Monday, April 22, 2019
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Tag: Silly Jokes

Hilarious Clean Simple Joke Of The Day: Blonde vs Car Sale
Judi tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it because the car had 250,000 miles on the odometer. One day, she told her problem to a friend she worked with at a salon. Her friend told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal." "That doesn't matter," replied Judi, "I...
Hilarious Best Dark Comedy Joke Of The Day: This Is The Maid
Joke Title: This Is The Maid A guy dials his home and a strange woman answers. The guy says, "Who is this?" "This is the maid," answers the woman. "We don't have a maid," says the man. The woman says, "I was hired this morning by the woman of the house." The man says, "Well, this is her husband. Is she there?" The woman replies,... "She is upstairs in...
Hilarious Lame Short Joke Of The Day: How To Make 50 People Fool
A newsboy was standing on the corner with a stack of papers, yelling, "Read all about it. Fifty people fooled! Fifty people fooled!" Curious, a man walked over, bought a paper, and checked the front page. Finding nothing, the man said, "There's nothing in here about fifty people being fooled." The newsboy ignored him and went on, calling out, * * * * * * * * * "Read all about it. Fifty-one people...
Hilariously Dumb & Stupid Joke Of The Day: 3 Detectives
A policeman was testing three Dumb brothers who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first guy a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" The first guy answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The policeman says, "Well... uh......
Hilarious Comedy Joke Of The Day: Polish Divorce V/S Lawyer
A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect,... They got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances,... And asked him the following questions: L: Have...
Hilarious Best Lame Joke Of The Day: Five Friends & Crime Story
Joke Title: JUST A JOKE This is crime story. Five Best friends lived in a room, Namely MAD, BRAIN, FOOL, NOBODY, SOMEBODY. One day SOMEBODY killed NOBODY. At that time BRAIN was in bathroom, MAD called police. MAD: Is it police station??? Police: Yes, what is the matter?? MAD: SOMEBODY killed NOBODY. Police: Are you mad? MAD: Yes, I'm MAD. Police: Don't you have BRAIN. MAD: BRAIN is in bathroom... Police: you...
Stupid People Joke: Some Annoying Early Morning Joggers
After driving for about six hours,... a trucker decides to pull over and sleep for a little while. As soon as he falls asleep,... He is awoken by some knocks on the door of the cab. "Can you tell me the time, please?" asks a jogger. "Yeah, it's 4:30," answers the trucker. He falls asleep again,... But he is awoken again by another jogger who wants...
Hilarious Stupid Wife Joke: I Want A Divorce... Judge: Really?
A judge was interviewing a South Carolina woman regarding her pending divorce and asks, "What are the grounds for your divorce?" "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by." "No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?" "It is made of concrete, brick, and mortar," she responded. "I mean," he continued, "what...
Hilarious Joke: Three Old Brothers Age 92, 94 & 96 Live In A House Together
Three elderly brothers age 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath, puts his foot in and pauses. He yells down the stairs,... "Was I getting in or out of the bath?" The 94 year old yells back,... "I don't know, I'll come up and see." He starts up the stairs and pauses, then he...
Funny Joke: A Rabbi & A Priest Decide To Buy A Car Together
A priest and a rabbi operated a church and a synagogue across the street from each other. Since their schedules intertwined, they decided to go in together to buy a car. After the purchase, they drove it home and parked it on the street between them. A few minutes later, the rabbi looked out and saw the priest sprinkling water on their...
Dumb Joke: Double-Decker Passengers Are Terrified Of The Ride
There's a double-decker bus driving down the street full of passengers – blondes and brunettes. On the lower level of the bus, the brunettes are having a good time,... Talking, laughing, and singing along to the music playing. On the upper part of the bus, the blondes are seated... they're in a panic. They're screaming, terrified, and holding onto each other as the bus...
Hilarious Silly Old Man Vs Young Man Clean Joke: Time Please
Young Man: "Sir, may I know the time, please?" Old Man: "Certainly not." Young Man: "Sir, but why? What are you going to lose, if you tell me the time?" Old Man: "Yes, I may lose something if I tell you the time." Young Man: "But Sir, can you tell me how?" Old Man: "See, if I tell you the time you will definitely...
Hilarious Clean Animal Joke Of The Day: Talking Parrot For Sale
A man went to an auction and bid on a parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher. Finally, he won the bid. As he was paying, he said to the Auctioneer, "I surely hope such a costly parrot can talk. "Don't worry", said the Auctioneer, * * * * * * * * * * "He can talk. Who do you think...
