Friday, November 16, 2018
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Tag: Police Jokes

A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial. "Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?" he asked. "No sir," the policeman responded, "but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away." "Officer, who provided this description?" "The officer who responded to the scene." "A fellow officer provided the description of this...
A dumb blonde named Barbara walks into the police department looking for a job. The captain says they can't just turn her away, and orders a desk officer to ask her a few questions as if doing an interview. Not having any idea what to ask her to disqualify her application, the officer asks, "What's 2+2?" "Ummm… 4!" Barbara says. Dang, the officer thinks,...
A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in court." said the Desk Sergeant. "No, no no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies -- two...
A mature (over 40) lady gets pulled over for speeding... Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer : Ma'am, you were speeding. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Officer : Can I see your license please? Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one. Officer : Don't have one? Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving. Officer : I see...Can...
DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas, and talks with an old rancher.. He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illgally grown drgs." The rancher says, "Okay , but do not go in that field over there," as he points out the location. The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, "Mister, I have the authority of the Federal...
An elderly couple was just settled down for bed when the old man realized he left the lights on in the greenhouse in the back yard. Then they heard voices. Three men had broken into the greenhouse. Scared, they called the police. The dispatcher replied, he would send an officer as soon as one became available as they were all out on calls. The old...