Friday, February 15, 2019
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Tag: Stupid Jokes

Hilarious Silly Old Man Vs Young Man Clean Joke: Time Please
Young Man: "Sir, may I know the time, please?" Old Man: "Certainly not." Young Man: "Sir, but why? What are you going to lose, if you tell me the time?" Old Man: "Yes, I may lose something if I tell you the time." Young Man: "But Sir, can you tell me how?" Old Man: "See, if I tell you the time you will definitely...
Hilarious Husband Wife Short Dirty Joke: Bad Horse Riding
A minister gave a talk to the community center on sex. When he got home, he couldn't tell his wife that he had spoken on sex, so he said he had discussed "Horseback Riding" with the members. A few days later, she ran into some men at the shopping center,... and they complimented her on the speech her husband had made. She said:, * * * * * * * * * "Yes, I...
Best Hilarious Clean Office Joke: Always Allow Boss To Speak First
A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says: Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each." So the eager senior manager shouted:, "I want...
Hilarious Stupid Joke Of The Day: Blonde & Horseback Riding
A blonde named Anna had a near death experience. The other day when she went horseback riding. Everything was going fine until the horse started bouncing out of control. She tried with all her might to hang on, but was thrown off. Just when things could not possibly get worse, her foot got caught in the stirrup. When this happened, she fell head first...
Hilarious Short Clean Joke Of The Day: Blonde Walking Her Dogs
A blonde was walking her dogs when a man walking in the opposite direction says "oh my, you have such beautiful dogs.. what are their names?" The blonde replies "Well, the taller one is Timex and the shorter one is Rolex." The man responds "Huh.. that's interesting.. why did you name them such names?" The blonde sighs and shakes her head. "Everyone keeps asking me the...
Hilarious Clean Blonde Joke Of The Day: Dumb & Stupid Together
Three blondes are in an elevator when the elevator suddenly stops and the lights go out. They try using their cell phones to get help, but have no luck. Even the phones are out. After a few hours of being stuck with no help in sight, one blonde says to the others "I think the best way to call for help is...
Hilarious Clean Safe For Work Office Joke: New Company Trainee
A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee... On his first day, he dialled the kitchen and shouted into the phone: "Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!" The voice from the other side responded: "You fool; you've dialled the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?" "No" replied the trainee. "It's the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!" The...
Hilarious Non Veg Blonde Dirty Joke Of The Day: Exotic Pet Frog Rehearsal
A blonde, June, goes to her local pet store in search of an 'exotic' pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box FULL of frogs. The sign says: 'SEX FROGS' Only $20 each! Comes with 'complete' instructions. The girl, June, excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her. She whispers softly to the man behind the counter, "I'll TAKE...
Hilarious Government Office Clean Joke Of The Day: The Genie
A government employee found an old brass lamp in a filing cabinet. When he dusted it off, a genie appeared and granted him three wishes. "I'd love an ice-cold beer right now," he told the genie. Poof! A beer appeared. Next, the man said, "I wish to be on an island, surrounded by beautiful and willing women." Poof! He was on an island with...
Bad Hilarious Non Veg Joke Of The Day: Men Will Try Everything
A Canadian salesman checked into a futuristic hotel in Tokyo Japan. Realising he needed a haircut before the next day's meeting he called down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the premises. "I'm afraid not, sir," the clerk told him apologetically, "but down the hall from your room is a robot vending machine that should serve your...
Hilarious Clean Best Work Joke: Irishman, Russian & Japanese
Joke Title: "SUPPLIES" There friends an Irishman, a Russian and a Japanese man, all set out on a journey looking for work. They go by a quiet little dusty town and see a sign advertising work in the local coal mine. The pay is great, so they go off and look for the boss. They find him and he tells them: "Well, you know, I...
Hilarious Bad Joke: Little Girl & Father's Sudden Bizarre Knowledge
A little girl runs out to the backyard where her father is working and asks him,... "Daddy what's sex?" Her father sits her down and tells her all about the birds and the bees. He tells her about conception, sexual intercourse, sperms and eggs. He goes on to tell her about puberty, menstruation, erection, wet-dreams... and he thinks, what the hell, and goes on...
