Wednesday, June 26, 2019
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Tag: Short Funny Jokes In English

Short, Hilarious And Good: The Best Funniest One liner Jokes
Judge: Why did you hit your husband with a chair?" Wife: "I couldn't lift the table." "What did one ghost say to another?" "Do you believe in people?" My friend has a fine watch dog. At any suspicious noise he wakes the dog and the dog begins to bark. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak. "Room Service? Can...
Hilarious Short Naughty Joke: 80 Year Old Man In Confession
An elderly man goes into confession and says to the priest, "Father, I'm 80 years old, married, have four kids and 11 grandchildren. I started taking this new Viagra pill, and last night I had an affair and made love to two 18-year-old girls. and,... Both of them with. Twice." The priest said: "Well, my son, when was the last time you were...
Best Light Weight New Funny Jokes In English: Latest Good Humor
Rocket to Moon On the first night of honeymoon the wife crazy husband says, "My sweet darling, I am going to take you to moon tonight." The impatient wife says, "Sure, but first at least let's see the rocket to get there." Period of Patience Dad went to school for getting the report card for his son in the middle of the class and had...
Hilarious Husband Wife Short Dirty Joke: Bad Horse Riding
A minister gave a talk to the community center on sex. When he got home, he couldn't tell his wife that he had spoken on sex, So he said he had discussed "Horseback Riding" with the members. A few days later, she ran into some men at the shopping center,... and they complimented her on the speech her husband had made. She said:, * * * * * * * * * "Yes, I...
Great Marriage Humor: Quotes, Sayings & Mix Short Jokes
My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't. Marriage is a three ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. For Sale: Wedding dress, size 8. Worn once by mistake. There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman: Before marriage and after marriage. Why were hurricanes usually named after women? Because when...
Have A Good Laugh With These Best Short Clean Hilarious Jokes
LIFE AFTER DEATH: "Do you believe in life after death?" The boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, sir," the new employee replied. "Well, then, that makes everything just fine," The boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you!" SUPPORT A FAMILY: The prospective father-in-law asked, "Young man, can you support a family?" The surprised groom-to-be replied, "Well,...
Short Dirty Joke Of The Day: Doctor My Husband Is 300% Impotent
A woman goes to her doctor, complaining that her husband is 300% impotent. The doctor says, "I'm not sure I understand what you mean." She says, "Well, the first 100% you can imagine. * * * * * * * * * * In addition, he burned his tongue and broke his finger!"
Few Clean & Short Good Humor Jokes: Best English Comedy
Wonderful coffee Customer to waiter: Everyday you charge me money for a cup of coffee. It will be wonderful if you serve me coffee free of cost today. Waiter: Sir, everyday you drink coffee from a filled cup. It will be wonderful if you drink it from an empty cup today. Doctor's promise "Doctor, are you sure I'm suffering from pneumonia? I've heard once about a...
Short & Hilarious: Best Doctor Jokes Collection To Laugh Today
A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor queries. "No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!" Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news. Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first. Doctor: The lab called with your...
Hilarious Short Clean Joke Of The Day: Blonde Walking Her Dogs
A blonde was walking her dogs when a man walking in the opposite direction says "oh my, you have such beautiful dogs.. what are their names?" The blonde replies "Well, the taller one is Timex and the shorter one is Rolex." The man responds "Huh.. that's interesting.. why did you name them such names?" The blonde sighs and shakes her head. "Everyone keeps asking me the...
Hilarious Lame Short Joke Of The Day: How To Make 50 People Fool
A newsboy was standing on the corner with a stack of papers, yelling, "Read all about it. Fifty people fooled! Fifty people fooled!" Curious, a man walked over, bought a paper, and checked the front page. Finding nothing, the man said, "There's nothing in here about fifty people being fooled." The newsboy ignored him and went on, calling out, * * * * * * * * * "Read all about it. Fifty-one people...
Hilarious Clean Humor Short Joke: Gracious Neighbour & His Dog
Bernard, who is noted for his gracious manners,.. Was awakened one morning at 4.44 A.M. by his ringing telephone... "Your dog's barking, and it's keeping me awake," said an angry voice. Bernard thanked the caller and politely asked his name and number before hanging up. The next morning at precisely 4.44 A.M., Bernard called his neighbor back... * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * "Good morning, Mr. Williams... Just called to...
