Friday, November 16, 2018
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Tag: Sick Jokes

Funny Animal Joke: Woman Gets Terrible News From Her Pet Duck's Vet
A woman brought a very limp duck to a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, Ma'am, but your duck, Cuddles, has passed away." The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am...
Hilarious Dumb Joke: Two Hunters Are In The Woods When One
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "I'm in the middle of nowhere and I think my friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First,...
Stupid Joke: Blonde Walks Into A Doctors Office
Blonde walks into a doctors office and says: "Doctor, what's the problem with me? When I touch my arm, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my leg, ouch! it hurts... When I touch my head, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my chest, ouch! it really hurts!" . . . . . . . . . . . The Doctor replies: "Your finger is broken."
The banker saw his old friend Tom, an 80-year old rancher, in town. Tom had lost his wife a year or so before and rumor had it that he was marrying a 'mail order' bride. Being a good friend, the banker asked Tom if the rumor was true. Tom assured him that it was. The banker then asked Tom the age of...
A husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded, and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated...
Thomas is 32 years old and he is still single. One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?" Thomas replied, "Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them." His friend thinks for a moment...
John dies and passes on to the afterlife he comes to, looks around and finds himself in what looks like the dirtiest alley of the world's worst urban center. As he's trying to come to terms with what's happening he hears a voice say, "Hey there old friend, fancy meeting you here." John looks up and sees his old friend...
A guy is sitting in a bar; absolutely drooling at a pretty young thing in her short, pink mini-dress. Using the time-honoured icebreaker, he sends her a drink. "How lucky am I," he thinks, as she gets up to come sit next to him. They strike up a wonderful conversation. Finally, the girl turns to him and says, "Look, you seem like a really...