Friday, May 24, 2019
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Tag: Funny Insults

Hilarious Good Comedy Old Biker Joke Of The Day: Hand Job
A crusty old age biker, on a summer ride in the country, walks into a tavern and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads: CHEESEBURGER: $1.50 CHICKEN SANDWICH: $2.50 HAND JOB: $1000 Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive female bartender serving drinks to a meager looking group of farmers. "Yes?"...
Hilarious Best Joke For Today: Little Johnny & Teacher's Famous Quotes
It was the end of the school day and all of the kids were anxious to go home. The teacher told the kids, "As soon as you can name the speaker of a famous quote you may leave. O.K,... Who said four score and seven years ago?" Johnny lifts his hand in excitement. "Yes, Johnny?" But before he could answer, Lucy jumped in and said...
Hilarious Old Man VS Young Man Best Joke: The Generation Gap
A very self-important college freshman attending a recent football game,.. ...Took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation. "You grew up in a different world, actually an almost primitive one!" The student said, loud enough for many of those nearby to hear. "The young people...
Hilariously Good Non Veg Joke Of The Day: SMART TIT FOR TAT
A very shy young man goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting alone. After an hour he gathers enough courage to go and ask her, "Er... excuse me, but would you mind if I sat here beside you?" She responds in a loud voice : "NO, I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!" Everyone in the bar turns to...
Best Break Up Letter: Hilariously Smart Humor Joke Of The Day
A soldier stationed in Afghanistan recently received a letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows: Dear Ricky, I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I...
Hilarious Best Business Joke Of The Day: How To Impress A Client
I was in the airport VIP lounge en route to Seattle a couple of weeks ago. While in there, I noticed Bill Gates sitting comfortably in the corner, enjoying a drink. I was meeting a very important client who was also flying to Seattle, but she was running a little bit late. Well, being a straightforward kind of guy, I approached the Microsoft chairman,...
Clean Office Joke: A Young Programmer & His Project Manager
A young Programmer and his Project Manager board a train,... Headed through the mountains on its way to Wichita. They can find no place to sit except for two seats,.. Right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother. After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young programmer are interested in each other,.. Because they are giving...
Hilarious Creepy Marriage Joke Of The Day: Supportive Wife
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, Yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were...
Hilarious Joke: A Guy Asking For Some Polish Sausage
A man goes into a store and asks the clerk for some "Polish Sausage." The clerk looked at him and asked,... "Are you Polish?" The guy, clearly offended, Says:,... "Well, yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I asked you for Italian Sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian? Or, if I asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me...
Rude Insulting Joke: A Stranger Was Seated Next To Little Johnny On The Plane
A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the stranger turned to the Little Johnny and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, "What would you like to discuss?" "Oh,...
Hilarious Dirty Joke: The Woman, The Merlot And The Refusal
A man enters his favorite ritzy restaurant, and while sitting at his regular table,... He notices a gorgeous woman sitting at a table nearby all alone. He calls the waiter over and asks for their most expensive bottle of Merlot to be sent over to her,... knowing that if she accepts it, she is his for the night. The waiter gets the bottle...
Best Comedy Joke Of The Day: Grandma v/s Lawyers in Court
Lawyers should never ask grandmas a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, an elderly grandmother to the stand. He approached her and asked: "Mrs.. Jones, do you know me?" She responded: "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you're...
Hilarious Good Humor For Women On This Planet: Men Are Like
Now days, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage. #1. Men are like,... Laxatives,... They irritate the crap out of you. #2. Men are like,... Bananas,... The older they get, the less firm they are. #3. Men are like,... Weather,... Nothing can be done to change them. #4....
Hilarious Bad Nurse Joke Of The Day: Size - Does It Matter?
A young man was so paranoid about the size of his penis that he could never work up the courage to have sex. Then one day he fell in love with a nurse. One fine evening, they went back to her place. She put on some soft music and led him into the bedroom. Totally mortified, he told her of his problem. "Don't worry,"...
Hilarious Dark Joke Of The Day: A Woman And A Sensitive Man
A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They go back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with sweet cuddly teddy bears. Hundreds of cute small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor. Cuddly medium-sized ones on a shelf...
Rude Joke: Bus Driver Insults A Passenger's Baby
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. With a grimace, the bus driver says, "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman, fuming, walks to the rear of the bus and sits down. Unable to contain her rage any longer, she turns to the man sitting next to her and vents: "That driver just insulted me!" The man, understanding, replies emphatically, "You go...
Bad Arrogant Joke: The Prudish Son and the Sausage Factory
There once was a man who owned a sausage factory, and he was showing his arrogant preppy son around his factory. Try as he might to impress his snobbish son, his son would just sneer. They approached the heart of the factory, where the father thought, "this should impress him!" He showed his son a machine and said: "Son, this is the heart of the...
Hilarious Old Age Humor: Grandma Buys A Bumper Sticker, Never Expecting What It Would Get Her Into
Dear Granddaughter, The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting. So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. Boy, am I glad I...
At a bar, Archie approaches Zoe, a pretty girl drinking by herself. He tries to make conversation, offers to buy her a drink, when suddenly she yells, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight, you pig!" Everyone in the bar stops and stares. Completely embarrassed, Archie slinks back to his table with a red face. After a few minutes, Zoe walks over to him...
An old geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time became very bored and decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside that said: "Get your treatment for $500 - if not cured get back $1,000." Doctor "Young," who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine, thought this would be...
A psychology professor starts his lecture by telling the students: "Today we'll learn about the three stages of human emotion: surprise, irritation, and rage." With that, he takes his phone out of his pocket, puts it on speaker, and dials a random number. "Hello, may I please speak to Dave?" says the professor when the other person answers. "No, I'm sorry, you have...