Hilariously Clean Short Marriage Humor Joke: Nail Biting Habit
Two women friends are chatting about their family and husbands. Women 1 : I am very frustrated and worried about my husbands nail biting habit. I tried lot of things that he should stop biting nails. Women 2 : Oh that's simple, even my husband have that habit of nail biting. I only did one work and that's it. No more nail biting. Women...
Clean & Short Family Jokes Collection: Quick Laugh For 5 Minutes
Teacher: History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about what had happened in the past. Student: Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history. Teacher: Why? Student: There is no future in it. Teacher: Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have? Ted: $10. Teacher: You don't know maths. Ted: You...
Hilarious Mom v/s Son Clean Short Joke: Moral Lesson For Kids
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait'". Kevin turned to his younger brother & said, * * * * * * * * * * "Ryan, you be Jesus!"
Male Vs Female English Humor Joke: Which Gender is Intelligent?
A Proof of which Gender is Intelligent An English professor wrote the words: "A woman without her man is nothing" on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly... All of the males in the class wrote : "A woman, without her man, is nothing." * * * * * * * All the females in the class wrote : "A woman: without her, man is nothing." Punctuation is powerful!!
Best & Good Short English Humor Jokes: Hilarious One Liners
• Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. • I asked my new girlfriend what sort of books she's interested in, she said: Check books. • The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the prices of new car. • Sometimes when I...
Hilarious Corny Husband Wife Joke Of The Day: Weight Watchers
Mrs. Speidell, who was a little on the chubby side, Was at her weight-watchers meeting. "My husband insists I come to these meetings because he would rather screw a woman with a trim figure." she lamented to the woman next to her. "Well," the lady replied, "What's wrong with that?" * * * * * * * * "He likes to do it while I'm stuck at these damn meetings."
Hilarious Good Family Joke Of The Day: High Telephone Bill
The phone bill was exceptionally high and the man of the house called a family meeting... Dad: People this is unacceptable. You have to limit the use of the phone. I do not use this phone, I use the one at the office. Mom: Same here, I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone. Son: Me too, I never use...
Best & Hilarious: Clean Light Short English Jokes Collection
Lady : Is this my train? Station Master : No, it belongs to the Government. Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to Manchester. Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy. A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery. The judge pounded the...
Hilarious Short Marriage Humor Joke Of The Day: Same Service
A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, "When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it's all different. I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking." "Why complain ?" said the counselor, * * * * * * * * "You re still...
Hilarious Short Husband Wife Joke: Wrong Number In The Night
A man and his wife are sound asleep in bed when the phone rings. The man picks up, listens for a second and says, "How the hell would I know, you idiot? I'm not a weatherman," before slamming down the receiver. "Who was that?" asks his wife. "Wrong number. * * * * * * * * * * * * It was some jerk asking if the coast was clear."
Hilarious Politician Joke Of The Day: Cannibal Restaurant Menu
A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu... Tourist: $5 Broiled Missionary: $10.00 Fried Explorer: $15.00 Baked Democrat or Grilled Republican: $100.00 The cannibal called the waiter over and asked, "Why such a price difference for the Politician?" * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * The cook replied, "Have you ever tried to clean...
Hilarious Airplane Humor Short Joke: Airport Restaurant Menu
Joke Title: "Jumbo Jet" A man looked at the menu at the airport restaurant, and saw that the sandwiches were named for planes. "I'll have a Jumbo Jet," he said. When the order arrived, He was disappointed to see how small his cheese burger was, but he ate it anyway. He called his waiter over and asked, "Was that the Jumbo Jet?" "Yeah," the waiter answered. * * * * * * * * * * "Went pretty...
Cute Joke For Kids: Little Johnny Asked Mother For Dad's Baldness
Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning and got to thinking about things. "Mommy, mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs on his head?".. he asked his mother. "He thinks a lot,".. replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming up with a good answer to her husband's baldness. Or she was until Little Johnny thought for a second and asked, * * * * * * "So why do you...
Hilarious Husband Wife Marriage Humor: Telephonic Conversation
A man answers the phone and has the following conversation: "Yes, mother, I've had a hard day. Dianne has been quite difficult... Yes, I know I ought to be more firm, but it is hard. Well, you know how she is. Yes, I remember you warned me. I remember you told me that she was a vile creature who would make my life miserable...
Best Hilarious Catholic Joke Of The Day: Why Didn't Ya Tell Me?
Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked,.. "Father, my dog is dead. Could ya' be saying' a Mass for the poor creature?" Father Patrick replied, "I'm afraid not. We can not have services for an animal in the church. But there are...