Saturday, June 6, 2020
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The Rich Lawyer V/S Donation: Best Comedy Joke Of The Day
The staff at a local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute and said, "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $50,00,000 you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give...
Hilariously Good Joke: Young Woman V/S Honest Priest
A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?" "Of course. What may I do for you?" "Well, I bought an expensive! Electronic hair dryer that is well over the Customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes...
Best Women Joke Of The Day: Good Genie v/s Man's Wish
Joke Title: If You Had One Wish A guy is walking along the beach in Malibu, finds a bottle, and picks it up. Immediately, a genie pops out and replies, "Thanks for letting me out! For your kindness, I will grant you one wish." The guy says, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I can't because I'm too afraid to fly and...
Hilarious Best Business Joke Of The Day: How To Impress A Client
I was in the airport VIP lounge en route to Seattle a couple of weeks ago. While in there, I noticed Bill Gates sitting comfortably in the corner, enjoying a drink. I was meeting a very important client who was also flying to Seattle, but she was running a little bit late. Well, being a straightforward kind of guy, I approached the Microsoft chairman,...
Best Joke: On His Birthday, A Man Named Peter Was Really Upset
On his Birthday,... A man named Peter was really upset because none of his family members or near and dear ones wished him. As he walked into his office,... His secretary Anna said,... "Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!" He felt a bit better knowing that at least someone remembered. In the lunch time Anna knocked on his door and said,... "You know,...
Joke Of The Day: Old Lady Asked Her Best Friend For A Favor
Two 90-year-old women, Bertha and Betty, had been best friends all of their lives. When it was clear that Bertha was dying, Betty visited her every day. One day Betty said,.. "Bertha, we both loved playing softball all our lives, and we played all through high school. Please do me one favor: When you get to heaven, somehow you must let me know...
Hilarious Comedy Joke: A Man Is Talking To The Family Doctor
A man is talking to the family doctor:,.. "Doctor, I think my wife is going deaf." The doctor answers:,.. "Well, here's something you can try on her to test her hearing. Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question. If she doesn't answer, move a little closer and ask again. Keep repeating this until she answers. Then you'll be able to tell just...
Hilarious Dirty Joke: Two People Find Themselves Celebrating
A chicken farmer went to a local bar,... sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman perked up and said, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!" "What a coincidence," the farmer said. "This is a special day for me; I am celebrating." "This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating," Said the...
Hilarious Office Joke: Man Accidentally Angers A Genie
One day a man was waking along the beach when he tripped over a lamp. He turned around and kicked the lamp out of anger. A few seconds later,... A genie popped out of the lamp, But the genie was angry that the man had kicked his lamp. Reluctantly, the genie said,... "Even though you kicked me, I still have to give you three wishes. However...
Hilarious Joke: An Atheist, The Lord & Wild Bear In The Jungle
A photographer, who was also a confirmed atheist,.. Decided to go into the woods to capture photos of the fall foliage. It was a beautiful day: fall colors, birds chirping, a babbling brook,... And a gentle breeze rustling the leaves. While snapping shots, the photographer heard a noise behind him,... And whirled around to see a huge bear coming through the bushes. He dropped his...
Joke Of The Day: Elderly Couple Was Just Settled Down For Bed
An elderly couple was just settled down for bed,... When the old man realized he left the lights on in the greenhouse in the back yard. Then they heard voices. Three men had broken into the greenhouse. Scared, they called the police. The dispatcher replied,... He would send an officer as soon as one became available as they were all out on calls. The old man...
Clean Office Joke: A Young Programmer & His Project Manager
A young Programmer and his Project Manager board a train,... Headed through the mountains on its way to Wichita. They can find no place to sit except for two seats,.. Right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother. After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young programmer are interested in each other,.. Because they are giving...
Dirty Joke: Three Men, A Philosopher, A Mathematician & An Idiot
Three men, a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree. Before anyone knows it, the three men found themselves standing before the pearly gates of Heaven,... Where St. Peter and the Devil were standing nearby. "Gentlemen," the Devil started, "Due to the fact that Heaven is now overcrowded, St. Peter has agreed...
