Wednesday, June 26, 2019
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Tag: Humorous Jokes In English

Hilarious Clean Marriage Humor Joke: How To Become A Dad?
I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that. "Why?" my daughter asked. "Because it's been on the ground, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty, and probably has germs." I...
Best Hilarious Pregnancy Humor Every Women Must Read: The Washcloth
Joke Title: The Washcloth This has to be read, laughed at and passed on. There is not a woman alive today who won't crack up over this! This is a real incident, and no its not me so ignore the I's and me's. I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call...
Hilarious Best Marriage Humor Joke Of The Day: Married Too Long
Three women: one engaged, one married and one a mistress,.. Are chatting over lunch and the conversation turns to their relationships. They decided that night to surprise their men.. All three would wear a black leather bra and thong, stiletto heels, and a mask over their eyes. A few days later they meet up for lunch. The engaged woman said: The other night when...
Hilarious Best Marriage Humor Of The Day: Mid Life Crises Solved
When I was married 25 years, I took a look at my wife one day and said, "Honey, 25 years ago we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25-year-old blonde." "Now we have a nice house, nice car,...
Great Marriage Humor: Quotes, Sayings & Mix Short Jokes
My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't. Marriage is a three ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. For Sale: Wedding dress, size 8. Worn once by mistake. There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman: Before marriage and after marriage. Why were hurricanes usually named after women? Because when...
Best Husband Wife Humor Of The Day: Before & After Marriage
Marriage... in different directions... Before the marriage: He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait. She: Do you want me to leave? He: NO! Don't even think about it. She: Do you love me? He: Of course! She: Have you ever cheated on me? He: NO! Why you even asking? She: Will you kiss me? He: Yes! She: Will you hit me? He: No way! I'm not such kind...
Few Clean & Short Good Humor Jokes: Best English Comedy
Wonderful coffee Customer to waiter: Everyday you charge me money for a cup of coffee. It will be wonderful if you serve me coffee free of cost today. Waiter: Sir, everyday you drink coffee from a filled cup. It will be wonderful if you drink it from an empty cup today. Doctor's promise "Doctor, are you sure I'm suffering from pneumonia? I've heard once about a...
Hilarious Humor Of The Day: Great Quotes & Saying On Marriage
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. David Bissonette When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. Sacha Gui try After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they...
Hilarious Humor Hospital Best Short Jokes: Doctor VS Patient
Peter called his doctor's office for an appointment. "I'm sorry," said the receptionist, "we can't fit you in for at least two weeks." "But I could be dead by then!" "No problem. If your wife lets us know, we'll cancel the appointment." Patient: "Nurse, I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes." Nurse: "Have you seen a doctor?" Patient: "No, just spots." Question: Does an apple...
Hilariously Comedy Humor: Reason Why Never Visit A 5 Star Hotel
Question : "What would you like to have .. Fruit juice, Soda, Tea, Chocolate, Milo, or Coffee?" Answer: "Tea please." Question : "Ceylon tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Ice tea or green tea?" Answer : "Ceylon tea." Question : "How would you like it? black or white?" Answer : "White." Question : "Milk, Whitener, or Condensed milk?" Answer : "With milk." Question : "Goat...
Comedy Husband Wife Short Joke: Good Compliment
A man, standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror and says to his wife, "I feel horrible, I look fat, ugly and out of shape. Pay me a compliment." * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * The wife replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."
Best Women Joke Of The Day: Good Genie v/s Man's Wish
Joke Title: If You Had One Wish A guy is walking along the beach in Malibu, finds a bottle, and picks it up. Immediately, a genie pops out and replies, "Thanks for letting me out! For your kindness, I will grant you one wish." The guy says, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I can't because I'm too afraid to fly and...
Women Humor: The Last Laugh Is Reserved For The Ladies
Here are some words of advice and comfort for all you ladies out there. Get ready to do what you do best: laugh your heart out! Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door. If they put a man on the moon - they should be...
Funny Joke: A Rabbi & A Priest Decide To Buy A Car Together
A priest and a rabbi operated a church and a synagogue across the street from each other. Since their schedules intertwined, they decided to go in together to buy a car. After the purchase, they drove it home and parked it on the street between them. A few minutes later, the rabbi looked out and saw the priest sprinkling water on their...
