Sunday, March 17, 2019
Home Tags Simple Jokes

Tag: Simple Jokes

Hilarious School Joke Of The Day: Little Johnny v/s Science Class
In a school science class four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol. The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a jar of sperm. The fourth worm was put into a jar of soil. After one day, these were the results: 1) The first worm...
Good Clean Joke Of The Day: Depressed Man v/s Doctor's Therapy
A man walked into a therapist's office looking very depressed. "Doc, you've got to help me. I can't go on like this." "What's the problem?" the doctor inquired. "Well, I'm 35 years old and I still have no luck with the ladies. No matter how hard I try, I just seem to scare them away." "My friend, this is not a serious problem....
Dad, Little Boy & Pilot On Plane: Clean Hilarious Joke Of The Day
Joke Title: A to Z...!! An airplane is flying over the United States at night. The pilot says: "Ladies and Gentlemen, the plane is losing altitude and all the baggage must be thrown out." A little later, the pilot says: "We're still losing altitude, we must throw anything out that is in the cabin". The plane continues its descent despite more things being thrown out. Pilot:...
Hilarious Good Simple Marriage Joke Of The Day: Jealous Husband
A jealous husband hired a private detective to check on the movements of his wife. The husband wanted more than a written report; he wanted video of his wife's activities. A week later, the detective returned with a video. They sat down together to watch it. Although the quality was less than professional, the man saw his wife meeting another man! He saw the...
Hilarious Comedy Joke Of The Day: Lady v/s Gentleman On Bus
Joke Title: Acquainted This lady that was wearing a tight skirt was waiting at the bus stop to get onto the bus. A bus pulled up and the driver opened the doors. She tried to step up onto the step but her skirt was too tight. So she reached back to unzip and loosen it a little. She tried to step up onto the...
Hilarious Clean Simple Joke Of The Day: Blonde vs Car Sale
Judi tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it because the car had 250,000 miles on the odometer. One day, she told her problem to a friend she worked with at a salon. Her friend told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal." "That doesn't matter," replied Judi, "I...
Hilarious Catholic Humor Of The Day: Nervous New Priest & Vodka
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip." So next Sunday he took...
Clean & Hilarious Simple Marriage Joke: Cyclone & Husband Wife
A cyclone hit a Kansas farmhouse just before dawn one morning. It tore off the roof, and picked up the beds on which the farmer and his wife slept were sleeping. By some miracle, the cyclone set them down unharmed the next county over. The wife was sobbing uncontrollably. "Don't be scared, Mary," her husband said. "We're not hurt." Mary continued to cry. "I'm not...
Simple Clean Comedy Joke: American Couple, Boy & No Untruth
One American Couple went to Africa for their Honeymoon. While walking on the countryside they saw one beautiful lake. There was one little boy standing and enjoying the atmosphere on the bank. They asked him whether there are any sharks in the lake. He said: "No". They jumped in the lake but after few minutes they got suspicious. They came back and asked the boy,... "Are...
Simple Husband Wife Humor Joke Of The Day: Daily Bar Time
A pissed-off wife was complaining about her husband spending all his free time in a bar,.. so one night he took her along with him. "What'll you have?" he asked. "Oh, I don't know. The same as you I suppose," she replied. So, the husband ordered beer and threw his down in one shot. His wife watched him, then took a sip from her...
Hilarious Good Clean Marriage Humor Joke: Most Damaging Food?
Joke Title: What is the most damaging food? A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here,... Years ago, Red meat is awful. Vegetables can be disastrous,... And none of us realizes the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the...
Hilarious Humor Hospital Best Short Jokes: Doctor VS Patient
Peter called his doctor's office for an appointment. "I'm sorry," said the receptionist, "we can't fit you in for at least two weeks." "But I could be dead by then!" "No problem. If your wife lets us know, we'll cancel the appointment." Patient: "Nurse, I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes." Nurse: "Have you seen a doctor?" Patient: "No, just spots." Question: Does an apple...
Clean & Simple Husband Wife Humor Joke: Mailman's Serene Knocking
A woman came storming at the Postal counter. She gave a parcel Pick-up notice and complained, "This morning, your mailman came with our parcel for delivery. He left this note for us to pick up from Post office, but my husband was home all the time. Why could not he knock our doors and deliver parcel at home?" The Post master was polite and...
Clean Simple Husband Wife Joke On Marriage: Influence Of Anesthesia
In a recovery room a man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery. His wife was sitting by his side holding his hand. His eyelids just opened for a few seconds. He looked at his wife as if he was returning from out of body experience, hallowed by bright white light. With a broken smile and in a groggy voice he mumbled...
