Saturday, December 15, 2018
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Tag: Stupid Jokes

Hilariously Dumb Joke: A Blonde Wanting To Earn Money
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?: The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The...
Hilarious Dumb Joke: A Policeman And Blonde Detective Training
A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" The first blonde answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The policeman says, "Well... uh... that's...
Dumb Blonde Joke: Three Workers Are Sick And Tired Of What's In Their Lunchboxes Every Day
Three construction workers on the seventy-fifth floor of an unfinished building take a break for lunch. The dark-haired man opens his lunchbox to find a pasta meal, and says, "Man, if I get pasta one more time I am going to jump off this building and fall to my death!" The redhead opens his lunchbox to find salad and says, "Man, if I...
Hilarious Dumb Joke: Two Hunters Are In The Woods When One
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "I'm in the middle of nowhere and I think my friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First,...
Stupid Joke: Blonde Walks Into A Doctors Office
Blonde walks into a doctors office and says: "Doctor, what's the problem with me? When I touch my arm, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my leg, ouch! it hurts... When I touch my head, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my chest, ouch! it really hurts!" . . . . . . . . . . . The Doctor replies: "Your finger is broken."
A dumb blonde named Barbara walks into the police department looking for a job. The captain says they can't just turn her away, and orders a desk officer to ask her a few questions as if doing an interview. Not having any idea what to ask her to disqualify her application, the officer asks, "What's 2+2?" "Ummm… 4!" Barbara says. Dang, the officer thinks,...
There was a preacher who fell in the ocean and he couldn't swim. When a boat came by, the captain yelled, "Do you need help, sir?" The preacher calmly said "No, God will save me." A little later, another boat came by and a fisherman asked, "Hey, do you need help?" The preacher replied again, "No God will save me." Eventually the preacher drowned and went to heaven. The...
Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "No, listen carefully… If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples...
A woman is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds." When the woman returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds. "Wow, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my...
Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched with horror as her ball headed directly towards a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of them and he immediately fell to the ground clutching his hands together to his groin, rolling around in obvious agony. The woman rushed over and immediately began to apologize. "Please allow me...
An old man, a boy and a donkey were going to town. The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked. As they went along they passed some people who remarked it was a shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding. The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions. Later, they...
A Chinese doctor can't find a job in a Hospital in the US, so he opens his own clinic and puts up a sign outside. It reads: 'GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100.' An American lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic. Lawyer: 'I have lost my sense of...
John dies and passes on to the afterlife he comes to, looks around and finds himself in what looks like the dirtiest alley of the world's worst urban center. As he's trying to come to terms with what's happening he hears a voice say, "Hey there old friend, fancy meeting you here." John looks up and sees his old friend...
A husband and wife were golfing when suddenly the wife asked, "Honey, if I died would you get married again?" The husband said, "No sweetie." The woman said, "I'm sure you would." So the man said, "Okay, I would" Then the woman asked, "Would you let her sleep in our bed?" And the man replied, "Ya, I guess so." Then the wife asked, "Would you...
After driving for about six hours, a trucker decides to pull over and sleep for a little while. As soon as he falls asleep, he is awoken by some knocks on the door of the cab. "Can you tell me the time, please?" asks a jogger. "Yeah, it's 4:30," answers the trucker. He falls asleep again, but he is awoken again by another...
Three drunken guys entered a taxi after a heavy night of drinking. Immediately realizing that the men were inebriated, he quickly thought up a plan to get rid of them. He started the engine, turned it off again and said: "We have reached your destination". "Alright pal, here you go," said the first guy as he gave him the money. The second guy...
Ever since I was a child, I've always had a fear of someone under my bed at night. So I went to a Psychiatrist and told him I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy. "Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the psychiatrist. "Come talk to...
A lawyer had just bought a fancy new car, and was eager to show it off to his colleagues, when an eighteen wheeler came out of nowhere and took off the driver's side door with him standing right there. "NOOO!" he screamed, because he knew that no matter how good a mechanic tried to fix it, it would never be the same. Finally,...
One of the matrons of the church was cooking a pot of her famous beans for the church potluck. Her son, Little Johnny, came running through the house, BB gun in one hand, and a handful of BBs in the other. He tripped and the BBs, naturally, went right into the pot of beans. Thinking it over, Little Johnny could think of...
A judge was interviewing a South Carolina woman regarding her pending divorce and asks, "What are the grounds for your divorce?" "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by." "No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?" "It is made of concrete, brick, and mortar," she responded. "I...
Funny Dumb Husband Joke: This Man Doesn't Know What to Make of His Wife's Request
A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday. "I'd like to be six again", she replied, still looking in the mirror. On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, made her a nice...
Funny Dumb Joke: Double-Decker Passengers Are Terrified Of The Ride
There's a double-decker bus driving down the street full of passengers – blondes and brunettes. On the lower level of the bus, the brunettes are having a good time, talking, laughing, and singing along to the music playing. On the upper part of the bus, the blondes are seated... they're in a panic. They're screaming, terrified, and holding onto each other as...