Sunday, March 17, 2019
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Tag: Nasty Jokes

Hilarious School Joke Of The Day: Little Johnny v/s Science Class
In a school science class four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol. The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a jar of sperm. The fourth worm was put into a jar of soil. After one day, these were the results: 1) The first worm...
Hilarious Comedy Joke Of The Day: Lady v/s Gentleman On Bus
Joke Title: Acquainted This lady that was wearing a tight skirt was waiting at the bus stop to get onto the bus. A bus pulled up and the driver opened the doors. She tried to step up onto the step but her skirt was too tight. So she reached back to unzip and loosen it a little. She tried to step up onto the...
Hilariously Bad Shitty Joke Of The Day: World's Fastest Thing
A man is walking home through a park one night after a fancy dress party. While he is walking home he feels the need to shit so he crouches down on the grass and does his business. Just as he is finishing he sees a policeman walking towards him. He covers the shit with his hat. When the policeman arrives he asks the...
Hilarious Dirty Lawyer Best Joke Of The Day: Certain Things In Life
The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 40s or early 50s. "May I help you?" she asked. "I want to see Valerie," the man replied. "Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else," said the madam. "No. I must see Valerie," was the man's reply. Just...
Hilarious Animal Joke Of The Day: Old Elephant vs Bad Little Boy
There was this guy who bought an elderly circus elephant; Alas, he couldn't afford to feed it. He'd never seen an elephant jump with all 4 feet off the ground. So he started a contest: entry was $10, and the first person to get the elephant to jump with all 4 feet off the ground would get $50,000. All sorts of people...
Hilarious Bad Nurse Joke Of The Day: Size - Does It Matter?
A young man was so paranoid about the size of his penis that he could never work up the courage to have sex. Then one day he fell in love with a nurse. One fine evening, they went back to her place. She put on some soft music and led him into the bedroom. Totally mortified, he told her of his problem. "Don't worry,"...
Hilarious Non Veg Hospital Joke Of The Day: The New Age Baby
Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm together and have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated with it. When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital. A dozen babies are in the ward, eleven of whom are crying and screaming. Over in the corner, one baby is smiling serenely. A nurse comes by, and to the delight of...
Best Dirty Joke Of The Day: Little Johnny & Valentine's Day
Valentine's Day was quickly approaching and Little Johnny was anxious to receive and give Valentine cards during his classroom party,.. mainly because there were two girls he was particularly very fond of. The rest of his class received the usual "store bought" cheap Valentines that read cutesy "Be Mines",.. but he took special care and time in hand-making two special cards for...
Hilarious Dirty Husband Wife Joke: New Lie Detector Robot
John was a salesman's delight when it came to any kind of unusual gimmick. His wife Marsha has long ago given up trying to get him to change. One day, John came home about noon and told Marsha that he had gone to a nearby city and purchased a Robot. It was no ordinary robot, but it was in fact a Lie...
Hilarious Best Dirty Joke: Blind Man Walks Into A Restaurant
Joke Title: Smell Recognition A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. "I'm sorry, sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer. I'll smell it and order from there." A little...
Hilariously Best Dirty Short Joke Of The Day: Force Feeding
George has an operation on his neck, so he has to be force-fed through his ass. At mealtime, the nurse rolls in a big feeding machine, attaches one end of a tube to the machine, and shoves the other end far up George's ass. After a few days of the force-feeding, George says, "Hey, nurse, have you got another one of those...
Hilarious Naughty Joke: Six Old Ladies Naked On The Grass
Joke Title: Business Strategy One day while passing a nursing home I noticed six old ladies lying naked on the grass. I thought this was a bit unusual but I continued on my way to the store. On my return trip, I passed the same nursing home with the same six old ladies laying on the lawn. This time my curiosity got the...
Hilarious Dirty Biker Joke Of The Day: Biker In A Roadside Bar
A biker pulls up outside a roadside bar in Louisiana after a long day in the saddle. Stiffly he walks in, gets a beer and sits down. By his third, he realises some of the locals are looking at him and whispering. The biker walks out and returns a few minutes later with an alligator. He drops it on the floor, drops his...
Hilarious Non Veg Joke: Little Johnny's Dirty Class For Medicines
Joke Title: Laugh... With Viagra At school little Johnny's class is learning about medicines. Sister Catherine, the teacher, asks the pupils what kind of medicines they know and what they are used for. The first pupil said: "Tylenol?" "Very good! And what is it used for?" "It is used for a headache." The second pupil said: "Nytol." "Excellent!" said Sister Catherine. "And what it is used...
