Sunday, July 21, 2019
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Short, Hilarious And Good: The Best Funniest One liner Jokes
Judge: Why did you hit your husband with a chair?" Wife: "I couldn't lift the table." "What did one ghost say to another?" "Do you believe in people?" My friend has a fine watch dog. At any suspicious noise he wakes the dog and the dog begins to bark. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak. "Room Service? Can...
Hilarious Short Naughty Joke: 80 Year Old Man In Confession
An elderly man goes into confession and says to the priest, "Father, I'm 80 years old, married, have four kids and 11 grandchildren. I started taking this new Viagra pill, and last night I had an affair and made love to two 18-year-old girls. and,... Both of them with. Twice." The priest said: "Well, my son, when was the last time you were...
Hilariously Cute Pregnancy Joke Of The Day: Height of Innocence
A three-year-old walked up to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office. He inquisitively asked the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?" She replied, "I'm having a baby." With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?" She answered, "He sure is." Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?" She said, "Oh,...
Best Light Weight New Funny Jokes In English: Latest Good Humor
Rocket to Moon On the first night of honeymoon the wife crazy husband says, "My sweet darling, I am going to take you to moon tonight." The impatient wife says, "Sure, but first at least let's see the rocket to get there." Period of Patience Dad went to school for getting the report card for his son in the middle of the class and had...
Hilarious Short Non Veg Dirty Joke: Naughty Dentist VS Nervous Woman
A nervous young lady sat on a dentist's chair to get her tooth extracted,.. Seeing too many instruments she got frightened. "Doctor, I would much rather have a baby than my tooth pulled out." The dentist retorted : * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * "Well make up your mind, ... so that I can adjust the chair accordingly".
Little Johnny Vs Sunday School Teacher Joke: Making Bad Faces
Finding one of her student Little Johnny making faces at others on the playground,.. Ms. Smith stopped to gently scold the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, "Johnny, when I was a child, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." Johnny looked up and replied, * * * * * * * * * * "Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't...
Hilarious Husband Wife: Mix Short Humorous Jokes On Marriage
Man walks into the bedroom with a sheep under his arm while his wife is lying in bed reading. Man says: "This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache." Wife replies: "I think you'll find that is a sheep." Man replies: "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep." A man walks into his bedroom and...
Great Marriage Humor: Quotes, Sayings & Mix Short Jokes
My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't. Marriage is a three ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. For Sale: Wedding dress, size 8. Worn once by mistake. There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman: Before marriage and after marriage. Why were hurricanes usually named after women? Because when...
Short Dirty Joke Of The Day: Doctor My Husband Is 300% Impotent
A woman goes to her doctor, complaining that her husband is 300% impotent. The doctor says, "I'm not sure I understand what you mean." She says, "Well, the first 100% you can imagine. * * * * * * * * * * In addition, he burned his tongue and broke his finger!"
Few Clean & Short Good Humor Jokes: Best English Comedy
Wonderful coffee Customer to waiter: Everyday you charge me money for a cup of coffee. It will be wonderful if you serve me coffee free of cost today. Waiter: Sir, everyday you drink coffee from a filled cup. It will be wonderful if you drink it from an empty cup today. Doctor's promise "Doctor, are you sure I'm suffering from pneumonia? I've heard once about a...
Enjoy These Best & Hilarious Bad Short Dirty Jokes: Dark Humor
There are 3 Male and 1 Female pencils in a box. The Female pencil got pregnant!! Which Male pencil is responsible? * * * * * * ANSWER: THE ONE WITHOUT THE RUBBER. Woman in bed with husband's best friend, phone rings! "YES".. "OK, BYE". She turns to her lover and says, * * * * * * * "THAT'S MY HUBBY, SAYS HE'S NOW GOLFING WITH YOU." Three Roosters: normal, retarded and a gay. Normal : cock-a-doodle-dooo !!! Retarded : doodle-cock-a-dooo...
Short Dirty Doctor Joke Of The Day: Won't You Kiss Me, Doctor?
"Won't you kiss me, doctor," asks a beautiful woman. "No, it would be against my code of ethics," says the doctor. "Please just one kiss," begs the woman. "It's completely out of the question," he goes on. * * * * * * * * * * * * "I shouldn't even really be having sex with you."
