Tuesday, July 23, 2019
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Tag: New Dirty Jokes

Good Naughty Humor: Married Woman's Ultimate Fantasy In Three Words
A woman (mom) was sitting at a bar enjoying a cocktail after work one night, when the bar door opened and the most gorgeous hunk of a man she had ever seen entered. He was tall, muscular, and handsome, with thick dark hair and beautiful, sparkling green eyes, and his every movement was so masculine and sensuous that the woman could not...
Best & Hilarious Doctor Joke Of The Day: Dentist's Dirty Wisdom
A man went to the dental surgeon to have a tooth pulled. The dentist pulls out a freezing needle to give the man. "No way! No needles! I hate needles!" the patient said. The dentist starts to hook up the laughing gas and the man again objects. "I can't do the gas thing - the thought of having the gas mask on is...
Hilarious Dirty Husband Wife Best Joke: No More Bad Headaches?
A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those Headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone." "No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?" His wife replies, Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me To Stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat,... "I do not Have a Headache; I do not have a headache, I do not...
Best Dirty Joke Of The Day: Bad Woman & Her Daytime Affair
A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One wet and lusty day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway. "Oh my God - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband's home early!" "I can't jump out the window, It's...
Hilarious Dirty Parrots Joke Of The Day: Who Needs Prayers?
Joke Title: Who Needs Prayers? A lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing. They keep saying "Hi, we're hot. Do you want a date?" "That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed. "But I do have a solution to your problem. Bring your two parrots over to my...
Hilarious Best Friendship Joke Of The Day: Honesty is Best Policy
Jack decided to go skiing with his best friend buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night. "I realize it's terrible weather out there and...
Hilarious Dirty Party Joke Of The Day: Bad Night Game Who Am I?
One Monday morning a guy was in the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he notices that both cars are in the driveway, his wonder is cut short by Billy the homeowner coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles. "Wow Billy, looks like you guys had a hell of a party...
Hilarious Best Dirty Joke: Blind Man Walks Into A Restaurant
Joke Title: Smell Recognition A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. "I'm sorry, sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer. I'll smell it and order from there." A little...
Best Dirty Non Veg Joke Of The Day: Honest Girl & Virgin Husband
A very 'straight and honest' girl is going to Town. Before she left, her mother gave her some advice: "Daughter, when you're in Town and if you're looking for a match there,... you must take note of the following the requirements mother set for you. You must find a man that is 'faithful', 'thrifty' and must be a 'virgin'." With this advice from her...
Hilarious Naughty Joke Of The Day: Wife Likes Her Birthday Gift
Adam was talking to his friend at the bar, and said: "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday - she has everything, and besides,... she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I'm stuck." His friend said: "I have an idea! Why don't you make up a certificate saying she can have 60 minutes of great sex, any...
Dirty Joke Of The Day: Two Women Were Playing Golf
Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began...
Hilarious Saucy Joke: Young Couple On Their Wedding Night
A young couple on their wedding night were in their honeymoon suite. As they were undressing for bed, the husband, a big burly man, tossed his trousers to his new bride and said: "Here, put these on." She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body. "I can't wear your trousers," she said. "That's right,'' said the husband, "and don't you...
Hilarious Husband Wife Bad Joke Of The Day: Fishing Surprise
Saturday morning I got up early, put on my long johns, dressed quietly,... made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck,... and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. There was snow mixed with the rain and the wind was blowing 50 mph. I pulled back into the garage, turned on...
Hilarious Best Dirty Mind Joke Of The Day: Two Nuns & A Man
There were Two Nuns. One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent. SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants. SL: It's logical....
Hilarious Bad Comedy Joke Of The Day: Women & Hardware Store
Bob was fixing a door and he found that he needed a new hinge,.. So he sent his wife Mary to the hardware store. At the hardware store, Mary saw a beautiful teapot on a top shelf while she was waiting for Carl, the manager, to finish waiting on a customer. When Carl was finished, Mary asked: "How much for the teapot?" Carl replied:...
