Sunday, July 21, 2019
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Hilarious Clean Safe For Work Office Joke: New Company Trainee
A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee... On his first day, he dialled the kitchen and shouted into the phone: "Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!" The voice from the other side responded: "You fool; you've dialled the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?" "No" replied the trainee. "It's the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!" The...
Best Hilarious Clean Office Joke: Always Allow Boss To Speak First
A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says: Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each." So the eager senior manager shouted:, "I want...
Hilarious Best Husband Wife Joke For Today: Learn To Shut Up
Joke Title: Twenty Dollars On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed. This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years,.. with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and...
Hilarious Naughty Joke Of The Day: Dad, Secretary & Little Daughter
Joke Title: Doll A man comes home with his little daughter, whom he has just taken to work. The little girl asks, "I saw you in your office with your secretary. Why do you call her a doll?" Feeling his wife's gaze upon him, the man explains, "Well, honey, my secretary is a very hard-working girl. She types like you wouldn't believe, she knows the computer system and...
Hilarious American Political Humor Joke Of The Day: Why US Has Crisis?
An Israeli doctor says: "Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks." A German doctor says: "That is nothing; we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four...
Best & Hilarious Office Recruitment Joke: Human Resources Manager v/s St. Peter
Joke Title: HR Processes One day while walking down the street a highly successful Human Resources Manager was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself. "Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see,...
Hilarious Clean Animal Joke Of The Day: Very Intelligent Good Dog
A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window saying: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer." A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged...
Job Interview Clean Good Office Humor Joke: Are You Kidding?
Reaching the end of a job interview,... The Human Resources Person asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?" The Engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $225,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement...
Best Hilarious Joke Of The Day: Good Boss V/S Bad Little Kid
Joke Title: Kids Too Much A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, He dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper. "Hello?" "Is your daddy home?" he asked. "Yes," whispered the small voice. "May I talk with him?" The child whispered, "No." Surprised and...
Hilarious Best Business Joke Of The Day: How To Impress A Client
I was in the airport VIP lounge en route to Seattle a couple of weeks ago. While in there, I noticed Bill Gates sitting comfortably in the corner, enjoying a drink. I was meeting a very important client who was also flying to Seattle, but she was running a little bit late. Well, being a straightforward kind of guy, I approached the Microsoft chairman,...
Hilarious Office Joke: Man Accidentally Angers A Genie
One day a man was waking along the beach when he tripped over a lamp. He turned around and kicked the lamp out of anger. A few seconds later,... A genie popped out of the lamp, But the genie was angry that the man had kicked his lamp. Reluctantly, the genie said,... "Even though you kicked me, I still have to give you three wishes. However...
Hilarious Best IT Company Joke Of The Day: Cannibal & Developer
Five cannibals (Man eaters) get appointed as programmers in an IT company. During the welcoming ceremony the boss says: "You're all part of our team now. You can earn good money here, and you can go to the company canteen for something to eat. So don't trouble the other employees". The cannibals promise not to trouble the other employees. Four weeks later the...
Hilarious Good Family Joke Of The Day: High Telephone Bill
The phone bill was exceptionally high and the man of the house called a family meeting... Dad: People this is unacceptable. You have to limit the use of the phone. I do not use this phone, I use the one at the office. Mom: Same here, I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone. Son: Me too, I never use...
Hilarious Clean Marriage Humor Joke: Why Men Wear Ear Rings?
I have often wondered how this trend got started, I now have the answer. A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense." The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you...
Hilarious Clean Best Work Joke: Irishman, Russian & Japanese
Joke Title: "SUPPLIES" There friends an Irishman, a Russian and a Japanese man, all set out on a journey looking for work. They go by a quiet little dusty town and see a sign advertising work in the local coal mine. The pay is great, so they go off and look for the boss. They find him and he tells them: "Well, you know, I...
Hilarious Government Office Clean Joke Of The Day: The Genie
A government employee found an old brass lamp in a filing cabinet. When he dusted it off, a genie appeared and granted him three wishes. "I'd love an ice-cold beer right now," he told the genie. Poof! A beer appeared. Next, the man said, "I wish to be on an island, surrounded by beautiful and willing women." Poof! He was on an island with...
Hilarious Crazy Office Joke Of The Day: Worker Needs Light To Work
I urgently needed a few days off work,.. but I knew the Boss would Not Allow me to take leave.. I thought that maybe if I acted 'CRAZY' Then He would tell me to take a few days off. So, I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker (Sipho) asked me what I was doing. I told him that...
Indian Hilarious Software Engineer Joke: Online Chat At Office
A Guy was chatting with a female (never met her directly). (Background, both are s/w engineers by the way and both work for real big MNC's ) Hero: Hey...GM ()... How's u doing today? Female: VGM... Day is going good and it got better having found u on chat. Hero: wow... am honored, u know what, my day starts only when I find...
Hilarious Indian Management Joke: Banta Singh, Lord Dharamraja & Priest
A Priest dies & is awaiting his turn in line at the Heaven's Gates. Ahead of him is a guy, nattily dressed, in dark sun glasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket & jeans. Lord Dharmaraja (an Indian God) asks him: "Please tell me who are you, so that I may know whether to admit you into the kingdom of Heaven or...
Clean Hilarious Joke: God's Professional Help To A Good Woman
A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her daughter was very sick with a fever. She left her work and stopped by the pharmacy to get some medication. She got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys in the car. She didn't know what to do, so she called home and told...
Hilarious Interview Joke: Cajun Man And His Smart Math Answers
A Cajun man wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test. "Here's your first question, the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9." "Without numbers?" the Cajun says, "That is easy." and proceeds to draw three trees. "What's this?" the boss asks. "Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine," says...
Clean Hilarious Joke: Two Friends Working In The Same Office
Two friends working in the same office. One wanted some time off, but knew the boss wouldn't allow him to take leave. He decided to act crazy so the boss would tell him to take a few days off. He hung upside down from the ceiling so the other guy asked him "What are you doing?" "Ah, me pretending to be a light...
Stupid Boss Joke: Dumb CEO Overreacted And Fired A Worker
In a factory: A man standing on the floor and looking aimlessly. CEO of that factory came and asked his salary. Man replied "$2000 sir." CEO took out his wallet and gave $6000 and told him "I pay people here to work and not to waste time, This is your 3 months salary. Now get out of here. Never come back" That guy left without...
Hilarious Joke: A Smart Husband Sent A Text To His Wife At Night
A husband sent a text to his wife at night, "Hi I will get late, please try and wash all my dirty clothes and make sure you prepare my favorite dish before I return." but there was no reply he received from wife... He sent another text, "And I forgot to tell you that I got an increase in my salary, at the...
Office Jokes: 6 Management Lessons That Everyone Should Know
Lesson 1/6: A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.' After thinking for a moment,...
Dumb Boss Joke: When New CEO Of Company Fired An Employee
If you've ever worked for a boss who reacts before getting the facts and thinking things through, you will enjoy this. A company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall and...