Hilarious Joke: Sixteen Year-Old Boy & New Chevrolet Avalanche
A sixteen year-old teenager boy came home with a new Chevrolet Avalanche, And his parents began to yell and scream,... "Where did you get that truck?!" He calmly told them, "I bought it today." "With what money?" Demanded his parents. They knew what a Chevrolet Avalanche cost. "Well," said the boy, "This one cost me just fifteen dollars." So the parents began to yell even louder. "Who would sell a...
Clean Family Joke: Couple Had Been Married For Over 50 Years
A couple had been married for over 50 years and had many children and grandchildren. One day, the eldest son calls his father for a normal chat and his father starts musing. "You know son, after 50 years, I'm not really in love with your mother any more,... I'm thinking of getting a divorce and leaving her." The son is absolutely shocked and...
Hilarious New Joke Of The Day: Who is Doctor's Best Patient?
Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients on the operating table. The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded." The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside...
Hilariously Best Old Age Comedy Joke: Three Elderly Sisters
Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96 year old puts her foot in the bathroom and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?" The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses. "Was I going up...
Hilarious Comedy Joke: The Most Unusual Funeral Procession
A man was leaving a convenience store with his espresso,... When he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary Italian man walking a dog on a leash. Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200...
Joke Of The Day: While Teaching A Class Of Good Manners
A teacher trying to teach good manners asked her students the following question: "Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?" Michael said: "Just a minute I have to go pee." The teacher responded by saying: "That would be rude and impolite. What about you Sherman,...
Best Women Joke: Wife Passes A Test At The Pearly Gates
A woman found herself standing at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter greeted her and said,... "These are the Gates to Heaven, my dear. But you must do one more thing before you can enter." The woman was very excited, and asked of St. Peter what she must do. "Spell a word," St. Peter replied. "What word?" she asked. "Any word," answered St. Peter. "It's your...
Hilarious Stupid Wife Joke: I Want A Divorce... Judge: Really?
A judge was interviewing a South Carolina woman regarding her pending divorce and asks, "What are the grounds for your divorce?" "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by." "No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?" "It is made of concrete, brick, and mortar," she responded. "I mean," he continued, "what...
Rude Insulting Joke: A Stranger Was Seated Next To Little Johnny On The Plane
A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the stranger turned to the Little Johnny and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, "What would you like to discuss?" "Oh,...
Hilarious Dirty Joke: The Woman, The Merlot And The Refusal
A man enters his favorite ritzy restaurant, and while sitting at his regular table,... He notices a gorgeous woman sitting at a table nearby all alone. He calls the waiter over and asks for their most expensive bottle of Merlot to be sent over to her,... knowing that if she accepts it, she is his for the night. The waiter gets the bottle...
Best Comedy Joke: A Couple Want To Have Children But The Wife
A couple want to have children but the wife can't get pregnant,... So they go to see a priest for advice. The priest tells them they came at the right time,... Since his superior just sent him to Rome for 10 years, and he's leaving tomorrow. "As soon as I'll get there, I'll immediately light a candle for you," He promises. Time passes and the...
Hilarious Joke: Air Force Guy Driving From McChord To Ft Lewis
There's an Air Force guy driving from McChord to Ft Lewis, and an Army guy driving from Ft Lewis to McChord. In the middle of the night with no other cars on the road they hit each other head on and both cars go flying off in different directions. The Air Force guy manages to climb out of his car and...
Hilarious Joke: A Church Matron Cooking Some Beans
One of the matrons of the church was cooking a pot of her famous beans for the church potluck. Her son, Little Johnny,... Came running through the house, BB gun in one hand, and a handful of BBs in the other. He tripped and the BBs, naturally, went right into the pot of beans. Thinking it over,... Little Johnny could think of no reason...
Hilarious Joke: I Wonder Why Elderly Lady Didn't Raise Her Hand
The preacher's Sunday sermon was,... "Forgive Your Enemies." He asked how many of the congregation have forgiven their enemies? About half held up their hands. He then repeated his question. Now about 80% held up their hands. He then repeated his question once more. All responded, except one elderly lady. "Mrs. Johnson, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?" "I don't have any." "Mrs. Johnson that is very...