Tag: Indian Jokes In English

Officer : What Is Your Name? Candidate : M P. Sir. Officer : Tell Me Properly. Candidate : Mohan Pal Sir. Officer : Your Father's Name? Candidate : M P. Sir. Officer : What Does That Mean? Candidate : Manmohan Pal Sir. Officer : Your Native Place. Candidate : M P. Sir. Officer : Is It Madhya Pradesh? Candidate : No, Munnur Pal Sir. Officer : What Is Your Qualification? Candidate :...

Joke Title: American Accent An Indian lady (NRI) returned from the US to India and is window shopping in Delhi. Suddenly she realizes she is late for an appointment. She is not wearing a watch so she sees a small shop on the roadside and asks in a very American accent of the sardar owner "What's the time?" The sardar (santa singh) is...

JOKE TITLE: A SHORT MARRIAGE STORY Reena was about to leave office after finishing her work. She got a call from her husband Abhishek, Reena (R): "Hello, yes Abhishek ". Abhishek (A): "Reena, can you open my gmail and get a print out of the mail from that US consultant I forgot to take it in my office." (R): "Yes, I can, I need...

Decide Hansa : Praful "Decide" matlab? Praful : "Decide" Hansa ... vo Casettee player mein hum casettee nahi dalte usme hota hai na .... "A side" -- "B side" .... toa "C-side" ... "D- side" ---> "Decide" Mature Hansa : Mature matlab???? Praful: jab apna mahesh... chori karte hue pakda gaya tha.. tab usne kya kaha tha ????? Hansa: usne kaha tha.. mujhe chodd do.. "MAIN...

Boy: Chalo kisi viraan jagah chalte hain! Girl: Tum aisivaisi harkat to nahi karoge? Boy: Bilkul nahi! Girl: To phir rehne do... kya fayda. Ravan was sent to court & was asked to keep a hand on Geeta. He refused saying: Sita par hath rakh kar itni musibat aayi! Ab Geeta pe haath nahin rakhunga. Agar aap bus pe chade... ya phir bus aap pe chade... dono...

Santa : Why did the man put his radio in his refrigerator? Banta : I give up. Santa : Stupid, because he wanted to hear cool music. Jasmeet : "Your honor, I want to divorce my husband Santa." Judge : "But why?" Jasmeet : "Because he is not faithful to me." Judge : "How do you know ?" Jasmeet : "My lord, not a single child...

A lie machine is bought. It works in the following way... If the truth is told - the machine won't give any sound If a lie is told - the machine will give a sound 'KIRRRRRRRR...' Now there are three Indians. One Bengali, one Madrasi and one Sardarji. Their correspondences are given infront of the lie machine. And Here it goes... Bengali:- 'I think I can...

Enough of Sardar jokes... Mallu jokes are here! 1) What is the tax on a Mallu's income called? IngumDax 2) Where did the Malayali study? In the ko-liage. 3) Why did the Malayali not go to ko-liage today? He is very bissi. 4) Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket? To go to Thuubai, zimbly to meet his ungle in Gelff. 5) Why do...

Joke Title: Friend Circle Lalu Prasad Yadav came home from a secret two year mission only to find his wife, Rabri, with a new born baby. Furious, he was determined to track down the father to extract revenge. "Was it my friend Banta", he demanded. "No !" his weeping wife replied. "Was it my friend Ramta then?" he asked. "No !!!" she said even more...

Three Khoja friends meet after many years. Two of them have just returned from spending some years in the new motherland, Canada. The first one says, "When I went to Canada, they nicknamed me 'Sad' because my full name is Sadru!" The second one says, "When I went to Canada, my neighbors called me 'Bad' because my full name is Badru!" The third one says, * * * * * * * * * * * "I...

Generation Next Motto: Na hum shaadi karenge, na apne bachchon ko karne denge. "U love someone U marry someone else. The one you marry becomes your wife or husband. And the one you loved becomes the password of your mail id." There's only one perfect child in the world & every mother has it. There's only one perfect wife in the world & every neighbor...

Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe. 5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Kantibhai Shah. Bill Gates: "Thank you for coming. Those who do not know JAVA may leave." 2000 people leave the room. Kantibhai says to himself:, "I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll...

A rich Arab was admitted to the Lilavati Hospital in Mumbai for a heart transplant. Prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to store his blood type in case need arose. As the Arab had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally. So the call went out to a number of countries. Finally a Gujarati was located who had a...

