Monday, June 10, 2019
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Hilariously Best Women Joke Of The Day: New Husband Store
A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City,... Where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch... You...
Hilarious Marriage Joke Of The Day: Best Husband In The World
There are several men sitting around in the locker room of a golf club. After a round, showering and getting changed for the 19th hole. Suddenly a mobile phone on one of the benches rings. One of the men picks it up, and the following conversation ensues: (H - Husband, W - Wife) H - "Hello?" W - "Honey, it's me. Are you at the...
Hilarious Good Marriage Humor Joke: Old Woman v/s Sons-in-law
Joke Title: Test An old woman had 3 daughters. One day she decided to test her Sons-in-law. One day she was walking along a lakeshore with the first son-in-law. Purposefully, she fell down in the lake and started yelling for help. The first son-in-law jumped into the water and dragged her out into the shore. The next day he found a brand new E Class...
Hilarious Naughty Joke Of The Day: Wife Likes Her Birthday Gift
Adam was talking to his friend at the bar, and said: "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday - she has everything, and besides,... she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I'm stuck." His friend said: "I have an idea! Why don't you make up a certificate saying she can have 60 minutes of great sex, any...
Hilarious Bad Joke Of The Day: Trusted Friend & Wrong Key
All the good knights were leaving for the Crusades. One knight told his best friend, "My bride is without doubt one of the most beautiful women in the world. It would be a terrible waste if no man could have her. Therefore, as my best and most trusted friend, I am leaving you the key to her chastity belt to use should I not...
Best Marriage Humor: A Man and A Woman Sleeping in Train
A man and a woman, who had never met before, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two were tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper bunk and she in the lower. At 2:00 AM, he leaned over and gently wakes the woman, saying, "Ma'am,...
Simple Clean Joke Of The Day: Two Lawyer Friends Playing Golf
Joke Title: Oh, Those Darn Lawyers Two lawyers, Jon and Ethan, head out for their usual 9 holes of golf. Jon offers Ethan a $50 bet. Ethan agrees and they're off. They shoot a great game. After the 8th hole, Ethan is ahead by one stroke, but cuts his ball into the rough on the 9th. "Help me find my ball. Look over there," he...
Hilarious Humor Of The Day: Great Quotes & Saying On Marriage
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. David Bissonette When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. Sacha Gui try After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they...
Best Women Joke Of The Day: Good Genie v/s Man's Wish
Joke Title: If You Had One Wish A guy is walking along the beach in Malibu, finds a bottle, and picks it up. Immediately, a genie pops out and replies, "Thanks for letting me out! For your kindness, I will grant you one wish." The guy says, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I can't because I'm too afraid to fly and...
Hilarious Cop Joke: DEA Officer Stops At A Ranch in Texas
DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas, and talks with an old rancher,... He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illgally grown drgs." The rancher says, "Okay , but do not go in that field over there," as he points out the location. The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, "Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me." Reaching into...
Best Comedy Joke: A Couple Want To Have Children But The Wife
A couple want to have children but the wife can't get pregnant,... So they go to see a priest for advice. The priest tells them they came at the right time,... Since his superior just sent him to Rome for 10 years, and he's leaving tomorrow. "As soon as I'll get there, I'll immediately light a candle for you," He promises. Time passes and the...
Hilarious Political Comedy Joke: George Bush v/s School Kids
George Bush goes to a primary school to talk about the war. After his talk, he offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and George asked: "What is your name?" Boy: "Bob." George: "And what is your question, Bob?" Bob: "I have 3 questions." "First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?" "Second, why are you president when...
Hilarious Marriage Humor Of The Day: Smart Divorced Barbie
A man was driving home one evening and realized that it was his daughter's birthday and he hadn't bought her a present. He drove to the mall and ran to the toy store and he asked the store manager, "How much is that new Barbie in the window?" The Manager replied, "Which one? We have 'Barbie goes to the gym' for $19.95, 'Barbie goes...
Hilarious Best Student Vs Professor Joke: Legal Or Logical?
After having failed his exam in "Logistics and Organization", a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it. Student: "Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?" Professor: "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!" Student: "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my...
Hilarious Bad Dirty Non Veg Joke Of The Day: Defective Parrot
A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?" The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot." "Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!" "I got every word," says...
Hilarious Joke: Husband Demands A Divorce In Letter To Wife
This is the letter that the man wrote to his wife: Dear Wife, I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today &...
Non Veg Joke: Hubby Asked Wife If She Had Ever Been Unfaithful
Husband asked his wife if she had ever been unfaithful. "Martha, soon we will be married 50 years, and there's something I have to know. In all of these 50 years, have you ever been unfaithful to me?" Martha replied, "Well Henry, I have to be honest with you.. Yes, I've been unfaithful to you three times during these 50 years, but always...
Hilarious Joke Of The Day: The Best Husband In The World
A cellphone starts ringing in the locker room of a gym. A man, fresh out of the shower with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist, answers. The other people in the locker room listen out of curiosity. "Hello?" "A women's voice answers, "Hi babe, it's me. Are you at the gym?" "Yep." "So I'm just doing a little shopping and found this amazing...
Joke Of The Day: Widow's Brilliant Revenge Is Ingenious
There was a man who had worked all of his life and has saved all of his money. He was a real cheapskate when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything. One day, the man fell ill. He was told by the doctors that he didn't have long to live. After finding out, the first thing he told...
Joke Of The Day: Young Salesman Shocks His Boss At New Job
A young man from Minnesota moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job. The manager asks, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says, "Yeah. I was a salesman back in Minnesota." The boss liked the kid and gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and...
Dirty Hilarious Joke: The Pearly Gates Entrance Exam
It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy. The new law was that in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a really bad day on the day that you died. The policy would go into effect at noon the next day. So, the next day at 12:01 the first person came...
Hilarious Clean Joke: Husband Goes Police Station To Report Missing Wife
Husband went to the police station to report that his wife was missing... Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home... Sergeant: What is her height? Husband: Gee, I'm not sure. About five-feet four. Sergeant: Weight? Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat. Sergeant: Colour of eyes? Husband: Never really noticed, brown or green. Sergeant: Colour of hair? Husband: Changes a...
Hilarious Joke: A Good Bar Joke That Always Makes Women Laugh
Jack woke up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas party. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he as feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he saw was couple of aspirins next to a glass of water...
A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial. "Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?" he asked. "No sir," the policeman responded, "but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away." "Officer, who provided this description?" "The officer who responded to the scene." "A fellow officer provided the description of this...
Joe passed away. His will provided $30,000 for an elaborate funeral. As the last guests departed the affair, his wife, Helen, turned to her oldest friend. "Well, I'm sure Joe would be pleased," she said. "I'm sure you're right," replied Jody, who lowered her voice and leaned in close. "How much did this really cost?" "All of it," said Helen. "Thirty thousand." "No!" Jody exclaimed. "I...
Adam, a very good looking successful man decided that it was his birthright to marry only a perfect and equally beautiful woman so that they would produce equally beautiful offspring. To achieve his goal, Adam went out to explore the world and look for the woman who would meet his high standards and with whom he could spend the rest...
An elderly man in Miami calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing. Forty-five years of misery is enough." "Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. "We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says. "We're sick of...