Best Dirty Joke Of The Day: World's Most Embarrassing Moments
There was a World wide survey of "Most Embarrassing Moment in human life" the finale had the following three incidents... Third Place "It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we...
Hilariously Best Dirty Short Joke Of The Day: Force Feeding
George has an operation on his neck, so he has to be force-fed through his ass. At mealtime, the nurse rolls in a big feeding machine, attaches one end of a tube to the machine, and shoves the other end far up George's ass. After a few days of the force-feeding, George says, "Hey, nurse, have you got another one of those...
Hilarious Dirty Joke Of The Day: Country Doctors
A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older gentleman suggested the young one accompany him on his rounds so the community could become used to a new doctor. At the first house a woman complained, "I've been a little sick to my stomach." The older doctor said, "Well, you've probably been overdoing the...
Hilarious Bad Joke Of The Day: Charlie Vs Priest At Church
Joke Title: Trading Place Charlie was responsible for taking up the offerings at a local church. One Sunday, after the service, the priest counted the money and found there was less than anticipated, given the size of the congregation. He took Charlie aside and questioned him. Charlie said that he did not take any of the offerings. The priest questioned him again and again...
Hilarious Dirty Husband Wife Joke: New Lie Detector Robot
John was a salesman's delight when it came to any kind of unusual gimmick. His wife Marsha has long ago given up trying to get him to change. One day, John came home about noon and told Marsha that he had gone to a nearby city and purchased a Robot. It was no ordinary robot, but it was in fact a Lie...
Hilarious Non Veg Blonde Dirty Joke Of The Day: Exotic Pet Frog Rehearsal
A blonde, June, goes to her local pet store in search of an 'exotic' pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box FULL of frogs. The sign says: 'SEX FROGS' Only $20 each! Comes with 'complete' instructions. The girl, June, excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her. She whispers softly to the man behind the counter, "I'll TAKE...
Hilarious Dirty Best Lawyer Joke Of The Day: Getting A Date
There was a loser who couldn't get a date. He went to a bar and asked this one guy how to get a date. The guy said, "It's simple. I just say I'm a lawyer." So the guy went up to a pretty woman and asked her out. After she said "No," he told her that it was probably a good thing because...
Hilariously Dirty Bad Joke Of The Day: Shitty Cheating
Coming into the bar and ordering a double, the man leaned over and confided to the bartender, "I'm so pissed off!" "Oh yeah? What happened?" asked the bartender politely. "See, I met this beautiful woman who invited me back to her home. We stripped off our clothes and jumped into bed and we were just about to make love when her damned husband...
Best Dirty Joke Of The Day: Little Johnny & Valentine's Day
Valentine's Day was quickly approaching and Little Johnny was anxious to receive and give Valentine cards during his classroom party,.. Mainly because there were two girls he was particularly very fond of. The rest of his class received the usual "store bought" cheap Valentines that read cutesy "Be Mines",.. But he took special care and time in hand-making two special cards for...
Hilarious Husband Wife: Mix Short Humorous Jokes On Marriage
Man walks into the bedroom with a sheep under his arm while his wife is lying in bed reading. Man says: "This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache." Wife replies: "I think you'll find that is a sheep." Man replies: "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep." A man walks into his bedroom and...
Hilarious Dirty Non Veg Joke Of The Day: Best Mediclaim Couple
A couple went to a sex therapists office at ABC Hospital. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?" The man said, "Will you watch us having sex, for your expert analysis?" The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse," and charged them $50/-. This happened several weeks in a...
Hilarious Naughty Grandparents Joke: Grandpa With No Pants
A man came to visit his grandparents, and he noticed,.. His grandfather sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, wearing only a shirt, with nothing on from the waist down. "Grandpa, what are you doing? Your weenie is out in the wind for everyone to see!" he exclaimed. The old man looked off in the distance without answering. "Grandpa, what are you...