Friday, February 15, 2019
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Tag: Silly Jokes

Hilarious Silly Old Man Vs Young Man Clean Joke: Time Please
Young Man: "Sir, may I know the time, please?" Old Man: "Certainly not." Young Man: "Sir, but why? What are you going to lose, if you tell me the time?" Old Man: "Yes, I may lose something if I tell you the time." Young Man: "But Sir, can you tell me how?" Old Man: "See, if I tell you the time you will definitely...
Hilarious Clean Animal Joke Of The Day: Talking Parrot For Sale
A man went to an auction and bid on a parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher. Finally, he won the bid. As he was paying, he said to the Auctioneer, "I surely hope such a costly parrot can talk. "Don't worry", said the Auctioneer, * * * * * * * * * * "He can talk. Who do you think...
Hilarious Best Joke Of The Day: Elderly Women & Speed Limit
A Police Officer was waiting along the side of a highway waiting to catch speeding drivers. There weren't as many violators this day as usual. The State Police Officer sees an old car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the...
Best Hilarious Clean Office Joke: Always Allow Boss To Speak First
A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says: Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each." So the eager senior manager shouted:, "I want...
Hilarious Innocent Birthday Gift Joke: Confessions Of Little Johnny
Little Johnny came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted. "Mom, I want a bike for my birthday." Little Johnny was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Johnny's mother asked him if he...
Hilarious Stupid Joke Of The Day: Blonde & Horseback Riding
A blonde named Anna had a near death experience. The other day when she went horseback riding. Everything was going fine until the horse started bouncing out of control. She tried with all her might to hang on, but was thrown off. Just when things could not possibly get worse, her foot got caught in the stirrup. When this happened, she fell head first...
Hilarious Short Clean Joke Of The Day: Blonde Walking Her Dogs
A blonde was walking her dogs when a man walking in the opposite direction says "oh my, you have such beautiful dogs.. what are their names?" The blonde replies "Well, the taller one is Timex and the shorter one is Rolex." The man responds "Huh.. that's interesting.. why did you name them such names?" The blonde sighs and shakes her head. "Everyone keeps asking me the...
Hilarious Clean Blonde Joke Of The Day: Dumb & Stupid Together
Three blondes are in an elevator when the elevator suddenly stops and the lights go out. They try using their cell phones to get help, but have no luck. Even the phones are out. After a few hours of being stuck with no help in sight, one blonde says to the others "I think the best way to call for help is...
Best Hilarious Pregnancy Humor Every Women Must Read: The Washcloth
This has to be read, laughed at and passed on. There is not a woman alive today who won't crack up over this! This is a real incident, and no its not me so ignore the I's and me's. I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor's...
Hilarious Husband Wife Joke Of The Day: Men Will Be Men
The room was full of pregnant women and their partners. The Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan. "Ladies, exercise is good for you," announced the teacher. "Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to...
Hilarious Comedy Joke Of The Day: Umbrella Thief
An elderly man gave all of his seven umbrellas for repair at one time,... and told the shopkeeper he would pick it up in the evening while back from work. On the way to work in Bus, out of habit he grabbed the umbrella of the woman sitting next to him,... got up and started walking. The woman started yelled, "Umbrella thief, Umbrella...
Hilarious Bar Joke Of The Day: A Smart Guy VS Old Drunkard
Joke Title: How Old Am I? A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I want you to give me 12-year scotch, and don't try to fool me because I can tell the difference." The bartender is skeptical and decides to try to trick the man with 5-year scotch. The man takes a sip, scowls and says, "Bartender, this crap is...
Really Funny Clean Old Age Joke Of The Day: Shameless Visitor
The Grandmother of a just got married grandson phoned that he was coming to present his beautiful lovely wife to grandma. The delighted Grandma started giving instructions how to come to their high rise colony retirement Apartment. She started blabbering, "When you come to the front door of the apartment building inside vestibule, My son there is a push button, push it with...
Hilarious Irish Humour Joke Of The Day: Drunkard Mick & Paddy
Two Irishman, Mick and Paddy were walking home from the pub. Mick says to Paddy, "I can't be bothered to walk all that way." "I know," says Paddy, "but we've no money for a cab and we've missed the last bus home." "We could steal a bus from the depot," Mick suggests. They arrive at the bus depot and Mick tells Paddy to go in...
Hilarious Dumb Joke: Stupid Patient Stung By A Bee Joke
Patient: Please doctor help me. I have been stung by a bee. Doctor: Don't worry. I'll put some cream on it. Patient: You'll never find the bee. It must be miles away by now. Doctor: No No please understand. I'll put some cream on the place u were stung. Patient: Oh! it happened in the garden where I was sitting under a tree. Doctor:...
Hilarious Joke: Worst Salesman Of The Year & His Customer Service
Young Johnny was appointed sales person at a local General Dealer's store in Kampala. While on one of his shifts, a lady approached him and asked if they had peach jam to which he bluntly replied, "Out of stock." At this, the lady immediately turned to leave the shop in disgruntlement. It was then that the shopkeeper, who had been looking on, called...
Hilarious Family Joke: Woman Tried To Impress Guests At Dinner
A family was having some neighbors over for a dinner party. Everything was going swimmingly. Annabelle and her family were charming and fun, the guests were entertained, the appetizers were delicious. Even the house was spotless. Finally, the time came for everyone to gather at the dinner table for the promised meal. At the table, Annabelle turned to Lizzie, her six-year-old daughter, and in...
Hilarious Clean Joke: Cowboy Gets To Heaven For Best Deed
A Texas cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the pearly gates. "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked. "Well, I can think of one thing," the cowboy offered. "On a trip to the Black Hills in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but...
Hilarious Clean Joke: A Husband And Blonde Wife At Breakfast
On a bitterly cold winter morning a husband and his blonde wife in Newcastle were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowploughs can get through." So the good blonde wife went...
Hilariously Dumb Joke: A Blonde Wanting To Earn Money
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?: The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The...
Dumb Joke: A Blonde Was On Vacation In The Depths Of Louisiana
A blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes, but didn't want to pay the high prices. After unsuccessfully haggling with of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde said, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator, so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price." Later in the...
Hilarious Joke: A Journalist Interviewing A Mom-Of-8
A woman had 8 children, all of them boys. So, one day a magazine sent a journalist to her house for an interview. He asked her about the boys and what their names were. She said 'Kevin'. 'Right', he said, 'what about that blonde one over there?' 'Kevin', she said. 'Oh, and the tall one with the freckles?' 'Kevin', she said. 'Well, and the little chubby one...
Hilarious Dumb Joke: Two Hunters Are In The Woods When One
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "I'm in the middle of nowhere and I think my friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First,...
Stupid Joke: Blonde Walks Into A Doctors Office
Blonde walks into a doctors office and says: "Doctor, what's the problem with me? When I touch my arm, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my leg, ouch! it hurts... When I touch my head, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my chest, ouch! it really hurts!" . . . . . . . . . . . The Doctor replies: "Your finger is broken."
A man walks into a watering hole with a large box and takes a seat at the bar. The bartender, curious, asks, "What's in the box?" The man says, "I'll show you if you get me a free beer." So the bartender gets the man a beer. The man drinks it, then pulls out a minuscule little man and a matching piano. The little...
A dumb blonde named Barbara walks into the police department looking for a job. The captain says they can't just turn her away, and orders a desk officer to ask her a few questions as if doing an interview. Not having any idea what to ask her to disqualify her application, the officer asks, "What's 2+2?" "Ummm… 4!" Barbara says. Dang, the officer thinks,...
Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "No, listen carefully… If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples...