Friday, February 15, 2019
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Best Dirty Non Veg Joke Of The Day: Honest Girl & Virgin Husband
A very 'straight and honest' girl is going to Town. Before she left, her mother gave her some advice: "Daughter, when you're in Town and if you're looking for a match there,... you must take note of the following the requirements mother set for you. You must find a man that is 'faithful', 'thrifty' and must be a 'virgin'." With this advice from her...
Hilarious Wise Rabbi In Small Town Joke: A Cow From Alberta
The only cow in a small town in USA stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found that they could buy a cow from BC Canada for 1,000 dollars, or one from Alberta Canada for 800 dollars. Being poor, they bought the cow from Alberta. The cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all the time, and the people were...
Hilarious Silly Old Man Vs Young Man Clean Joke: Time Please
Young Man: "Sir, may I know the time, please?" Old Man: "Certainly not." Young Man: "Sir, but why? What are you going to lose, if you tell me the time?" Old Man: "Yes, I may lose something if I tell you the time." Young Man: "But Sir, can you tell me how?" Old Man: "See, if I tell you the time you will definitely...
Little Johnny Vs Sunday School Teacher Joke: Making Bad Faces
Finding one of her student Little Johnny making faces at others on the playground,.. Ms. Smith stopped to gently scold the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, "Johnny, when I was a child, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." Johnny looked up and replied, * * * * * * * * * * "Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't...
Hilarious Madam Vs Maid Bad Naughty Joke: Good Pay Raise
The Maid asked for a pay raise. Madam was very upset about this and asked: "Now Maria, why do you want an increase?" Maria: "Well Madam, there are three reasons why I want an increase. The first is that I iron better than you." Madam: "Who said you iron better than me?" Maria: "The Master said so." Madam: "Oh." Maria: "The second reason is that I...
Young Boy Vs Farmer Neighbour Bad Joke: Is Your Dad Home?
A farmer got in his truck and drove to a neighbouring farm and knocked at the farmhouse door. A young boy, about nine, opened the door. "Is your Dad home"? the farmer asked. "Sorry mate, he isn't" the boy replied. "He went into town." "Well," said the farmer, "Is your mum here"? "No, sir, she's not here either. She went into town with Dad." "How...
Hilarious Best Joke Of The Day: Elderly Women & Speed Limit
A Police Officer was waiting along the side of a highway waiting to catch speeding drivers. There weren't as many violators this day as usual. The State Police Officer sees an old car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the...
Hilarious Husband Wife Short Dirty Joke: Bad Horse Riding
A minister gave a talk to the community center on sex. When he got home, he couldn't tell his wife that he had spoken on sex, so he said he had discussed "Horseback Riding" with the members. A few days later, she ran into some men at the shopping center,... and they complimented her on the speech her husband had made. She said:, * * * * * * * * * "Yes, I...
Hilarious Best Comedy Animal Joke: Bear, Rabbit & Magical Frog
One day, down in the mystical forest, a magical frog was hopping towards a water hole. The forest was so enormous that the frog had never laid eyes on another animal before. But today, by chance a bear was chasing after a rabbit to have for dinner. The frog called for the two to stop and said, "Because you are the only two...
Hilarious Best Dirty Mind Joke Of The Day: Two Nuns & A Man
There were Two Nuns. One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent. SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants. SL: It's logical....
Hilarious Bad Joke Of The Day: Little Johnny & Sunday School
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?" When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "God Almighty!" shouted Mary and the teacher...
Best Hilarious Adam, Eve & God Joke: Why Women Are Stupid?
After spending time with Eve, Adam was walking in the Garden with God. Adam told God how much the woman means to him and how blessed he feels to have her. Adam began to ask questions about her. Adam: Lord, Eve is beautiful. Why did you make her so beautiful? God: So you will always want to look at her. Adam: Lord, her skin...
