Monday, June 10, 2019
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Best Hilarious Comedy Joke: Two Lawyers v/s Pregnant Secretary
Two lawyers had been life long friends: they were partners and shared everything, including their hot-blooded secretary. One day the secretary announced she was pregnant. They told her not to worry and assured her that they would pay all medical costs and would act as co-fathers when the child was born and provide all expenses thereafter. The day of delivery arrived. Both the...
Hilarious Clean Simple Joke Of The Day: Blonde vs Car Sale
Judi tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it because the car had 250,000 miles on the odometer. One day, she told her problem to a friend she worked with at a salon. Her friend told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal." "That doesn't matter," replied Judi, "I...
Hilarious Best Friendship Joke Of The Day: Honesty is Best Policy
Jack decided to go skiing with his best friend buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night. "I realize it's terrible weather out there and...
Hilarious Shitty Bad Joke Of The Day: Bar Time With Best Friends
George was planning on going out with "The Boys" when his wife told him that he wasn't leaving the house. George's Wife: "The last time you went out with your friends you got so drunk that you puked on your shirt." George: "But Honey, I promise that I wont drink a drop of alcohol all night!" So after begging his old lady...
Hilarious Non Veg Bad Dirty Joke: Three Friends in Jungle & Fruit Of Labour
Three friends who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits. The first one came...
Hilarious Bad Joke Of The Day: Trusted Friend & Wrong Key
All the good knights were leaving for the Crusades. One knight told his best friend, "My bride is without doubt one of the most beautiful women in the world. It would be a terrible waste if no man could have her. Therefore, as my best and most trusted friend, I am leaving you the key to her chastity belt to use should I not...
Simple Clean Joke Of The Day: Two Lawyer Friends Playing Golf
Joke Title: Oh, Those Darn Lawyers Two lawyers, Jon and Ethan, head out for their usual 9 holes of golf. Jon offers Ethan a $50 bet. Ethan agrees and they're off. They shoot a great game. After the 8th hole, Ethan is ahead by one stroke, but cuts his ball into the rough on the 9th. "Help me find my ball. Look over there," he...
Hilarious Best Drunkard Joke Of The Day: The Talking Clock
One late night after bar time a drunk guy is showing some friends around his brand new apartment. The last stop is the bedroom, where a big brass gong sits next to the bed. "What's that gong for?" the friend asks him. "It's not a gong," the drunk replies. "It's a talking clock." "How does it work?" The guys picks up a hammer, gives the...
Hilarious Non Veg Joke Of The Day: Old Best Friends & Their Sons
Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party. After several drinks, one of the men had to use the restroom. Those who remained talked about their kids. The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and...
Hilariously Best Friends Bad Joke Of The Day: It Could Have Been Worse
Three friends had a very good friend named Joe and he was, naturally, an eternal optimist. At every bad situation he would always say "It could have been worse." His friends hated that quality about him, So they came up with a story so horrible that not even Joe could come up with a bright side. So the next day, only two of his...
Hilarious Best Award Winning English Joke: Don't Complicate Issues
Joke title: Don't Complicate Issues My Friend This particular joke won the award for the best joke in a competition organized in Britain. Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replies, "I see...
Hilarious Best Lame Joke Of The Day: Five Friends & Crime Story
Joke Title: JUST A JOKE This is crime story. Five Best friends lived in a room, Namely MAD, BRAIN, FOOL, NOBODY, SOMEBODY. One day SOMEBODY killed NOBODY. At that time BRAIN was in bathroom, MAD called police. MAD: Is it police station??? Police: Yes, what is the matter?? MAD: SOMEBODY killed NOBODY. Police: Are you mad? MAD: Yes, I'm MAD. Police: Don't you have BRAIN. MAD: BRAIN is in bathroom... Police: you...
