Thursday, January 24, 2019
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Hilarious Non Veg Bad Dirty Joke: Three Friends in Jungle & Fruit Of Labour
Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits. The first one came...
Hilarious Joke: How God Created Man After Listening Eve's Side Of The Story
After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. 'So, how is everything going?' inquired God. 'It is all so beautiful, God,' she replied. 'The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem. It's these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I...
Hilarious IT Joke: Bill Gates in Heaven Looking For Windows
Bill Gates died and, much to everyone's surprise, went to Heaven. When he got there, he had to wait in the reception area, which was about the size of Massachusetts. There were millions of people living in tents. Food and water were being distributed from the backs of trucks, while staffers with clipboards slowly worked their way through the crowd. Bill lived in...
Hilarious Indian Management Joke Of The Day: Ravan & Pappu
Once Pappu started praying to Ravan and after 1 year Ravan was very happy from the bhakti of Pappu. Then Ravan decides to give 3 vardans to Pappu. RAVAN: Say vatsa! What you want? PAPPU: I want 100 vardans. RAVAN: But I can give you only 3 vardans. PAPPU: But I want 100 vardans. RAVAN: No child that's not possible. PAPPU: No I want 100 means...
Hilarious Political Joke: Indian Tourist And Bronze Statue Of A Rat
An Indian tourist walks into a curio shop in San Francisco. Looking around at the exotica, he notices a very lifelike, Life-sized bronze statue of a rat. It has no price tag, But is so striking he decides he must have it. He takes it to the owner: "How much for the bronze rat?" "Twelve dollars for the rat, one hundred dollars for...
Joke Of The Day: Smart and Intelligent Divorced Wife's Revenge
After 37 years of marriage. Jake dumped his wife for his Young secretary. His new girlfriend demanded that they live in Jake and Edith's multi million dollar home and since the man's lawyers were a little better he prevailed. He gave Edith his now ex-wife just 3 days to move out. She spent the 1st day packing her belongings into boxes crates and...
Stupid Joke: Elderly Man Tells Doctor His 20-Year-Old Bride Is Pregnant
The doctor asked the old man how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old said, "Things are great, and I've never felt better! I now have a 20-year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that, doctor?" The doctor considered the question for a minute, and then began to tell a story. "I have an older friend, much like you,...
Dirty Hilarious Joke: The Pearly Gates Entrance Exam
It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy. The new law was that in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a really bad day on the day that you died. The policy would go into effect at noon the next day. So, the next day at 12:01 the first person came...
Hilarious Cheating Joke: Three Men And Heavenly Transportation
Once there were three men, Dave, John, and Sam, who were involved in a tragic car accident in which all three died. As they stood at the gates of heaven St. Peter came up to them and said, "You will all be given a method of transportation for your eternal use around heaven. You will be judged on your past deeds, and will...
Best Joke: A Woman Was Out Golfing Found Magical Frog
A woman was out golfing and hit the ball deep into the woods. When she went to look for it she found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes." The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that...
Hilarious Cat Joke: Please Lord, Make Me Comfortable Here In Heaven
A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, "You have been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask." The cats says, "Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors." God says, "Say no more." And...
An 80 year old man was having his annual checkup and the doctor asked him how he was feeling. "I've never been better!" he boasted. "I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?" The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy...
Adam, a very good looking successful man decided that it was his birthright to marry only a perfect and equally beautiful woman so that they would produce equally beautiful offspring. To achieve his goal, Adam went out to explore the world and look for the woman who would meet his high standards and with whom he could spend the rest...
A mother is invited by her son, for dinner. He lives in a college hostel, with a female roommate, Tina. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Tina is. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between her son and his roommate than...
On the first day, God created the dog and said: "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said: "That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I’ll give you back...
One day at the end of class, little Johnny's teacher asks the class to go home and think of a story to be concluded with the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story. Little Suzy raises her hand. "My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs...
A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying, "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa." The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye Grandpa?"... The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do" The next day...
While walking down the street one day, a presidential candidate is tragically hit by a car and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. "Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high-ranking official around these parts, you see, so we're...
An old man, a boy and a donkey were going to town. The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked. As they went along they passed some people who remarked it was a shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding. The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions. Later, they...
John dies and passes on to the afterlife he comes to, looks around and finds himself in what looks like the dirtiest alley of the world's worst urban center. As he's trying to come to terms with what's happening he hears a voice say, "Hey there old friend, fancy meeting you here." John looks up and sees his old friend...
Jack, a renown atheist, dies and to his utter surprise ends up in hell where he's greeted by Satan himself. Completely shocked he talks to the devil and says: "Welp, I've been wrong all my life and I guess I'm now to pay the price for my lack of faith" Satan laughs and replies: "Awh it's not so bad down here,...