Hilarious Animals Non Veg Long Dirty Joke: How's Your Day Been Ducks?
This guy walks into a quiet bar. He is carrying three ducks. One in each hand and one under his left arm. He places them on the bar. He has a few drinks and chats with the bartender. The bartender is experienced and has learned not to ask people about the animals that they bring into the bar, so he doesn't mention the ducks. They...
Bad Joke Of The Day: Couple Were Waiting Their 16 Year Old Son
A couple were sitting up waiting for their 16 year old son to come home from a social engagement,.. when the boy came into the house with a big smile on his face. "Hi, Mum! Hi, Dad! he said breathlessly,.. "Guess what! I've just had sex for the first time, and it was wonderful!" His mother turned red and said to her husband,.. "He's...
Hilarious Bad Non Veg Dirty Joke Of The Day: Annal Deodorant
A man walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist for some rectal deodorant. The pharmacist explains to the man they don't sell rectal deodorant and that in fact he's never heard of it before. The man assures the pharmacist that he has been buying the stuff from this store for years and needs some more. "I'm sorry", says the pharmacist, "we...
Hilarious Bad Joke: Little Girl & Father's Sudden Bizarre Knowledge
A little girl runs out to the backyard where her father is working and asks him,... "Daddy what's sex?" Her father sits her down and tells her all about the birds and the bees. He tells her about conception, sexual intercourse, sperms and eggs. He goes on to tell her about puberty, menstruation, erection, wet-dreams... and he thinks, what the hell, and goes on...
Hilarious Non Veg Joke: Young Man Asked Doctor For Virginity Test
A young man was planning to get married,.. and asked his doctor how he could tell if his bride is a virgin. The doctor said, "Well, you need three things,.. A can of red paint, a can of blue paint and a shovel.." The man was astonished and asked, "So what do I do with these?" The doctor replied: "Before the wedding night,.. you paint...
Bar Joke: A Nazi Walks Into a Bar And Notices A Jewish man
A Nazi walks into a bar, looks around, and notices an older orthodox Jewish man seated at a nearby table. "Barman", he says, "A round on me, for all your patrons, but not for the old Jewish geezer right there." As everyone in the bar receives their drinks, he looks directly at the Jew with a nasty little smile. Surprisingly the Jew nods...
Hilarious Naughty Joke: Farmer Brings His Rooster To The Movie
A farmer decided he wanted to go to town and see a movie. As he approached, the ticket agent asked, "Sir, what's that on your shoulder?" The old farmer said, "That's my pet rooster Chuck. Wherever I go, Chuck goes." "I'm sorry, sir," said the ticket agent. "We can't allow animals in the theater." The old farmer went around the corner and stuffed Chuck down his...
Dark Humor Joke: Married Man, Cheating Wife And Cabby
A man returning home a day early from a business trip got into a taxi at the airport. It was after midnight. While en route to his home, he asked the cabby if he would be a witness. The man suspected his wife was having an affair and he intended to catch her in the act. For $100, the cabby agreed. Quietly arriving at...
Naughty Innocence Joke: It's Easy For Words To Be Misconstrued
A 5-year old girl went to visit her grandmother one day. She played with her dolls as grandma dusted the furniture. At one point, she looked up and asked: "Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend?" Grandma replied: "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The TV evangelists keep me company and make me...
Rude Joke: Bus Driver Insults A Passenger's Baby
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. With a grimace, the bus driver says, "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman, fuming, walks to the rear of the bus and sits down. Unable to contain her rage any longer, she turns to the man sitting next to her and vents: "That driver just insulted me!" The man, understanding, replies emphatically, "You go...
Joke Of The Day: Two Marines Played A Mean Prank On An Army Soldier
Two Marines boarded a quick shuttle flight out of Dallas, headed for Houston. One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat. Just before take-off, an Army soldier got on and took the aisle seat next to the two Marines. The Soldier kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Marine in the...
Hilariously Stupid Joke: A Blonde Being Asked To Climb A Pole
A group of guys were chatting with a hot good-looking blonde and, somewhat improbably, asked her to climb this pole that was conveniently nearby. For whatever reason, she decided to do it. When she told her mother what happened, her mother scolded her: "Don't you understand that they only wanted to see your underwear?" The girl was understandably upset at being very stupid and...
Bad Arrogant Joke: The Prudish Son and the Sausage Factory
There once was a man who owned a sausage factory, and he was showing his arrogant preppy son around his factory. Try as he might to impress his snobbish son, his son would just sneer. They approached the heart of the factory, where the father thought, "this should impress him!" He showed his son a machine and said: "Son, this is the heart of the...