Joke Of The Day: Old Lady Asked Her Best Friend For A Favor
Two 90-year-old women, Bertha and Betty, had been best friends all of their lives. When it was clear that Bertha was dying, Betty visited her every day. One day Betty said,.. "Bertha, we both loved playing softball all our lives, and we played all through high school. Please do me one favor: When you get to heaven, somehow you must let me know...
Hilarious College Joke Of The Day: Who Is Clever? Teacher Or Student?
One night 4 college friends (students) were playing till late night and didn't study for the test which was scheduled for the next day. In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty and weird with grease and dirt. They then went up to the Dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last...
Elderly Humor: An Old Couple Has Their Friends Over For Dinner
An old couple has their friends over for dinner one evening,... And after the meal the two men retire to the living room while the women remain chatting at the table. The one guy says to his friend:,... "Hey, we went to a really great restaurant last week and I think you'd really like it. They had good portions for low prices, and...
Hilarious Clean Best Work Joke: Irishman, Russian & Japanese
Joke Title: "SUPPLIES" There friends an Irishman, a Russian and a Japanese man, all set out on a journey looking for work. They go by a quiet little dusty town and see a sign advertising work in the local coal mine. The pay is great, so they go off and look for the boss. They find him and he tells them: "Well, you know, I...
Hilarious Clean Religious Joke: Framing The Question Correctly
Two friends Jack and Max are walking from religious service. Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying. Max replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest?" So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks,.. "Priest, may I smoke while I pray?" But the Priest says,.. "No, my son, you may not. That's utter disrespect to our religion." Jack goes back to...
Hilarious Joke Of The Day: Friends Advice On Vacation Every Year
Two Rednecks, Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earlene got pregnant. Then two years...
Medical Humour Joke: Doctor's Best Of Friend Patient & His Will
The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said: "Since we are the best of friends,.. I would not want to insult you by offering payment. But I would like for you to know that I had mentioned you in my will." "That is very kind of you," said the doctor emotionally,.. and then added,.. "Can I see that prescription I just gave you? ......
Clean Hilarious Joke: Two Friends Working In The Same Office
Two friends working in the same office. One wanted some time off, but knew the boss wouldn't allow him to take leave. He decided to act crazy so the boss would tell him to take a few days off. He hung upside down from the ceiling so the other guy asked him "What are you doing?" "Ah, me pretending to be a light...
Hilarious Dumb Joke: Stupid Husband At Bar And Cheating Wife
Paddy and his two good friends were sitting at a bar, talking about their wives. "I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician," his first friend said, taking a swig of his beer. "How's that?" his other friend asked. "Well, the other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed, and they weren't mine." The other men clapped...
Joke Of The Day: Four Catholic Men And A Catholic Woman
Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman (old age friends) were having coffee in St. Peters Square. The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'." The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'." The third Catholic gent...
Hilarious Joke: Students Try To Lie Their Way Out Of Missing A Final, But Their Teacher's Solution Is Perfect
Four friends were so confident that the weekend before final exams, they decided to go for a picnic and party with some friends up there. However, after all the partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to college until early Monday morning. Rather than taking the final exam then, exhausted and unprepared, they decided to wait until...
Hilarious Dumb Joke: Two Hunters Are In The Woods When One
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "I'm in the middle of nowhere and I think my friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First,...
One day, there were two boys playing by a stream. One boy went over to the bush to check out some noises. He pointed out a woman bathing naked in the steam. So, both boys decided to stay and watch her. All of a sudden the second boy took off running. The first boy couldn't understand why he ran away, so he took off after...
Hilarious Bachelors Joke Of The Day: Conversation With Salesman
This is a conversation that took place between (Y) and a marketing guy (X) X: Which shaving cream do you use? Y: Baba's X: Which aftershave do you use? Y: Baba's X: Which deodorant do you use? Y: Baba's X: Which toothpaste do you use? Y: Baba's X: Which shampoo do you use? Y: Baba's X: Which socks do you use? Y: Baba's X (Frustrated): Okay, tell me, what is this Baba?...