Sunday, March 17, 2019
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Tag: Dirty Mind Jokes

Hilarious Stupid Sexy Joke Of The Day: Doctor v/s Decent Assistant
Joke Title: Mr. Paddy Doctor wanted to get off work and play golf, so he approached his assistant Paddy. "I am going golfing tomorrow Paddy and I don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all of our patients." "Yes, sir!" answers Paddy. The doctor goes off to golf and returns the following...
Hilarious Bad Celebrity Joke Of The Day: Alone With a Scarlett on Island
After a terrible cruise shipwreck, famous beauty and actress Scarlett Johansson finds herself alone on a deserted island. Hours pass, and only one other man makes it to the island with her, and some guy were the only survivors of a shipwreck. They didn't know each other before the shipwreck, but he did know who she was, of course. At the beginning...
Best Dirty Joke Of The Day: World's Most Embarrassing Moments
There was a World wide survey of "Most Embarrassing Moment in human life" the finale had the following three incidents... Third Place "It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we...
Hilarious Bad Joke: Little Johnny v/s Teacher's Dirty Thinking
A teacher asks her class:, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Johnny. "None, they all fly away with the first gunshot." The teacher replies:, "The correct answer is 4, but I like the way you think." Then Little Johnny says:, "I have a question for YOU Madam. There are...
Hilarious Best Friendship Joke Of The Day: Honesty is Best Policy
Jack decided to go skiing with his best friend buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night. "I realize it's terrible weather out there and...
Hilarious Grandma Vs Doctor Dirty Joke: Baby's First Clinic Visit
A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room,... waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam. The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight,.. and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed? "Breast-fed," she replied. "Well, strip down to your waist," the doctor ordered. She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded,...
Hilarious Bad Comedy Joke Of The Day: Women & Hardware Store
Bob was fixing a door and he found that he needed a new hinge,.. so he sent his wife Mary to the hardware store. At the hardware store, Mary saw a beautiful teapot on a top shelf while she was waiting for Carl, the manager, to finish waiting on a customer. When Carl was finished, Mary asked: "How much for the teapot?" Carl replied:...
Enjoy These Best & Hilarious Bad Short Dirty Jokes: Dark Humor
There are 3 Male and 1 Female pencils in a box. The Female pencil got pregnant!! Which Male pencil is responsible? * * * * * * ANSWER: THE ONE WITHOUT THE RUBBER. Woman in bed with husband's best friend, phone rings! "YES".. "OK, BYE". She turns to her lover and says, * * * * * * * "THAT'S MY HUBBY, SAYS HE'S NOW GOLFING WITH YOU." Three Roosters: normal, retarded and a gay. Normal : cock-a-doodle-dooo !!! Retarded : doodle-cock-a-dooo...
Best Dirty Non Veg Joke Of The Day: Honest Girl & Virgin Husband
A very 'straight and honest' girl is going to Town. Before she left, her mother gave her some advice: "Daughter, when you're in Town and if you're looking for a match there,... you must take note of the following the requirements mother set for you. You must find a man that is 'faithful', 'thrifty' and must be a 'virgin'." With this advice from her...
Hilarious Non Veg Hospital Joke Of The Day: The New Age Baby
Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm together and have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated with it. When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital. A dozen babies are in the ward, eleven of whom are crying and screaming. Over in the corner, one baby is smiling serenely. A nurse comes by, and to the delight of...
Hilarious Best Dirty Mind Joke Of The Day: Two Nuns & A Man
There were Two Nuns. One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent. SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants. SL: It's logical....
Best Naughty Joke Of The Day: Old Men Are Fast Thinkers Beware
The old farmer had a large pond in the back,.. fixed up nicely with picnic tables, a barbecue pit, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built. One evening, the old guy decided to go down to the pond and look it over. He hadn't been there for a...
Hilarious Naughty Grandparents Joke: Grandpa With No Pants
A man came to visit his grandparents, and he noticed,.. his grandfather sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, wearing only a shirt, with nothing on from the waist down. "Grandpa, what are you doing? Your weenie is out in the wind for everyone to see!" he exclaimed. The old man looked off in the distance without answering. "Grandpa, what are you...