Best Clean Husband Wife Joke Of All Time: Success Of Marriage
Once upon a time a married couple celebrated their 25th marriage anniversary. They had become famous in the city for not having a single conflict in their period of 25 years. Local newspaper editors had gathered at the occasion to find out the secret of their well known "happy going marriage". Editor: "Sir. It's amazingly unbelievable. How did you make this possible?" Husband...
Hilarious Dirty Best Lawyer Joke Of The Day: Getting A Date
There was a loser who couldn't get a date. He went to a bar and asked this one guy how to get a date. The guy said, "It's simple. I just say I'm a lawyer." So the guy went up to a pretty woman and asked her out. After she said "No," he told her that it was probably a good thing because...
Best Hilarious Housewife Joke Of The Day: Bad Day & Phone Call
The worried housewife sprang to the telephone when it rang and listened with relief to the kindly voice in her ear. "How are you, darling?" it said. "What kind of a day are you having?" "Oh, mother," said the housewife, breaking into bitter tears, "I've had such a bad day. The baby won't eat and the washing machine broke down. I haven't had...
Hilarious Naughty Women Joke Of The Day: Annual Outing
Jenny was explaining to her husband how much fun they'd had at the beach during her bridge club annual outing. "But," she told him, "it didn't end all that great for me." "Why, what happened?" he asked. "I went out to take a swim in the rough water but I didn't go out far because the waves were very bad. Then I suddenly...
Best Hilarious Pregnancy Humor Every Women Must Read: The Washcloth
This has to be read, laughed at and passed on. There is not a woman alive today who won't crack up over this! This is a real incident, and no its not me so ignore the I's and me's. I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor's...
Hilarious Best Lawyer Joke Of The Day: Coats Business
Jacob was in coats business, but unfortunately business was very bad. One day his partner James said to him, "What are we going to do with these fifty coats? They're last year's style and even though we've knocked them down to $100 each, we still can't sell any." Jacob replied, "Use your head, James. Price them at $200 and send 10 of...
Dirty Joke Of The Day: Two Women Were Playing Golf
Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began...
Hilarious Best Student Vs Professor Joke: Legal Or Logical?
After having failed his exam in "Logistics and Organization", a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it. Student: "Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?" Professor: "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!" Student: "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my...
Hilarious Social Charity Joke Of The Day: Generous Lawyer
A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community...
Hilarious Bad Joke Of The Day: Dad, Baby & Cup Of Tea
One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me. I was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident. Someone had given me a little "tea set" as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys. Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought...
Really Funny Clean Old Age Joke Of The Day: Shameless Visitor
The Grandmother of a just got married grandson phoned that he was coming to present his beautiful lovely wife to grandma. The delighted Grandma started giving instructions how to come to their high rise colony retirement Apartment. She started blabbering, "When you come to the front door of the apartment building inside vestibule, My son there is a push button, push it with...
Hilarious Salesman Joke Of The Day: Insect Repellent Bug Spray
A salesman was traveling through the country side, flogging insect repellent. He came to a farmhouse and tried his pitch on the farmer. "Sir, my bug spray is so good you will never be bitten again. I guarantee it." The farmer was dubious. "Young man, I'll make you a proposition. I'll tie you out in my cornfield buck naked, covered with that bug...
Best Hilarious Woman Joke Of The Day: Women Are Impossible To Please
Two girlfriends are chatting. "Have you heard about the new husband shopping centre in town?" one asks. "It's a four-floor building where women can go to choose a husband from hundreds of eligible men. The only rule is, once you go up a floor, you can't go down, except to leave the place never to return. Let's try it out." So, the pair head...
Hilarious New Joke Of The Day: Who is Doctor's Best Patient?
Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients on the operating table. The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded." The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside...
Hilarious Best Non Veg Joke Of The Day: Blind Man & Land Lady
A handsome blind person was allowed to stay as a paying guest by a lonely land lady. Being blind, he was considered as harmless creature free to move any where in the house. Once he comes back to house from out side. The moment he enters the house he starts shouting happily and searching the land lady in the house. He is asks...