Lalu Prasad Yadav driving along the highway one evening when all of a sudden nature calls. He sees a little bar up the way and he pulls into the parking lot. When he gets inside, he finds the place is packed! The bar is crowded with people trying to get drinks, ladies are dancing on the tables and there's hardly standing room...

This is a conversation that took place between (Y) and a marketing guy (X) X: Which shaving cream do you use? Y: Baba's X: Which aftershave do you use? Y: Baba's X: Which deodorant do you use? Y: Baba's X: Which toothpaste do you use? Y: Baba's X: Which shampoo do you use? Y: Baba's X: Which socks do you use? Y: Baba's X (Frustrated): Okay, tell me, what is this Baba?...

In the days when you couldn't count on a public toilet facility, an English woman was planning a trip to India. She was registered to stay in a small guest house owned by the local schoolmaster. She was concerned as to whether the guest house contained a WC. In England, a bathroom is commonly called a WC which stands for "Water Closet". She...

While visiting India, George Bush is invited to tea with Abdul Kalam. He Asks Kalam what his leadership philosophy is. He says that, it is to Surround him with intelligent people. Bush asks how he knows if they're intelligent. "I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Kalam. "Allow me to demonstrate." Bush watches as Kalam phones Manmohan Singh and says, "Mr. Prime...

Joke Title: Engineers defined like this Once a man went to a Veterinary Doctor in India and said: "Doctor I have come on vacation for a month so that I can get myself treated fully within this period." Doctor: "I think you should go to the Doctor opposite to my clinic, see that board." Man: "No, Doctor, I have come to you only." Doctor:...

An Indian Malayali guy named "Anantharaman Subbaraman" arrived at the New York airport,... and ended up waiting for his visa for about 2 hours for the authorities to call his name. He got fed up and went to them and asked why they haven't called his name yet. They said that they have been calling him for the last 2 hours as,... * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * "Anotherman...

A man was brought in to the hospital intensive care unit ward, put in a bed tubes coming out everywhere. A week later, another man was admitted, in a similar condition. Both lay there, machines pinging, tubes poking etc. A couple more weeks before one of them had the strength to raise his hand and point to himself and say, "Bengali." The other...

It was October and the Indians on a remote reservation asked their new Chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a Chief in a modern society he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like. Nevertheless, to be...

Ek gadha: "Yaar mera maalik mujhe bahut maarta hai." Dusara gadha: "To tu bhag kyu nahi jata." Pehla Gadha: "Bhaag to jaata par yahan future bada bright hai... Maalik ki khoobsoorat beti jab shararat karti hai to maalik kahta hai, * * * * * * * * * * * * * * "Teri shadi iss gadhe se kar dunga...!" Bas isi ummeed me baitha hoon."

Kanjibhai was preparing wedding cards for their son at the printers in India. Kanjibhai was not very good at English so he asked the printer to help him. After the printer had presented Kanjibhai with a draft, Kanjibhai quickly pointed out that the RSVP was missing. The printer was surprised by Kanjibhai's knowledge and asked him if Kanjibhai knew what it meant. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Kanjibhai was...

Santa Singh gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. He has never been on an airplane anywhere and gets excited and tense. As soon as he boards the plane, a Boeing 747, he started jumping in excitement, running from seat to seat and shouting, "BOEING ! BOEING !! BOEING !!! BO....". The pilot in the cockpit hears the noise and annoyed...

Circuit: Bhai america mein address puchega tho kya bolne ka? Munna Bhai: Dhobhi Ghaat. Circuit: Bhai english mein bolneka tho? Munna Bhai: Bolne ka, Washing Town. Circuit: Bhai idhar aane ko kya bolne ka? Munna Bhai: Come Here. Circuit: Bhai phir udhar jaaneko kya bolthe hai? Munna Bhai: Pehle udhar jaaneka phir bolneka come here. Circuit: Bhai yeh kaisa bolne ka - chale hat hawa aane de? Munna...

Santa Singh died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions: Name two days of the week that begin with "T". How many seconds are there in a year? Santa...

The income tax officer decides to audit businessman Kewalramani, and summons him to the income tax office. The officer is not surprised when Kewalramani shows up with his attorney, Jamshedji... The officer says, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you won money gambling. I'm not sure the income tax finds that believable." "I'm a...