head very securely. No one but I knew he was bald," she confided, "and he'd never rest in peace if anyone found out at this point. Our friends from the old country...
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple were involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting they began to wonder; Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter arrived they asked him if they could get married in Heaven. St....