Good Clean Joke Of The Day: Depressed Man v/s Doctor's Therapy
A man walked into a therapist's office looking very depressed. "Doc, you've got to help me. I can't go on like this." "What's the problem?" the doctor inquired. "Well, I'm 35 years old and I still have no luck with the ladies. No matter how hard I try, I just seem to scare them away." "My friend, this is not a serious problem....
Hilarious Political Comedy Joke: George Bush v/s School Kids
George Bush goes to a primary school to talk about the war. After his talk, he offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and George asked: "What is your name?" Boy: "Bob." George: "And what is your question, Bob?" Bob: "I have 3 questions." "First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?" "Second, why are you president when...
Hilarious Marriage Humor Of The Day: Smart Divorced Barbie
A man was driving home one evening and realized that it was his daughter's birthday and he hadn't bought her a present. He drove to the mall and ran to the toy store and he asked the store manager, "How much is that new Barbie in the window?" The Manager replied, "Which one? We have 'Barbie goes to the gym' for $19.95, 'Barbie goes...
Hilarious Clean Bar Joke Of The Day: Good Nun vs Vodka
A man is drinking in a bar when a nun harasses him about drinking. In self-defense the man says, "Who told you that drinking is bad?" Nun : Mother Superior told me. Man : So, have you ever tried it? Nun : No, I haven't ever taken a drink of hard liquor. Man : Well, don't criticize me if you haven't tried it. I'll tell you...
Best & Good Short English Humor Jokes: Hilarious One Liners
• Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. • I asked my new girlfriend what sort of books she's interested in, she said: Check books. • The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the prices of new car. • Sometimes when I...
Hilarious Good Humor For Women On This Planet: Men Are Like
Now days, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage. #1. Men are like,... Laxatives,... They irritate the crap out of you. #2. Men are like,... Bananas,... The older they get, the less firm they are. #3. Men are like,... Weather,... Nothing can be done to change them. #4....
Hilarious Short Marriage Humor Joke Of The Day: Same Service
A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, "When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it's all different. I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking." "Why complain ?" said the counselor, * * * * * * * * "You re still...
Hilarious Student Humor Joke Of The Day: Time to Study
Hi Friends, It Is No Fault Of Student Because A Year Has Only 365 Days. Days In A Year = 365 Sundays = 52 Days Sundays Are Meant For Rest Days Left = 313 Days Summer Vacations = 60 Days Weather Is Very Hot, and its a Vacation Days Left = 253 Days 8 Hours Of Daily Sleep = 122 Days Sleep Is Necessary Days Left = 131 1 Hour Daily...
Hilarious Good Clean Marriage Humor Joke: Most Damaging Food?
Joke Title: What is the most damaging food? A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here,... Years ago, Red meat is awful. Vegetables can be disastrous,... And none of us realizes the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the...
Clean & Simple Husband Wife Humor Joke: Mailman's Serene Knocking
A woman came storming at the Postal counter. She gave a parcel Pick-up notice and complained, "This morning, your mailman came with our parcel for delivery. He left this note for us to pick up from Post office, but my husband was home all the time. Why could not he knock our doors and deliver parcel at home?" The Post master was polite and...
Hilarious Humorous Lawyer Joke: A Rabbi, A Hindu And A Lawyer
A Rabbi, a Hindu and a lawyer were driving late at night in the country when their car suddenly expired. They set out to find help, and came to a farmhouse. When they knocked at the door, the farmer explained that he had only two beds, and one of the three had to sleep in the barn with the animals. The three...
Hilarious Humor Joke On Earth Creation: God Meets Bureaucracy
In the beginning God Created heaven and the earth. Quickly he was faced with a class action suit for failure to file an environmental impact statement. He was granted a temporary permit for the project, but was stymied with the Cease and Desist order for the earthly part. Appearing at the hearing, God was asked why he began his earthly project in...
Hilarious Humor Of The Day: Benefits Of Daily Exercise In You Life
Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000/month. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Now she's 97 years old and we don't know where the hell she is. The only reason I would take up exercising is so that...