Friday, May 24, 2019
Home Tags Funny Short Joke

Tag: Funny Short Joke

Short, Hilarious And Good: The Best Funniest One liner Jokes
Judge: Why did you hit your husband with a chair?" Wife: "I couldn't lift the table." "What did one ghost say to another?" "Do you believe in people?" My friend has a fine watch dog. At any suspicious noise he wakes the dog and the dog begins to bark. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak. "Room Service? Can...
Hilarious Short Naughty Joke: 80 Year Old Man In Confession
An elderly man goes into confession and says to the priest, "Father, I'm 80 years old, married, have four kids and 11 grandchildren. I started taking this new Viagra pill, and last night I had an affair and made love to two 18-year-old girls. and,... Both of them with. Twice." The priest said: "Well, my son, when was the last time you were...
Best Light Weight New Funny Jokes In English: Latest Good Humor
Rocket to Moon On the first night of honeymoon the wife crazy husband says, "My sweet darling, I am going to take you to moon tonight." The impatient wife says, "Sure, but first at least let's see the rocket to get there." Period of Patience Dad went to school for getting the report card for his son in the middle of the class and had...
Hilarious Short Non Veg Dirty Joke: Naughty Dentist VS Nervous Woman
A nervous young lady sat on a dentist's chair to get her tooth extracted,.. Seeing too many instruments she got frightened. "Doctor, I would much rather have a baby than my tooth pulled out." The dentist retorted : * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * "Well make up your mind, ... so that I can adjust the chair accordingly".
Hilarious Husband Wife Short Dirty Joke: Bad Horse Riding
A minister gave a talk to the community center on sex. When he got home, he couldn't tell his wife that he had spoken on sex, So he said he had discussed "Horseback Riding" with the members. A few days later, she ran into some men at the shopping center,... and they complimented her on the speech her husband had made. She said:, * * * * * * * * * "Yes, I...
Little Johnny Vs Sunday School Teacher Joke: Making Bad Faces
Finding one of her student Little Johnny making faces at others on the playground,.. Ms. Smith stopped to gently scold the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, "Johnny, when I was a child, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." Johnny looked up and replied, * * * * * * * * * * "Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't...
Hilarious Husband Wife: Mix Short Humorous Jokes On Marriage
Man walks into the bedroom with a sheep under his arm while his wife is lying in bed reading. Man says: "This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache." Wife replies: "I think you'll find that is a sheep." Man replies: "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep." A man walks into his bedroom and...
Hilarious Naughty Grandparents Joke: Grandpa With No Pants
A man came to visit his grandparents, and he noticed,.. His grandfather sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, wearing only a shirt, with nothing on from the waist down. "Grandpa, what are you doing? Your weenie is out in the wind for everyone to see!" he exclaimed. The old man looked off in the distance without answering. "Grandpa, what are you...
Great Marriage Humor: Quotes, Sayings & Mix Short Jokes
My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't. Marriage is a three ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. For Sale: Wedding dress, size 8. Worn once by mistake. There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman: Before marriage and after marriage. Why were hurricanes usually named after women? Because when...
Have A Good Laugh With These Best Short Clean Hilarious Jokes
LIFE AFTER DEATH: "Do you believe in life after death?" The boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, sir," the new employee replied. "Well, then, that makes everything just fine," The boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you!" SUPPORT A FAMILY: The prospective father-in-law asked, "Young man, can you support a family?" The surprised groom-to-be replied, "Well,...
Short Dirty Joke Of The Day: Doctor My Husband Is 300% Impotent
A woman goes to her doctor, complaining that her husband is 300% impotent. The doctor says, "I'm not sure I understand what you mean." She says, "Well, the first 100% you can imagine. * * * * * * * * * * In addition, he burned his tongue and broke his finger!"
Few Clean & Short Good Humor Jokes: Best English Comedy
Wonderful coffee Customer to waiter: Everyday you charge me money for a cup of coffee. It will be wonderful if you serve me coffee free of cost today. Waiter: Sir, everyday you drink coffee from a filled cup. It will be wonderful if you drink it from an empty cup today. Doctor's promise "Doctor, are you sure I'm suffering from pneumonia? I've heard once about a...
Short Dirty Doctor Joke Of The Day: Won't You Kiss Me, Doctor?
"Won't you kiss me, doctor," asks a beautiful woman. "No, it would be against my code of ethics," says the doctor. "Please just one kiss," begs the woman. "It's completely out of the question," he goes on. * * * * * * * * * * * * "I shouldn't even really be having sex with you."
