Friday, February 15, 2019
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Tag: Double Meaning Joke

Hilarious Husband Wife Short Dirty Joke: Bad Horse Riding
A minister gave a talk to the community center on sex. When he got home, he couldn't tell his wife that he had spoken on sex, so he said he had discussed "Horseback Riding" with the members. A few days later, she ran into some men at the shopping center,... and they complimented her on the speech her husband had made. She said:, * * * * * * * * * "Yes, I...
Hilarious Best Dirty Mind Joke Of The Day: Two Nuns & A Man
There were Two Nuns. One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent. SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants. SL: It's logical....
Hilarious Bad Joke Of The Day: Little Johnny & Sunday School
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?" When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "God Almighty!" shouted Mary and the teacher...
Hilarious Saucy Joke: Young Couple On Their Wedding Night
A young couple on their wedding night were in their honeymoon suite. As they were undressing for bed, the husband, a big burly man, tossed his trousers to his new bride and said: "Here, put these on." She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body. "I can't wear your trousers," she said. "That's right,'' said the husband, "and don't you...
Hilarious Non Veg Joke: Little Johnny's Dirty Class For Medicines
Joke Title: Laugh... With Viagra At school little Johnny's class is learning about medicines. Sister Catherine, the teacher, asks the pupils what kind of medicines they know and what they are used for. The first pupil said: "Tylenol?" "Very good! And what is it used for?" "It is used for a headache." The second pupil said: "Nytol." "Excellent!" said Sister Catherine. "And what it is used...
Hilariously Naughty Little Johnny Bad Joke: The Polite Way to Pee
During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question: 'Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?' Michael said: 'Just a minute I have to go pee.' The teacher responded by saying: 'That would...
Hilarious Short Non Veg Dirty Joke: Naughty Dentist VS Nervous Woman
A nervous lady sat on a dentist's chair to get her tooth extracted, seeing too many instruments she got frightened. "Doctor, I would much rather have a baby than my tooth pulled out." The dentist retorted : * * * * * * * "Well make up your mind, ... so that I can adjust the chair accordingly".
Short Dirty Joke: Little Johnny With His Cat At School
At school one day the teacher heard cat noises coming from the class, and she discovered little johnny with a cat up his jumper. She said, "Why have you got your cat at school?" Little Johnny started crying. "I woke up this morning to hear the postman tell Mummy ... * * * * * * * * * 'I'm gonna eat your pu$$y today!"
Hilarious Short Funny Dirty Joke: Italian Language Problem
A bus stops and two old Italian men get on. They seat themselves and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following: "Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again....
Hilarious Joke: A Woman Joins A Country Club And Played Golf
A woman joins a country club and one day hears the guys talking about their golf round. She says, "I played on my college's golf team. I was pretty good. Mind if I join you next week?" No one wants to say 'yes', but they're on the spot. Finally, one man says, "Okay, but we start at 6:30 am." He figures the early...
Hilarious Naughty Joke: Farmer Brings His Rooster To The Movie
A farmer decided he wanted to go to town and see a movie. As he approached, the ticket agent asked, "Sir, what's that on your shoulder?" The old farmer said, "That's my pet rooster Chuck. Wherever I go, Chuck goes." "I'm sorry, sir," said the ticket agent. "We can't allow animals in the theater." The old farmer went around the corner and stuffed Chuck down his...
Hilarious Joke: Businessman Impregnanted His Italian Mistress
A businessman has been having an affair with a passionate Italian woman for the past two years. One day, she tells him that she's pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he says he will pay her a sum of money if she returns to Italy and raises the child in secret. He promises to provide for the child...
Hilarious Joke: Teacher And Principal Asks Jimmy Questions To See If He Can Skip Grades
A second grade teacher was having trouble with one of her student Johnny. One day, she asked Johnny what his problem was. He replied, "I'm too smart for the second grade, my sister is in the fourth grade, and I'm smarter than her too." The teacher took him to the principal's office and explained the situation to the principal. The principal told her...
Stupid Joke: Elderly Man Tells Doctor His 20-Year-Old Bride Is Pregnant
The doctor asked the old man how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old said, "Things are great, and I've never felt better! I now have a 20-year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that, doctor?" The doctor considered the question for a minute, and then began to tell a story. "I have an older friend, much like you,...
Funny Naughty Joke: The Modern Teenage Granddaughter VS Smart Grandmother
A teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with a see-through blouse on and no bra. Her grandmother pitches a fit, telling her not to dare go out like that! The teenager yells back: "Loosen up, Grams. These are modern times. You gotta let your rosebuds show!" and out she goes. The next day the teenager comes downstairs, and the grandmother is sitting...
Hilarious Bad Joke: Innocent Arab Grandpa In Italian Hospital
An Arab family residing in Europe was considering putting their grandfather (Abdullah) in a nursing home. All the Arab Facilities were completely full, so they had to put him in an Italian nursing home. After a few weeks in the Italian facility, they came to visit Grandpa. "How do you like it here?" asked the grandson. "It's wonderful! Everyone here is so courteous and...
Funny Joke Of The Day: A Teacher And Little Johnny In The Class
A teacher said to her class, "Right, I'm going to hold something under the desk and I want you to guess it. This one is round and red." Little Johnny's hand shot up, but he was ignored. "It's a plum miss," said a girl. "No it's an apple, but I like your thinking. The next one is oval shaped and green." The teacher ignored Little Johnny...
Naughty Innocence Joke: It's Easy For Words To Be Misconstrued
A 5-year old girl went to visit her grandmother one day. She played with her dolls as grandma dusted the furniture. At one point, she looked up and asked: "Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend?" Grandma replied: "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The TV evangelists keep me company and make me...
Hilariously Stupid Joke: A Blonde Being Asked To Climb A Pole
A group of guys were chatting with a hot good-looking blonde and, somewhat improbably, asked her to climb this pole that was conveniently nearby. For whatever reason, she decided to do it. When she told her mother what happened, her mother scolded her: "Don't you understand that they only wanted to see your underwear?" The girl was understandably upset at being very stupid and...
Bad Arrogant Joke: The Prudish Son and the Sausage Factory
There once was a man who owned a sausage factory, and he was showing his arrogant preppy son around his factory. Try as he might to impress his snobbish son, his son would just sneer. They approached the heart of the factory, where the father thought, "this should impress him!" He showed his son a machine and said: "Son, this is the heart of the...
Innocent Divorce Joke: A Mom Is Driving A Little Girl To Her Friends House For A Play Date
A Mom is driving a little girl to her friends house for a play date. "Mommy," the little girl asks, "How old are you?" "Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age," the mother warns. "It is not polite." "OK," the little girl says, "How much do you weigh?" "Now really," the mother says, "These are personal questions and are really...
An 80 year old man was having his annual checkup and the doctor asked him how he was feeling. "I've never been better!" he boasted. "I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?" The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy...
Dentist Joke: This Guy Can't Stop Washing His Hands
A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands. He then takes off his trousers and washes his hands again. The girl has been watching him and says, "You must be a dentist." The guy, surprised,...
The 6th-grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?" No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, "You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!" Mrs. Parks ignored...
A little boy wakes up three nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents' room. Finally one morning he goes to his mom and says, "Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noises and when I look in your bedroom you're bouncing up and down on him." His mom is taken by surprise and...