Hilarious Neighbor Joke Of The Day: American NRI Patelbhai
It was 3.00 AM in the morning and wife Rachel was not able to sleep as her husband was pacing the bedroom floor with self-talking, gesturing with anxiety of some short. So Rachel asked the husband Jackie:, "What was so bothering him that he would keep her from sex and also let her not sleep." "You know our next door kindly neighbor,...
Hilarious Clean Religious Joke Of The Day: Daddy's Scribbles
Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, and they give him $50." The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100." The third boy says, * * * * * * * * "I...
Hilariously Cute Pregnancy Joke Of The Day: Height of Innocence
A three-year-old walked up to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office. He inquisitively asked the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?" She replied, "I'm having a baby." With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?" She answered, "He sure is." Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?" She said, "Oh,...
Hilarious Student Humor Joke Of The Day: Time to Study
Hi Friends, It Is No Fault Of Student Because A Year Has Only 365 Days. Days In A Year = 365 Sundays = 52 Days Sundays Are Meant For Rest Days Left = 313 Days Summer Vacations = 60 Days Weather Is Very Hot, and its a Vacation Days Left = 253 Days 8 Hours Of Daily Sleep = 122 Days Sleep Is Necessary Days Left = 131 1 Hour Daily...
Hilarious Clean Family Joke: Mom, Dad & Little Girl's Question
Joke Title: Origin A little girl asked her mother: How did the human race appear? The mother answered: "God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so was all mankind made." Two days later she asks her father the same question. The father answered: "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race was developed." The confused girl returns to her mother and...
Hilarious Humorous Lawyer Joke: A Rabbi, A Hindu And A Lawyer
A Rabbi, a Hindu and a lawyer were driving late at night in the country when their car suddenly expired. They set out to find help, and came to a farmhouse. When they knocked at the door, the farmer explained that he had only two beds, and one of the three had to sleep in the barn with the animals. The three...
Clean Simple Comedy Joke Of The Day: The Plumber On Run
A man knocked the door of house. The lady opened the door. The man said, "I am the here on the run, to fix your leaky pipe." The Lady said, "We don't have any leaky pipe here." The plumber on run, says, "My note reads, your house called for a Plumbing Emergency, address looks exact, Aren't you Mrs. Smith?" The Lady says, "No, Smiths moved...
Hilarious Clean Joke: Doctor & Elderly Lady's Demand
Joke Title: 20 Years My friend Ada was slowly recovering from a heart attack. "Doctor," she pleaded with her cardiologist, "you must keep me alive for the next two years. I want to attend my first grandchild's bar mitzvah." "We'll try," he replied compassionately. In due course Ada gratefully attended the festive rite of passage. Some time later she again spoke to her doctor. "My granddaughter...
Hilarious Comedy Joke Of The Day: Umbrella Thief
An elderly man gave all of his seven umbrellas for repair at one time,... and told the shopkeeper he would pick it up in the evening while back from work. On the way to work in Bus, out of habit he grabbed the umbrella of the woman sitting next to him,... got up and started walking. The woman started yelled, "Umbrella thief, Umbrella...
Simple Clean Joke Of The Day: Two Lawyer Friends Playing Golf
Joke Title: Oh, Those Darn Lawyers Two lawyers, Jon and Amanpreet, head out for their usual 9 holes of golf. Jon offers Amanpreet a $50 bet. Amanpreet agrees and they're off. They shoot a great game. After the 8th hole, Amanpreet is ahead by one stroke, but cuts his ball into the rough on the 9th. "Help me find my ball. Look over there," he...
Hilarious Cute Joke Of The Day: Innocence Babies At Its Best
Two babies were sitting in their cribs, when one baby shouted to the other, "Are you a little girl or a little boy?" "I don't know," replied the other baby giggling. "What do you mean, you don't know?" said the first baby. "I mean I don't know how to tell the difference," was the reply. "Well, I do," said the first baby chuckling, "I'll...
Hilarious Clean Humor Joke Of The Day: A Priest And A Nun
A priest and a nun are on their way back from the seminary when their car breaks down. The garage doesn't open until morning so they have to spend the night in a hotel. It only has one room available. The priest says: "Sister, I don't think the Lord would object if we spend the night sharing this one room. I'll sleep on the...
Hilarious Marriage Humor: Difference Before and After Wedding
Marriage is an exciting part of our life. The vows we made on our wedding days really did mean the world to us, and we thought the blessed joy of matrimony would never die. However, once we are married, that thrill does dip – let's be honest about it! The hilarious joke below makes this truth perfectly clear! Husband: At last! I can...