Wednesday, October 23, 2019
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Hilariously Best Women Joke Of The Day: New Husband Store
A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City,... Where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch... You...
Hilarious Marriage Joke Of The Day: Best Husband In The World
There are several men sitting around in the locker room of a golf club. After a round, showering and getting changed for the 19th hole. Suddenly a mobile phone on one of the benches rings. One of the men picks it up, and the following conversation ensues: (H - Husband, W - Wife) H - "Hello?" W - "Honey, it's me. Are you at the...
Good Naughty Humor: Married Woman's Ultimate Fantasy In Three Words
A woman (mom) was sitting at a bar enjoying a cocktail after work one night, when the bar door opened and the most gorgeous hunk of a man she had ever seen entered. He was tall, muscular, and handsome, with thick dark hair and beautiful, sparkling green eyes, and his every movement was so masculine and sensuous that the woman could not...
Hilarious & Naughty Smart Wife Joke Of The Day: Present For Husband
A woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip. The wife answers: "Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?" The husband laughs and says: "An Italian girl,...!!!" The woman kept quiet and left. Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport...
Hilarious Clean Simple Joke Of The Day: Blonde vs Car Sale
Judi tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it because the car had 250,000 miles on the odometer. One day, she told her problem to a friend she worked with at a salon. Her friend told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal." "That doesn't matter," replied Judi, "I...
Best Hilarious Family Joke: Teacher v/s Kid's Moral Of The Story
A teacher told her young class to ask their parents for a family story with a moral at the end of it, and to return the next day to tell their stories. In the classroom the next day, Joe gave his example First, "My dad is a farmer and we have chickens. One Day we were taking lots of eggs to market in...
Hilarious Dirty Lawyer Best Joke Of The Day: Certain Things In Life
The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 40s or early 50s. "May I help you?" she asked. "I want to see Valerie," the man replied. "Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else," said the madam. "No. I must see Valerie," was the man's reply. Just...
Hilarious Comedy Elderly Joke Of The Day: 3 Old Age Guys
"Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old man. "You always feel like you have to pee and most of the time you stand there and nothing comes out." "Ah, that's nothing," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy, you don't have a bowel movement any more. You take laxatives, eat bran, sit on the toilet all day and nothing' comes...
Hilarious Best Joke Of The Day: Elderly Women & Speed Limit
A Police Officer was waiting along the side of a highway waiting to catch speeding drivers. There weren't as many violators this day as usual. The State Police Officer sees an old car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the...
Comedy Joke Of The Day: Best Divorce Letters With Twisty End
Dear Wife, I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came...
Hilarious Best Dirty Joke: Blind Man Walks Into A Restaurant
Joke Title: Smell Recognition A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. "I'm sorry, sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer. I'll smell it and order from there." A little...
Best Hilarious Pregnancy Humor Every Women Must Read: The Washcloth
Joke Title: The Washcloth This has to be read, laughed at and passed on. There is not a woman alive today who won't crack up over this! This is a real incident, and no its not me so ignore the I's and me's. I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call...
Dirty Joke Of The Day: Two Women Were Playing Golf
Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began...
Hilarious Best Dirty Mind Joke Of The Day: Two Nuns & A Man
There were Two Nuns. One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent. SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants. SL: It's logical....
Hilarious Bad Joke Of The Day: Little Johnny & Sunday School
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?" When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "God Almighty!" shouted Mary and the teacher...
Best Dirty Joke Of The Day: World's Most Embarrassing Moments
There was a World wide survey of "Most Embarrassing Moment in human life" the finale had the following three incidents... Third Place "It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we...
Best Hilarious Housewife Joke Of The Day: Bad Day & Phone Call
The worried housewife sprang to the telephone when it rang and listened with relief to the kindly voice in her ear. "How are you, darling?" it said. "What kind of a day are you having?" "Oh, mother," said the housewife, breaking into bitter tears, "I've had such a bad day. The baby won't eat and the washing machine broke down. I haven't had...
Best Hilarious Adam, Eve & God Joke: Why Women Are Stupid?
After spending time with Eve, Adam was walking in the Garden with God. Adam told God how much the woman means to him and how blessed he feels to have her. Adam began to ask questions about her. Adam: Lord, Eve is beautiful. Why did you make her so beautiful? God: So you will always want to look at her. Adam: Lord, her skin...
Hilarious Bad Joke Of The Day: Charlie Vs Priest At Church
Joke Title: Trading Place Charlie was responsible for taking up the offerings at a local church. One Sunday, after the service, the priest counted the money and found there was less than anticipated, given the size of the congregation. He took Charlie aside and questioned him. Charlie said that he did not take any of the offerings. The priest questioned him again and again...
Hilarious Clean Humor Joke Of The Day: Beggars Of Today
A man walks past a beggar every day and gives him $2.00 and that Continues for a year. Then suddenly the daily donation changes to $1.50 "Well," the beggar thinks, "it's still better than nothing." A year passes in this way until the man's daily donation suddenly becomes $1.00 "What's going on now?" the beggar asks his donor. "First you give me $2.00 every...
Best Lawyer Joke Of The Day: Deaf Book-Keeper, Stolen Money v/s Mafia
A Mafia Godfather finds out that his book-keeper has screwed him for ten million bucks. This book-keeper is deaf and it was considered an occupational benefit why he got the job in the first place, Since it was assumed that a deaf book-keeper would not be able to hear anything and never have to testify in court. When the Godfather goes to...
Best Hilarious Old Man Marriage Joke Of The Day: The Old Motor
The marriage of an 80 year old man and a 20 year old woman was the talk of the town. After being married a year, the couple went to the hospital for the birth of their first child. The attending nurse came out of the delivery room to congratulate the old gentleman and said, "This is amazing. How do you do it...
Best Naughty Joke Of The Day: Old Men Are Fast Thinkers Beware
One old farmer had a large pond in the back,.. fixed up nicely with picnic tables, a barbecue pit, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built. One evening, the old guy decided to go down to the pond and look it over. He hadn't been there for a...
Hilarious Naughty Women Joke Of The Day: Annual Outing
Jenny was explaining to her husband how much fun they'd had at the beach during her bridge club annual outing. "But," she told him, "it didn't end all that great for me." "Why, what happened?" he asked. "I went out to take a swim in the rough water but I didn't go out far because the waves were very bad. Then I suddenly...
Hilarious Stupid Sexy Joke Of The Day: Doctor v/s Decent Assistant
Joke Title: Mr. Paddy Doctor wanted to get off work and play golf, so he approached his assistant Paddy. "I am going golfing tomorrow Paddy and I don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all of our patients." "Yes, sir!" answers Paddy. The doctor goes off to golf and returns the following...
Best Break Up Letter: Hilariously Smart Humor Joke Of The Day
A soldier stationed in Afghanistan recently received a letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows: Dear Ricky, I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I...
Best Hilarious Joke Of The Day: Good Boss V/S Bad Little Kid
Joke Title: Kids Too Much A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, He dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper. "Hello?" "Is your daddy home?" he asked. "Yes," whispered the small voice. "May I talk with him?" The child whispered, "No." Surprised and...