Best Comedy Clean Innocent Joke: Two Good Children In A Clinic
Joke Title: Two Tests Two children were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying very loudly. 2nd Child: Why are you crying? 1st Child: I came here for blood test. 2nd Child: So? Are you afraid? 1st Child: No. Not that. For the blood test, they cut my finger. At this, the second one started crying. The first one was astonished. 1st Child: Why are you...
Short & Hilarious: Best Doctor Jokes Collection To Laugh Today
A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor queries. "No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!" Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news. Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first. Doctor: The lab called with your...
Hilarious Short Clean Joke Of The Day: Blonde Walking Her Dogs
A blonde was walking her dogs when a man walking in the opposite direction says "oh my, you have such beautiful dogs.. what are their names?" The blonde replies "Well, the taller one is Timex and the shorter one is Rolex." The man responds "Huh.. that's interesting.. why did you name them such names?" The blonde sighs and shakes her head. "Everyone keeps asking me the...
Husband Wife Short Joke Of The Day: How To Enjoy Sunday?
Husband Darling, my sweet heart I will be enjoying this Sunday. Wife: How? Husband: I bought three tickets for the movie. Wife: thats great, but we are two, why you bought three tickets ??? * * * * * * * Husband: Darling one for you, one for your mother and one for your brother. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hilarious Lame Short Joke Of The Day: How To Make 50 People Fool
A newsboy was standing on the corner with a stack of papers, yelling, "Read all about it. Fifty people fooled! Fifty people fooled!" Curious, a man walked over, bought a paper, and checked the front page. Finding nothing, the man said, "There's nothing in here about fifty people being fooled." The newsboy ignored him and went on, calling out, * * * * * * * * * "Read all about it. Fifty-one people...
Comedy Husband Wife Short Joke: Good Compliment
A man, standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror and says to his wife, "I feel horrible, I look fat, ugly and out of shape. Pay me a compliment." * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * The wife replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."
Little Johnny v/s Maths Teacher Joke: New Generation Student
Math Teacher: Johnny, Tell me, If you have 12 chocolates and,... You give 5 to Sophia, 3 to Emma and, 4 to Isabella, Then what will you get? Little Johnny says: * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * "3 New Girlfriends Mam...!!!"
Little Johnny v/s School Teachers & Parents: Hilarious Clean Jokes
Teacher: If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got? Little Johnny: Seven! Teacher: No, listen carefully again. If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got? Little Johnny: Seven! Teacher: Let's try this another way. If I give you two apples and two apples...
Hilarious Clean Humor Short Joke: Gracious Neighbour & His Dog
Bernard, who is noted for his gracious manners,.. Was awakened one morning at 4.44 A.M. by his ringing telephone... "Your dog's barking, and it's keeping me awake," said an angry voice. Bernard thanked the caller and politely asked his name and number before hanging up. The next morning at precisely 4.44 A.M., Bernard called his neighbor back... * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * "Good morning, Mr. Williams... Just called to...
Hilariously Clean Marriage Humor Short Joke: Smart Widow
A widow recently married a widower. Soon after the marriage she was accosted by a friend who laughingly remarked: "I suppose, like all men who have been married before, Your husband sometimes talks about his first wife?" "Oh, not any more, he doesn't," the other replied. "What stopped him?" She answered: * * * * * * * * "I started talking about my next husband."
Hilariously Clean Short Marriage Humor Joke: Nail Biting Habit
Two women friends are chatting about their family and husbands. Women 1 : I am very frustrated and worried about my husbands nail biting habit. I tried lot of things that he should stop biting nails. Women 2 : Oh that's simple, even my husband have that habit of nail biting. I only did one work and that's it. No more nail biting. Women...
Hilarious Dirty Joke: Husband, Wife And Laptop Password
A woman helps her husband to set up a new laptop. Once it is completed, She tells him to select a password, Selecting a word that he'll always remember. As the computer asks him to enter it, He looks at his wife and with a macho gesture and a wink in his eye, He types "mypen*s". As he hits "enter" to validate the selection, His wife collapses...
Small Joke For Kids: New Teacher, Little Johnny And Psychology Course
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds,... Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said,... "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" Little Johnny said:,... * * * * * * * * * * "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
Good Clean Joke For Kids: 2 Twins Changing Their Name
There are a pair of twins called Ving and Ling. Ving decided to go to the town hall to change his name. Ling decided to give him a lift there. When they arrived Ling reminded Ving that he would disgrace their family if he changed his name to Lee. Ving takes a form and quickly fills it out to change his name. He sends...