Sunday, July 21, 2019
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Hilarious Comedy Elderly Joke Of The Day: 3 Old Age Guys
"Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old man. "You always feel like you have to pee and most of the time you stand there and nothing comes out." "Ah, that's nothing," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy, you don't have a bowel movement any more. You take laxatives, eat bran, sit on the toilet all day and nothing' comes...
Hilarious Dirty Joke Of The Day: Country Doctors
A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older gentleman suggested the young one accompany him on his rounds so the community could become used to a new doctor. At the first house a woman complained, "I've been a little sick to my stomach." The older doctor said, "Well, you've probably been overdoing the...
Hilarious Bad Joke Of The Day: Charlie Vs Priest At Church
Joke Title: Trading Place Charlie was responsible for taking up the offerings at a local church. One Sunday, after the service, the priest counted the money and found there was less than anticipated, given the size of the congregation. He took Charlie aside and questioned him. Charlie said that he did not take any of the offerings. The priest questioned him again and again...
Best Hilarious Old Man Marriage Joke Of The Day: The Old Motor
The marriage of an 80 year old man and a 20 year old woman was the talk of the town. After being married a year, the couple went to the hospital for the birth of their first child. The attending nurse came out of the delivery room to congratulate the old gentleman and said, "This is amazing. How do you do it...
Hilarious Joke: Ever Since I Was A Child, I've Always Had A Fear
Ever since I was a child, I've always had a fear of someone under my bed at night. So I went to a Psychiatrist and told him I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy. "Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the psychiatrist. "Come talk to me...
Elderly Humor: An Old Couple Has Their Friends Over For Dinner
An old couple has their friends over for dinner one evening,... And after the meal the two men retire to the living room while the women remain chatting at the table. The one guy says to his friend:,... "Hey, we went to a really great restaurant last week and I think you'd really like it. They had good portions for low prices, and...
Hilarious Clean Courtroom Joke Of The Day: Bad Jury Duty
A man was chosen for jury duty who very much wanted to be dismissed from serving. He tried every excuse he could think of but none of them worked. On the day of the trial he decided to give it one more shot. As the trial was about to begin he asked if he could approach the bench. "Your Honour," he said, "I must...
Hilarious Student Humor Joke Of The Day: Time to Study
Hi Friends, It Is No Fault Of Student Because A Year Has Only 365 Days. Days In A Year = 365 Sundays = 52 Days Sundays Are Meant For Rest Days Left = 313 Days Summer Vacations = 60 Days Weather Is Very Hot, and its a Vacation Days Left = 253 Days 8 Hours Of Daily Sleep = 122 Days Sleep Is Necessary Days Left = 131 1 Hour Daily...
Hilarious Animal Joke Of The Day: Vampire Bat & Fresh Blood
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood,.. and parked himself on the ceiling of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and started hassling him about where he got it. He told them to leave him alone and let him get some sleep. However, they persisted until he finally...
Best Hilarious Scientists Joke Ever: Newton Plays Hide N Seek
Once all the scientists die and go to heaven. They decide to play hide-n-seek. Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has the den......... ..He is supposed to count up to 100... and then start searching... .. Everyone starts hiding except Newton...... ... Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it right in front of Einstein. Einstein's counting 1,2,3......97, 98,99.... .100..... ... He...
Best Non Veg Joke Of The Day: Dirty Talking Prostitute Parrots
A lady approaches her priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing." "What do they say?" the priest inquired. "They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Want to have some fun'?" "That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your...
Hilarious American Politician Joke: Bush, Osama Bin Laden & Israeli Mossad
After numerous rounds of,... "We don't even know if Osama bin Laden is still alive", Osama himself decided to send George Bush a letter in his own hand writing to let him know he was still in the game. Bush opened the letter and it contained a single line of coded message: 370H-SSV-0773H Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Condoleezza Rice. Condi and...
Hilarious Dirty Mind Joke: Old Man's Visit To A Fertility Doctor
A 75-year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said,.. "Take this jar home and bring me back a sample tomorrow." The next day, the 75-year old man reappears at the doctor's office and gives him the jar,.. which is as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor...
Cute Joke For Kids: Little Johnny Asked Mother For Dad's Baldness
Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning and got to thinking about things. "Mommy, mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs on his head?".. he asked his mother. "He thinks a lot,".. replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming up with a good answer to her husband's baldness. Or she was until Little Johnny thought for a second and asked, * * * * * * "So why do you...
Hilarious Dirty Joke Of The Day: A Farmer & A Naughty Widow
A farmer stopped by the local mechanic shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home. On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a...
Hilarious Government Job Dirty Joke: Canada Post Employment
A guy goes to Canada Post to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him "Are you allergic to anything?" He says "Yes, just caffeine." "Have you ever been in the service?" the interviewer asks. "Yes," he says, "I was in Afghanistan for two years." The interviewer says "That will give you 5 extra points toward employment here." He then asks, "Are you disabled in...
Hilarious Crazy Office Joke Of The Day: Worker Needs Light To Work
I urgently needed a few days off work,.. but I knew the Boss would Not Allow me to take leave.. I thought that maybe if I acted 'CRAZY' Then He would tell me to take a few days off. So, I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker (Sipho) asked me what I was doing. I told him that...
Hilarious Clean Doctor Humor Joke: The Expensive Veterinarian Bill
A man rushes his limp dog to the veterinarian. The doctor pronounces the dog dead. The agitated man demands a second opinion. The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat. The cat sniffs the body and meows. The vet says, "I'm sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead, too." The man is still unwilling to accept that...
Hilarious Clean Religious Joke: Framing The Question Correctly
Two friends Jack and Max are walking from religious service. Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying. Max replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest?" So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks,.. "Priest, may I smoke while I pray?" But the Priest says,.. "No, my son, you may not. That's utter disrespect to our religion." Jack goes back to...
Hilarious Dark Joke: Lawyer's Funeral And His Loyal Clients
A man is at his lawyer's funeral,.. and is surprised by the turnout for this one man. He turns to the people around him. "Why are you all at this man's funeral?" A man turns towards him and says, "We're all clients." "And you ALL came to pay your respects? How touching." * * * * * "No, we came to make sure he was dead."
Funny Naughty Joke: The Modern Teenage Granddaughter VS Smart Grandmother
A teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with a see-through blouse on and no bra. Her grandmother pitches a fit, telling her not to dare go out like that! The teenager yells back: "Loosen up, Grams. These are modern times. You gotta let your rosebuds show!" and out she goes. The next day the teenager comes downstairs, and the grandmother is sitting...