Hilarious Best Joke Of The Day: Elderly Women & Speed Limit
A Police Officer was waiting along the side of a highway waiting to catch speeding drivers. There weren't as many violators this day as usual. The State Police Officer sees an old car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the...
Best Hilarious Clean Office Joke: Always Allow Boss To Speak First
A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says: Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each." So the eager senior manager shouted:, "I want...
Hilarious Innocent Birthday Gift Joke: Confessions Of Little Johnny
Little Johnny came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted. "Mom, I want a bike for my birthday." Little Johnny was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Johnny's mother asked him if he...
Hilarious Stupid Joke Of The Day: Blonde & Horseback Riding
A blonde named Anna had a near death experience. The other day when she went horseback riding. Everything was going fine until the horse started bouncing out of control. She tried with all her might to hang on, but was thrown off. Just when things could not possibly get worse, her foot got caught in the stirrup. When this happened, she fell head first...
Hilarious Short Clean Joke Of The Day: Blonde Walking Her Dogs
A blonde was walking her dogs when a man walking in the opposite direction says "oh my, you have such beautiful dogs.. what are their names?" The blonde replies "Well, the taller one is Timex and the shorter one is Rolex." The man responds "Huh.. that's interesting.. why did you name them such names?" The blonde sighs and shakes her head. "Everyone keeps asking me the...
Hilarious Clean Blonde Joke Of The Day: Dumb & Stupid Together
Three blondes are in an elevator when the elevator suddenly stops and the lights go out. They try using their cell phones to get help, but have no luck. Even the phones are out. After a few hours of being stuck with no help in sight, one blonde says to the others "I think the best way to call for help is...
Best Hilarious Pregnancy Humor Every Women Must Read: The Washcloth
This has to be read, laughed at and passed on. There is not a woman alive today who won't crack up over this! This is a real incident, and no its not me so ignore the I's and me's. I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor's...
Hilarious Husband Wife Joke Of The Day: Men Will Be Men
The room was full of pregnant women and their partners. The Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan. "Ladies, exercise is good for you," announced the teacher. "Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to...
Hilarious Comedy Joke Of The Day: Umbrella Thief
An elderly man gave all of his seven umbrellas for repair at one time,... and told the shopkeeper he would pick it up in the evening while back from work. On the way to work in Bus, out of habit he grabbed the umbrella of the woman sitting next to him,... got up and started walking. The woman started yelled, "Umbrella thief, Umbrella...
Hilarious Bar Joke Of The Day: A Smart Guy VS Old Drunkard
Joke Title: How Old Am I? A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I want you to give me 12-year scotch, and don't try to fool me because I can tell the difference." The bartender is skeptical and decides to try to trick the man with 5-year scotch. The man takes a sip, scowls and says, "Bartender, this crap is...
Really Funny Clean Old Age Joke Of The Day: Shameless Visitor
The Grandmother of a just got married grandson phoned that he was coming to present his beautiful lovely wife to grandma. The delighted Grandma started giving instructions how to come to their high rise colony retirement Apartment. She started blabbering, "When you come to the front door of the apartment building inside vestibule, My son there is a push button, push it with...
Hilarious Irish Humour Joke Of The Day: Drunkard Mick & Paddy
Two Irishman, Mick and Paddy were walking home from the pub. Mick says to Paddy, "I can't be bothered to walk all that way." "I know," says Paddy, "but we've no money for a cab and we've missed the last bus home." "We could steal a bus from the depot," Mick suggests. They arrive at the bus depot and Mick tells Paddy to go in...
Hilarious Dumb Joke: Stupid Patient Stung By A Bee Joke
Patient: Please doctor help me. I have been stung by a bee. Doctor: Don't worry. I'll put some cream on it. Patient: You'll never find the bee. It must be miles away by now. Doctor: No No please understand. I'll put some cream on the place u were stung. Patient: Oh! it happened in the garden where I was sitting under a tree. Doctor:...
Hilarious Joke: Worst Salesman Of The Year & His Customer Service
Young Johnny was appointed sales person at a local General Dealer's store in Kampala. While on one of his shifts, a lady approached him and asked if they had peach jam to which he bluntly replied, "Out of stock." At this, the lady immediately turned to leave the shop in disgruntlement. It was then that the shopkeeper, who had been looking on, called...