Saturday, June 8, 2019
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Best Hilarious Family Joke: Teacher v/s Kid's Moral Of The Story
A teacher told her young class to ask their parents for a family story with a moral at the end of it, and to return the next day to tell their stories. In the classroom the next day, Joe gave his example First, "My dad is a farmer and we have chickens. One Day we were taking lots of eggs to market in...
Hilarious Shitty Bad Joke Of The Day: Bar Time With Best Friends
George was planning on going out with "The Boys" when his wife told him that he wasn't leaving the house. George's Wife: "The last time you went out with your friends you got so drunk that you puked on your shirt." George: "But Honey, I promise that I wont drink a drop of alcohol all night!" So after begging his old lady...
Hilarious Bar Joke Of The Day: A Smart Guy VS Old Drunkard
Joke Title: How Old Am I? A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I want you to give me 12-year scotch, and don't try to fool me because I can tell the difference." The bartender is skeptical and decides to try to trick the man with 5-year scotch. The man takes a sip, scowls and says, "Bartender, this crap is...
Hilarious Irish Humour Joke Of The Day: Drunkard Mick & Paddy
Two Irishman, Mick and Paddy were walking home from the pub after drinking late night. Mick says to Paddy, "I can't be bothered to walk all that way." "I know," says Paddy, "but we've no money for a cab and we've missed the last bus home." "We could steal a bus from the depot," Mick suggests. They arrive at the bus depot and Mick tells...
Hilarious Best Drunkard Joke Of The Day: The Talking Clock
One late night after bar time a drunk guy is showing some friends around his brand new apartment. The last stop is the bedroom, where a big brass gong sits next to the bed. "What's that gong for?" the friend asks him. "It's not a gong," the drunk replies. "It's a talking clock." "How does it work?" The guys picks up a hammer, gives the...
Hilarious Joke: 3 Guys Go To Hell, There They Meet The Devil
Three guys go to hell,... When they get there, they meet the devil, who tells them there's a way to get to heaven. The Devil explains that behind 3 doors are tasks that they must each complete,... In whatever order they want, to go to heaven. Door 1 is a room with 10 virgin ladies, the task is to make them all orgasm...
Hilariously Stupid Joke: Three Drunk Men Getting In A Taxi
Three drunken guys entered a taxi after a heavy night of drinking. Immediately realizing that the men were inebriated,... Cab driver quickly thought up a plan to get rid of them. He started the engine, turned it off again and said: "We have reached your destination". "Alright pal, here you go," Said the first guy as he gave him the money. The second guy thanked him...
Hilarious Catholic Humor Of The Day: Nervous New Priest & Vodka
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip." So next Sunday he took...
Hilarious Clean English Joke: Police Officers & Drunk Old Woman
Two police officers saw an old woman staggering out a local bar, Stopping her they can tell she has had far too much to drink,... And instead of taking her to jail they decide to just drive her home. They loaded her into the police cruiser one of the officers gets in the back with the drunk woman. As they drove through the...
Short Humorous Joke: Drunk Husband Gets Late Night Education
Drunk Husband was brought into night court,.. having been picked up on suspicion of being the notorious night prowler. "What were you doing out at 3 A.M.?" the judge sternly queried Husband. "I was going to a lecture." answered Husband "A lecture at 3 A.M.?" The judge was scornful. "Oh, sure," said Husband. * * * * * "Sometimes my wife stays up longer than that just to lecture me."
Husband Wife Joke: Doctor, Woman & Green Tea Placebo Effect
A woman goes to the doctor, beaten black and blue... Doctor: "What happened?" Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do,.. Every time my husband comes home drunk he beats me to a pulp...." Doctor: "I have a real good medicine against that: When your husband comes home drunk, just take a glass of green tea and start swirling it in your mouth. Don't drink it,...