Hilarious Dumb Joke: Stupid Patient Stung By A Bee Joke
Patient: Please doctor help me. I have been stung by a bee. Doctor: Don't worry. I'll put some cream on it. Patient: You'll never find the bee. It must be miles away by now. Doctor: No No please understand. I'll put some cream on the place u were stung. Patient: Oh! it happened in the garden where I was sitting under a tree. Doctor:...
Dumb Hilarious Joke: Blonde Pilot Emergency Landing Dialog
A young blonde pilot is beginning flying lessons and is in a two-seater airplane with just the instructor pilot. He has a heart attack and dies. The frantic young blonde pilot calls out a May Day. "May Day! May Day! Help me! Help me! My instructor pilot had a heart attack and is dead, and I don't know how to fly. I'm just...
Dumb Joke Of The Day: Who Are the Smartest People in the World?
A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and then he bailed...
Bar Joke: A Nazi Walks Into a Bar And Notices A Jewish man
A Nazi walks into a bar, looks around, and notices an older orthodox Jewish man seated at a nearby table. "Barman", he says, "A round on me, for all your patrons, but not for the old Jewish geezer right there." As everyone in the bar receives their drinks, he looks directly at the Jew with a nasty little smile. Surprisingly the Jew nods...
Stupid Boss Joke: Dumb CEO Overreacted And Fired A Worker
In a factory: A man standing on the floor and looking aimlessly. CEO of that factory came and asked his salary. Man replied "$2000 sir." CEO took out his wallet and gave $6000 and told him "I pay people here to work and not to waste time, This is your 3 months salary. Now get out of here. Never come back" That guy left without...
Hilarious Joke Of The Day: Never Lie To A Smart Wife / Woman
One day, the husband called his wife, and asked: "Honey I've been asked to go fishing in China with my boss for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get the promotion. So could you please pack enough clothes for a week, set out my rod & fishing box. We're leaving from office & I'll swing by the house to...
Hilariously Dumb Joke: A Blonde Wanting To Earn Money
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?: The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The...
Hilarious Dumb Joke: A Policeman And Blonde Detective Training
A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" The first blonde answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The policeman says, "Well... uh... that's...
Dumb Blonde Joke: Three Workers Are Sick And Tired Of What's In Their Lunchboxes Every Day
Three construction workers on the seventy-fifth floor of an unfinished building take a break for lunch. The dark-haired man opens his lunchbox to find a pasta meal, and says, "Man, if I get pasta one more time I am going to jump off this building and fall to my death!" The redhead opens his lunchbox to find salad and says, "Man, if I...
Hilarious Dumb Joke: Two Hunters Are In The Woods When One
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "I'm in the middle of nowhere and I think my friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First,...
Stupid Joke: Blonde Walks Into A Doctors Office
Blonde walks into a doctors office and says: "Doctor, what's the problem with me? When I touch my arm, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my leg, ouch! it hurts... When I touch my head, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my chest, ouch! it really hurts!" . . . . . . . . . . . The Doctor replies: "Your finger is broken."
A dumb blonde named Barbara walks into the police department looking for a job. The captain says they can't just turn her away, and orders a desk officer to ask her a few questions as if doing an interview. Not having any idea what to ask her to disqualify her application, the officer asks, "What's 2+2?" "Ummm… 4!" Barbara says. Dang, the officer thinks,...
There was a preacher who fell in the ocean and he couldn't swim. When a boat came by, the captain yelled, "Do you need help, sir?" The preacher calmly said "No, God will save me." A little later, another boat came by and a fisherman asked, "Hey, do you need help?" The preacher replied again, "No God will save me." Eventually the preacher drowned and went to heaven. The...
Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "No, listen carefully… If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples...
A woman is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds." When the woman returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds. "Wow, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my...