Best Comedy Clean Innocent Joke: Two Good Children In A Clinic
Joke Title: Two Tests Two children were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying very loudly. 2nd Child: Why are you crying? 1st Child: I came here for blood test. 2nd Child: So? Are you afraid? 1st Child: No. Not that. For the blood test, they cut my finger. At this, the second one started crying. The first one was astonished. 1st Child: Why are you...
Short & Hilarious: Best Doctor Jokes Collection To Laugh Today
A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor queries. "No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!" Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news. Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first. Doctor: The lab called with your...
Hilarious Short Clean Joke Of The Day: Blonde Walking Her Dogs
A blonde was walking her dogs when a man walking in the opposite direction says "oh my, you have such beautiful dogs.. what are their names?" The blonde replies "Well, the taller one is Timex and the shorter one is Rolex." The man responds "Huh.. that's interesting.. why did you name them such names?" The blonde sighs and shakes her head. "Everyone keeps asking me the...
Husband Wife Short Joke Of The Day: How To Enjoy Sunday?
Husband Darling, my sweet heart I will be enjoying this Sunday. Wife: How? Husband: I bought three tickets for the movie. Wife: thats great, but we are two, why you bought three tickets ??? * * * * * * * Husband: Darling one for you, one for your mother and one for your brother. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hilarious Clean Blonde Joke Of The Day: Dumb & Stupid Together
Three blondes are in an elevator when the elevator suddenly stops and the lights go out. They try using their cell phones to get help, but have no luck. Even the phones are out. After a few hours of being stuck with no help in sight, one blonde says to the others "I think the best way to call for help is...
Hilarious Lame Short Joke Of The Day: How To Make 50 People Fool
A newsboy was standing on the corner with a stack of papers, yelling, "Read all about it. Fifty people fooled! Fifty people fooled!" Curious, a man walked over, bought a paper, and checked the front page. Finding nothing, the man said, "There's nothing in here about fifty people being fooled." The newsboy ignored him and went on, calling out, * * * * * * * * * "Read all about it. Fifty-one people...
Top 10 Hilariously Best English Jokes Collection: Good Comedy
A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in court," said the desk sergeant. "No, no,no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!" The man approached a...
Comedy Husband Wife Short Joke: Good Compliment
A man, standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror and says to his wife, "I feel horrible, I look fat, ugly and out of shape. Pay me a compliment." * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * The wife replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."
Little Johnny v/s Maths Teacher Joke: New Generation Student
Math Teacher: Johnny, Tell me, If you have 12 chocolates and,... You give 5 to Sophia, 3 to Emma and, 4 to Isabella, Then what will you get? Little Johnny says: * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * "3 New Girlfriends Mam...!!!"
Women Humor: The Last Laugh Is Reserved For The Ladies
Here are some words of advice and comfort for all you ladies out there. Get ready to do what you do best: laugh your heart out! Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door. If they put a man on the moon - they should be...
Hilarious Clean Humor Short Joke: Gracious Neighbour & His Dog
Bernard, who is noted for his gracious manners,.. Was awakened one morning at 4.44 A.M. by his ringing telephone... "Your dog's barking, and it's keeping me awake," said an angry voice. Bernard thanked the caller and politely asked his name and number before hanging up. The next morning at precisely 4.44 A.M., Bernard called his neighbor back... * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * "Good morning, Mr. Williams... Just called to...
Hilariously Clean Marriage Humor Short Joke: Smart Widow
A widow recently married a widower. Soon after the marriage she was accosted by a friend who laughingly remarked: "I suppose, like all men who have been married before, Your husband sometimes talks about his first wife?" "Oh, not any more, he doesn't," the other replied. "What stopped him?" She answered: * * * * * * * * "I started talking about my next husband."
Small Joke For Kids: New Teacher, Little Johnny And Psychology Course
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds,... Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said,... "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" Little Johnny said:,... * * * * * * * * * * "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
Clean & Short Family Jokes Collection: Quick Laugh For 5 Minutes
Teacher: History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about what had happened in the past. Student: Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history. Teacher: Why? Student: There is no future in it. Teacher: Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have? Ted: $10. Teacher: You don't know maths. Ted: You...
Hilarious Mom v/s Son Clean Short Joke: Moral Lesson For Kids
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait'". Kevin turned to his younger brother & said, * * * * * * * * * * "Ryan, you be Jesus!"