Hilarious Best Dirty Joke: Blind Man Walks Into A Restaurant
Joke Title: Smell Recognition A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. "I'm sorry, sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer. I'll smell it and order from there." A little...
Dirty Joke Of The Day: Two Women Were Playing Golf
Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began...
Hilarious Dirty Mind Humor Joke Of The Day: Send Men Immediately
A Lady Rector of a Ladies hostel was fond of using English language though she was not good in English. She was also fond of using very small sentences to communicate. Always in hurry she used to create lots if funny situations. Once the electricity of her ladies hostel went off at midnight that too during the examination season. She immediately contacted electricity...
Hilarious Bad Joke Of The Day: Little Girl v/s Pregnancy
Joke Title: Come let us A ten year old girl rushes to her grandmother and asks her, "Can I be pregnant?" Grandmother, "Are you fooling. You can not be pregnant. Go and play out side." The girl then goes to grandfather and asks him the same question and the reply also is the same. The girl goes to her father with the same question...
Best Non Veg Joke Of The Day: Dirty Talking Prostitute Parrots
A lady approaches her priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing." "What do they say?" the priest inquired. "They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Want to have some fun'?" "That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your...
Hilarious Dirty Joke Of The Day: Country Doctors
A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older gentleman suggested the young one accompany him on his rounds so the community could become used to a new doctor. At the first house a woman complained, "I've been a little sick to my stomach." The older doctor said, "Well, you've probably been overdoing the...
Short Dirty Joke Of The Day: Doctor My Husband Is 300% Impotent
A woman goes to her doctor, complaining that her husband is 300% impotent. The doctor says, "I'm not sure I understand what you mean." She says, "Well, the first 100% you can imagine. * * * * * * * * * * In addition, he burned his tongue and broke his finger!"
Hilarious Dirty Mind Joke: Boyfriend Asks Girlfriend To Play Weeweechu
One beautiful December evening Huan Cho and his girlfriend Jung Lee was sitting by the side of the ocean. It was a romantic full moon, when Huan Cho said,.. "Hey baby, how about playing Weeweechu". "Oh no, not now, lets look at the moon." said Jung Lee. "Oh c'mon baby, lets you and I play Weeweechu. I love you and it's a perfect...
Hilarious Cute Joke Of The Day: Innocence Babies At Its Best
Two babies were sitting in their cribs, when one baby shouted to the other, "Are you a little girl or a little boy?" "I don't know," replied the other baby giggling. "What do you mean, you don't know?" said the first baby. "I mean I don't know how to tell the difference," was the reply. "Well, I do," said the first baby chuckling, "I'll...
Hilariously Naughty Little Johnny Bad Joke: The Polite Way to Pee
During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question: 'Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?' Michael said: 'Just a minute I have to go pee.' The teacher responded by saying: 'That would...
Hilarious Short Non Veg Dirty Joke: Naughty Dentist VS Nervous Woman
A nervous lady sat on a dentist's chair to get her tooth extracted, seeing too many instruments she got frightened. "Doctor, I would much rather have a baby than my tooth pulled out." The dentist retorted : * * * * * * * "Well make up your mind, ... so that I can adjust the chair accordingly".
Hilarious Dirty Mind Joke: Old Man's Visit To A Fertility Doctor
A 75-year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said,.. "Take this jar home and bring me back a sample tomorrow." The next day, the 75-year old man reappears at the doctor's office and gives him the jar,.. which is as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor...
Hilarious Dirty Joke Of The Day: A Farmer & A Naughty Widow
A farmer stopped by the local mechanic shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home. On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a...
Hilarious Bad Non Veg Dirty Joke Of The Day: Annal Deodorant
A man walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist for some rectal deodorant. The pharmacist explains to the man they don't sell rectal deodorant and that in fact he's never heard of it before. The man assures the pharmacist that he has been buying the stuff from this store for years and needs some more. "I'm sorry", says the pharmacist, "we...